‘Stylus magazine — I’d never heard of them either — has a Top Ten list put together by their staff. Today’s list? Top Ten Most Welcome Movie Deaths. Their number one choice?
| Bruce Willis in Armageddon. |
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Note added a few minutes later: In related news, Abe Vigoda is 85 years old today (scroll to the bottom of the page)!
Tip o’ the space helmet for the link to The Huffington Post.’
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The original BA site (with the Moon Hoax debunking, movie reviews, and all that) can be found here.
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 | Bad Astronomy was chosen as one of Time.com's Best Blogs of 2009. |
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February 24th, 2006 at 10:11 pm
Shelley Winters in “Poseidon”? Try Shelley Winters in “A Place in the Sun.” Or Shelley Winters in “Lolita.” Now, there are a couple of roles where you’re practically begging the hero to kill her. Her Poseidon character seems lovable and radiant by comparison. (Memo to Stylus: There are actually a few movies from before 1972.)
February 24th, 2006 at 10:22 pm
Combined best AND unexpected: the end of Thelma & Louise. I hated every character in that movie, and hoped it would end with a global, pus forming, flesh dissolving plague from outer space.
Unexpected: To Live & Die In L.A. One of the two main characters gets a sudden shotgun blast to the face about 2/3 of the way through the film. Came out of nowhere. Exit stage left.
Unexpected: Marvin in Pulp Fiction. He’s the kid who Travolta accidently shoots in the car.
Wandering into TeeVee:
Satisfying: When Nina Myers finally gets her payback from Jack Bauer on “24″
Unexpected: Boone on “Lost”. They seemed to be leading him up to something. And then his sister a few episodes later.
Unexpected: Henry Blake on M*A*S*H
Unexpected: Dan Turpin on Superman, The Animated Series. Zapped by Darkseid’s omega beams.
February 24th, 2006 at 11:15 pm
Satisfying: Bruce Willis in Sixth Sense. Didn’t stop the movie though, Noe! it still went on for something like five or six hours of boredom only to have an ending that immediately prompted the wife to say: “We should see that again”.
Satisfying: Any Ewok or Jar Jar Binks killed in Star Wars.
February 25th, 2006 at 12:29 am
I think I hate that site. Their comments about The Abyss and The Matrix trilogy were uncalled for.
February 25th, 2006 at 4:02 am
Most unexpected:
Barry Newman as “Kowalski” in Vanishing Point, although the film maker “cheated” by starting the movie with a “feel good” ending.
Most satisfying:
Gregg Allman’s charactor in Rush. Never did a villian so deserve what he got AND the way he got it.
February 25th, 2006 at 4:16 am
Bruce Willis got killed in that movie?
I didn’t even remember that one!
February 25th, 2006 at 5:12 am
I’d like to see the BA do more bad/good astronomy movie reviews. They’re such fun to read.
February 25th, 2006 at 8:22 am
Can’t beat some of those old sci-fi movies though…
What about Michael Rennie in “The Day the Earth Stood Still” or
“The First Men in The Moon”……I especially like the opening theme.
February 25th, 2006 at 8:26 am
Best Death Scene in the Geek Canon:
Spock in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.
The death scene of Charlotte Haze (Shelley Winters) in Kubrick’s Lolita is elaborate and just wonderful. Nabokov loved it too: “Sue Lyon bringing that breakfast tray or childishly pulling on her sweater in the car — these are moments of unforgettable acting and directing. The killing of Quilty is a masterpiece, and so is the death of Mrs. Haze” (Annotated Lolita, p. 355). Nabokov, it should be noted, also invented the emoticon. (-;
Most underwhelming death I’ve seen in a recent movie: Ian McKellen in Richard III. He was so awesome, right up until the end. . . .
By the time Requiem for a Dream was over, I found myself wishing the main characters could die, just to escape. But no, Aronofsky made it plain they would live on, so they could suffer more.
And in the “simply stunning” category, there’s always Toshiro Mifune in Kurosawa’s Throne of Blood.
February 25th, 2006 at 8:29 am
Ach, I’m an idiot! I completely forgot to mention HAL 9000′s death scene in 2001: A Space Odyssey. Some science-fiction nerd I am.
February 25th, 2006 at 8:56 am
Abe Vigoda was 85 years old when he played on “Barney Miller”, at least it seemed so. One of my favorite actors.
