This may be the most important page on the internets: how to cut through the endless phonemail systems of various businesses so you can get an actual human on the other end: GetHuman.
Of course, if you email me you just get a ‘bot that replies back saying, “404 Human Not Found.”
If you went to BadAstronomy.com and found yourself here, never fear: the BA Blog has moved to its new home at Discover Blogs. The original BA site (with the Moon Hoax debunking and all that) is still online, too.
Phil Plait, the creator of Bad Astronomy, is an astronomer, lecturer, and author. After ten years working on Hubble Space Telescope and six more working on astronomy education, he struck out on his own as a writer. He has written two books, dozens of magazine articles, and 12 bazillion blog articles. He is a skeptic, and fights misuses of science as well as praising the wonder of real science.
Contact me: The Bad Astronomer "at" gmail "dot" com
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"Reading this book is like getting punched in the face by Carl Sagan. Frightening, but oddly exhilarating."
-- Daniel H. Wilson, author of How to Survive a Robot Uprising
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March 23rd, 2006 at 11:09 pm
The writer of this reply is currently asleep. Automated response follows… science sure is cool….Republicans make me sick…is that Ted Danson’s face I can see in that potato?….Armageddon sure is a bad movie…..But have you tried balancing eggs on the winter equinox?…. (continues for 14 pages)
March 23rd, 2006 at 11:18 pm
Oh, and on a more serious note….
If you go to http://www.randi.org you can hear Randi speak in a new update- no robots involved.
Of course- that’s how the Cylons started, as advanced phonemail systems. You are all warned.
March 24th, 2006 at 12:36 am
I think we all know that the real danger is not that our phone call will connect us with a non-human being, but that we will inadvertently make the call using an unsanitized telephone.
March 24th, 2006 at 3:41 am
LOL, Blake!
March 24th, 2006 at 6:33 am
You know that there is a real problem when you are put on hold (automatically you begin to feel as though you are going to be cut off) and you hear two clicking noises and finall “If you would like to make a call please hang up and dial again”.
All this super technology, while some of it is really great, just saves some executive money so he does not have to pay more folks to take your call.
And it is getting to be more than a pain and ridiculous.
Just like Telemarketers, I predict someone will try to write a bill outlawing the over use or real abuse of these technologies.
March 24th, 2006 at 6:37 am
Just for fun, I clicked on the Gethuman link.
On the right,under Google Ads, what do I see?
Outsourced Tech Support…
At the rate we are going, the only people that might have
jobs are Astronomers like Phil, the rest of us may have our
jobs outsourced!:(
March 24th, 2006 at 12:02 pm
I was haivng a little fun with the Old Navy system the other day (requires Quicktime to hear): human.amr
March 24th, 2006 at 12:03 pm
s/haiving/having/
March 24th, 2006 at 12:17 pm
My biggest peeve with the so-called computer generated or non-human answering services, other than being re-routed to somewhere in India, ( nothing against Indians ), is the limited choices that often deny a logical path to the resolution of our phone call. The different departments that handle similar areas of concern over different organisations, and sometimes within the same department that do not recognise similarities is ridiculous.
And it is even more frustrating when one cannot return to another option without re-dialing and having to wait as long again. Of course the topper is when one is put through to an extention already visited, and then directed to another person who just happens to be on vacation or sick or it’s their ‘flexiday’, and there is no return to the operator allowed by their answering machine.
GRRRRRRR….!!
Ivan.
March 24th, 2006 at 12:24 pm
Hey Phil, I just realised that this must be a bonus topic as it is not headlined on the main page of the Blog. Am I missing something? At least I did not miss this one, but I wonder how many before this I have.
Ivan.
March 24th, 2006 at 12:45 pm
Looks like a useful idea. Shame it only seems to cover companies in the US. Generally, I only ever phone the ‘States from work.
March 24th, 2006 at 12:46 pm
Perhaps, someone should start a foundation for the Search for Terrestrial Life over the telephone. There’s always that slim chance that it will be detected.
March 24th, 2006 at 2:17 pm
Welcome to MetroBank.
For checking account information…press one.
For savings account information….press two.
For auto loan information………….press three.
For student loan information………press four.
For an operator………….scream at the top of your lungs.
AAAAAARRRRRGGGG!!!
…….I’m sorry, if you are trying to reach an operator, you must scream louder.
March 24th, 2006 at 4:01 pm
The little secret “back door” that almost always works (at least for me) is to not touch any buttons at all. This simulates a rotary dial phone, a device that, while rapidly diminishing, must still be supported. If you don’t press a button, it will usually default (eventually) to a real human operator.
I’m sure that this is the reason for the rise in speech-recognition phone tree systems, but there are a lot of folks (like me) that feel really stupid talking to a machine.
- Jack
March 24th, 2006 at 5:29 pm
I moved my phone service to a large VOIP provider. Their service doesn’t support pulse dialing only touch dialing. About time.
March 24th, 2006 at 7:55 pm
2 troubles with Voice over IP technology…
What happens if your internet connection goes down a black hole?
Ever try dialing 911?
Of course, lot’s of folks have cell phones now which can come in handy and those old rotary dial phones work just on the juice in your phone line.
March 24th, 2006 at 8:25 pm
I do not in principle have a problem talking to a machine. The problem is, the damn things do not really understand human speech. In another ten years, perhaps the software will have improved to the point where you’ll actually get the movie tickets you asked for, or whatever.
In the meantime I have (quite inadvertently of course; I didn’t mean to, but the machine drove me to it) found a tip not listed on that site: when you want a human, start swearing at the machine. It helps if you do this loudly.
“#$@%#$ off, you $#@%# machine!”
“Give me a #$@%# HUMAN! NOW, you $#@%#!”
Works like a charm. Just be sure not to accidentally continue in this vein once you do get a human operator. It really hurts their feelings and does not necessarily elicit any beter service than you got from the machine in the first place.
March 25th, 2006 at 7:21 am
Brian, that may work, but you are still likely to get the off-shore call center, with the usual xxxx-accented ‘half-pay for twice the hours worked’ local, and if you are really lucky, your language is theirs too. And some centers make out actively that they are local, they tell you the latest score of some sporting event, and even know the teams etc., when you know they are in another country, and your favorite big name local company has out-sourced.
I have heard of somebody who suggested on prompting, that they were just leaving for a suggested town, that they would be there in half an hour, and it did not faze the operator who did not have a clue just how far away it really was, in this case, 1000km – over 600 miles – driving ! Even Schuey in his Ferrari couldn’t do it.
Oh yes, I too have found it useless saying the name of whom I wish to call when using the Directory Service, I seem to get service sooner by mumbling anything nondiscript, as the so-called voice recognition software gives up sooner. Being sarcastic or derogatory or swearing will probably mean after some time the call is terminated mid-sentence , or wrong information is given, and one is no further ahead.
Ivan.
March 25th, 2006 at 10:20 am
P. Edward Murray said:
“2 troubles with Voice over IP technology…
What happens if your internet connection goes down a black hole?
Ever try dialing 911?”
Also a third problem – having to switch the darned computer on to make a phone call!
The way MS set up their Windows OSs, each successive generation takes longer to boot up, so, in about 23 years’ time, it will take over an hour for the computer to switch on…:)
March 25th, 2006 at 10:23 am
There are two things I really dislike about overseas call centres:
1, at least half the time, the person you end up speaking to does not have either the English or the information to answer your question, and
2, if it is cheaper to set up a call centre overseas, it just goes to show how much the phone companies are fleecing us for international phone calls that aren’t to an overseas call centre.
March 25th, 2006 at 1:55 pm
What do you mean? I’m always easy to find.
Peace.