Anywho, it seems this is a bit of copypasta, at least to some degree: same comment was also posted by Elizabeth Stevens on the LA Times’ article about AquAdvantage. Strangely, someone else previously left the same comment on the same post, except it was “Ask A Orange [sic]” rather than “Ask A Fish.”

So there is something fishy [har] about it…

I talked to a salmon the other day about the new plans to farm genetically-modified salmon.

I explained that humans – the billions of us, and especially us Americans — feel that we are in dire need of faster, cheaper, more plentiful, more convenient but extremely tasty nutrition options. I conveyed that, since each of us requires pounds of animal flesh daily to maintain our superior brains and stay in top shape as the earth’s most advanced and important species, we’d like to make a few changes for salmon. If it flies, we know schools of other fish to recruit to the new order.

We’ll revamp how and where you live, I detailed, how and where and when you spawn (or not), how you grow and develop, and et cetera so that you can become perfect little fish protein parcels, nearly ready for consumption. And if, in return for this great opportunity, you’ll just learn to leap onto our plates, that would be very convenient.

I told the salmon that her kind would be pioneers, the first fish to live with no burdens and no worries, no purpose other than to be food, and no experiences other than to grow and be slaughtered.

No more flush and excitement of that silly sex drive, no more competition to be your best, no more déjà vu epic journeys to find the ancestral spawning grounds, no more worries about eluding bears while fighting one’s way upstream against the bracing currents.

No more distractions from the jumble of smells, sights, sounds and sensations of nature. Instead, just a long, long bath with a few thousand of her best girlfriends as they watch each other balloon from the effects of growth hormone genes.

Their cooperation, I explained, will allow us to live the rich, full lives that only we — as humans — so rightly deserve, to revel in the experiences of our beautiful world, and to follow the biological imperative of every living thing to survive, thrive and reproduce.

When I asked her what she thought of the plan, she merely goggled at me, her mouth opening and closing silently. Stunned speechless, she was, by the honor of this great opportunity and her incredible good fortune.

Go ask a fish for yourself, and see what it has to say about the prospect of genetic modification, sterilization and life in a fish farm tank. Or better yet, just think about it for a while on your own and let the damned fish swim while they still can.