JP
February 25th, 2006 at 9:39 am
Hi! Those pesky list-makers are confused; the villian in the ABYSS movie dies when his Mini-submarine IMPLODES, which is fully explained in the movie’s constant reference to extreme hydrostatic pressure at the bottom of the ocean. I think the list-maker’s powerful brain imploded from from the pressure of overwhelming hubris! Thanks, Phil!
February 25th, 2006 at 10:55 am
Unexpected: To Live & Die In L.A.
– Good call on this one — struck me as similar to Janet Leigh’s death in PSYCHO. “What are we supposed to be watching for the rest of the movie?!!!”
Stylus’ list is so idiosyncratic and art-college-sophomore snarky that they’ve missed some really good iconic ones — What about Carlo in THE GODFATHER? The Terminator in THE TERMINATOR? Pretty much everybody in MAD MAX and THE ROAD WARRIOR?
February 25th, 2006 at 11:01 am
Guano, you said:
“I think I hate that site. Their comments about The Abyss and The Matrix trilogy were uncalled for.”
I think I can understand where those comments came from. The Abyss was a wonderful (albeit slow) sci-fi film right up to the point where the woman drowns and is resuscitated 5 minutes later. I found that too incredible and it ruined the film for me.
The Matrix (the first film) promised so much … that its sequels failed to deliver. I think many sci-fi fans judged the sequels harshly because they had such high expectations.
February 25th, 2006 at 1:08 pm
Good call, Star*liter.
And as for “iconic” deaths, hmm, I’m sure we could make a beginning by scrolling down the IMDb’s Top 250 list. Start with Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars and go from there. . . .
And what about the totally expected deaths, instead of the completely unexpected ones? I’m thinking Lester Burnham in American Beauty.
February 25th, 2006 at 2:17 pm
>> right up to the point where the woman drowns and is resuscitated
>> 5 minutes later. I found that too incredible and it ruined the film for me.”
Oh, c’mon. That James Cameron at his emotion manipulation directing best. People have been successfully recussitated after much longer times, and it always seems to involve freezing water. There was a case of a boy under freezing water for over 15 minutes who was revived. Five minutes is unusual but not imposssible.
>> The Matrix (the first film) promised so much … that its sequels
>> failed to deliver. I think many sci-fi fans judged the sequels harshly
>> because they had such high expectations.”
That was the problem: fans seemed to be expecting the Second Coming.
I, however, simply hoped for a decently constructed sci-fi action epic, and I got what I wanted, and was therefore satisfied. There’s some brilliant scenes in #2 and #3. The Matrix trilogy is an above average Hollywood sci-fi actioner, and it never really tried to be anything else.
And if I may nitpick some other comments, the list was *unexpected* deaths. For example, HAL9000′s “death” wasn’t that unexpected. The astronauts he killed in cryosleep *were* unexpected deaths. You savvy?
February 25th, 2006 at 2:19 pm
Re: The Sixth Sense
No one ever believes me, but I figured out the punchline of Sixth Sense when I saw the first trailer. After it ran, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be funny if Willis’ character is also dead?”
February 25th, 2006 at 3:09 pm
TheGalaxyTrio, I don’t believe you…
February 25th, 2006 at 3:12 pm
The most disturbing death I remember from movies is the one at the end of Seconds.
February 25th, 2006 at 3:22 pm
Most unexpected: Wash in Serenity.
Most satisfying: The Emperor in Return of the Jedi.
February 25th, 2006 at 3:27 pm
Most satisfying: Macauly Culkin in “The Good Son” – I was working as an usher at one of the theaters it was playing at, and when he died, the whole sold-out crowd broke out into cheers and applause
February 25th, 2006 at 4:02 pm
I don’t have to mention “The Hitcher” and Jennifer Jason Leigh in the “unexpected dead” category, do I?
February 25th, 2006 at 6:15 pm
I was just so surprised when President Nixon didn’t get assassinated in The Assassination of Richard Nixon. What gives?
February 25th, 2006 at 6:25 pm
Chris – I’m with you on that. I didn’t see “The Good Son” until many years after it came out, but I remember thinking how creepy the whole thing was and how well done the boys’ characters were, considering the actors’ ages at the time.
February 25th, 2006 at 7:30 pm
I can’t help but agree with a lot of them. Gosh, Dicaprio dying in Titanic made my day (especially that this movie bored me beyond bounds.)
February 25th, 2006 at 9:09 pm
This kind of cynicism is self congratulatory nonsense and so tired.
