Comments on: Blog back up, and big news soon

By: Kaptain K

Kaptain K — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 21:15:53 +0000

“Iâ€™m sure a lot of you noticed, though I only got one email. Sniff!”

Some time ago you mentioned that you get over 100 emails a day. I figured you didn’t need one more telling you what you already knew!

By: Irregular Times: News Unfit for Print

Irregular Times: News Unfit for Print — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 12:49:37 +0000

Pluto Demoted to Dwarf Status, Ceres Promoted to Pluton, My Left Pinky Named Matilda…

I read this morning that in a meeting of the International Astronomical Union, Pluto has been demoted to the new status of “pluton,” or dwarf planet, while the objects Ceres, Xena, and Charon have been promoted to dwarf planet status for th…

By: Ronn

Ronn — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 11:05:33 +0000

After hearing Mercury’s comment, Uranus responded, “You think *you* have something to complain about?”

By: Evolving Squid

Evolving Squid — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 06:09:16 +0000

Dover, DE (FP)
In a surprise move, lawers at Cheatem and Bilkem have filed a class action lawsuit on behalf of the Moon, Titan, Ganymede, Callisto, Io, Europa, Triton, Rhea, Iapetus, Dione, Tethys, Tritania, Oberon, Umbriel and Ariel at the International Court in The Hague.

“Our clients are being denied their rightful billing as planets,” said lead counsel Richard Visage, “and unfair billing is being distributed to smaller, insignificant objects in the outer rim.” It is believed that the plaintiffs are seeking status and punitive damages from the IAU.

When interviewed for comment, Mercury had this to say, “I don’t know what they’re on about. I’ve been a planet for a long time and it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. They named me after a naked man with wings on his feet… how do you live that down? Pass the sun screen please.”

Ceres, traditionally quiet on the whole planet issue was more direct “4.5 billion years I floated out here, minding my own business. This lot, these ‘moons’ *HAD* to go float around Jupiter and Saturn or that icky Earth. Oh they were so cool back then. Now they’re ticked because they can’t be planets. They can kiss my asteroids. Patience paid off and I’m a planet now, so those bunch of moon rocks can go . I made the big leagues and they’re just jealous. Here’s a moon for ‘em”

Most of the plaintiffs were unreachable, but Io was adamant, “I got stuck here in the early days. I’ve been erupting crap for billions of years trying to blow this popsicle stand. Look, if that fat yellow blob in the middle didn’t hog up all the mass when we were young, I might be orbiting a star in my own right. I’m bigger and sexier than Pluto and Quaor. People look at me all the time, nobody sees those other two. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to have an eruption.”

Lawyers for the IAU have not had time to review the court filing and had no comment at this time.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 06:08:39 +0000

It’s 11:03 PM Pacific time!

By: Evolving Squid

Evolving Squid — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 05:43:08 +0000

Was sitting here thinking “wow, BA is usually punctual” and playing a video of Animotion’s “Obsession” in another window, when the overload of 80’s mullets and big hair tweaked my brain into realizing that 11 PM PDT is 2 AM EDT, not 1 AM.

I wonder what epiphany I’d have had if I’d found an old Bee Gees video from the 70’s.

By: Chip

Chip — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 05:35:11 +0000

You realize Bad Astronomer Plait that if they don’t recognize our planetary status, we’ll be forced to close our embassy and take the long, 9 year return trip back home. We will surely miss your Earthly delights, such as liquid water and spaghetti. But so be it!

Zorgon III, Ambassador of Pluto