February 25th, 2006 at 11:13 pm
I hear “Wash” will be replaced by “Mr. Fish” (Abe Vigoda.)
>>guano Says:
Most unexpected: Wash in Serenity.
>>
February 26th, 2006 at 12:09 am
And under the category of “Well, what else would you do?” – for movie deaths:
Slim Pickens riding the A Bomb in “Dr. Strangelove” – “Yeeee Haaaa!”
February 26th, 2006 at 12:51 am
>>Slim Pickens riding the A Bomb in “Dr. Strangelove”
I hate to say it, but I always considered that a glaring misfire by Kubrik in an otherwise brilliant film.
Speaking of atom bombs, for unexpected, how about everyone in New York at the end of Fail Safe?
And many main charatcers, followed by the human race, at the end of the miniseries World War III.
February 26th, 2006 at 3:37 am
Now we speak atom bomb, Best Resurrection: At the end of season 1 of Sledge Hammer, he tries to dismantle a nuclear device only to blow up the whole city and himself. To be continued….
Season 2 began with the announcement: “The following season of Sledge Hammer! takes place five years before that nuclear explosion.”
February 26th, 2006 at 4:24 am
Curse ye, Gene Siskel!
I went to see Armageddon only because Gene Siskel gave it three stars. He said that you get bombarded by so much action and noise that it ultimately becomes amusing. I guess I don’t have Siskel’s sense of humor because I didn’t laugh and walked out of the theater.
I never saw the demise of Bruce Willis.
February 26th, 2006 at 9:01 am
Holy moly! Lenin’s image in the shower curtain! They say that the only protection against becoming a comunized raging heathen zonbie when this happens is to have a grilled cheese Mary and two cloves of garlic on a rope………you DID have a grilled cheese Mary and two cloves of garlic on a rope didn’t you?
February 26th, 2006 at 1:07 pm
Bwahahaha said:
Pretty much everybody in MAD MAX and THE ROAD WARRIOR?
The guy on the motorcycle who gets it head-on by Mad Max in the truck is a good death. OK, it’s sick, but I imagine one’s eyes would do that when faced with a grill of an on-coming 18-wheeler…then to add insult to injury, the truck drives over him.
Nigel Depledge said:
I think I can understand where those comments came from. The Abyss was a wonderful (albeit slow) sci-fi film right up to the point where the woman drowns and is resuscitated 5 minutes later. I found that too incredible and it ruined the film for me.
I found the acting in “The Abyss” to be horrible, but the concept a lot of fun. The drowing–that’s Cameron’s “overkill” for ya.
February 26th, 2006 at 2:01 pm
The Abyss was a wonderful (albeit slow) sci-fi film right up to the point where the woman drowns and is resuscitated 5 minutes later.
February 26th, 2006 at 3:57 pm
I think Armageddon was on TV last night.
The only time I “saw” Armageddon was on a flight and I didn’t bother getting the headphones to listen to it. The kids in the row in front of me had a portable VCR player and were watching “Wizard of Oz”. So my memories of Armageddon is seeing Bruce Willis and hearing “I’ll get you my pretty! And your little dog, too!”. I haven’t bothered seeing it since Phil says it’s really bad.
As far as movie reviews, most of the sci-fi movies come out for the summer “silly” season.
On my top ten of welcome deaths are: Leo DiCaprio in the Titanic (who should have already been dead due to electrocution, hypothermia, and the suction of Titanic going down) and the main character in The Who’s “Quadrophrenia”. I remember thinking “will the guy just go ahead and commit suicide and put us out of our misery”? Then again, I saw that movie sober which was probably the first mistake.
February 26th, 2006 at 6:49 pm
Wash in Serenity definately the most unexpected.
February 27th, 2006 at 8:57 am
What about movie deaths that you want to happen but they don’t. Like Jeff Goldblum’s character in “Jurassic Park”. He was annoying throughtout and you just hope he gets eaten by a T-Rex or something. However, he lives to make a second movie, and he is just as annoying!
Luckily for me, I haven’t seen most of the movies on that list. Including “Armageddon” Thanks Bad Astronomer!
February 27th, 2006 at 4:17 pm
>10. Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias.
Too populist to die nowadays, Roberts’s early career exit is a moment to savour, only lessened by the fact histrionic mother Sally Field does not join her.
Too populist?!?! Is that really the word they mean to use? Perhaps “popular” is what they meant?