In fact, I feel sorry for those of you who absolutely despised this movie: does it really take THAT much more to satisfy you at the theaters? Can not one bad ass apocalyptic explosion after another, coupled with hot chicks & sleek smooth rides, Bernie Mac slapstick, and gloriously triumphant American patriotism woo you into submission like the poignant picture of the fireworks on the Fourth of July? The bombs bursting in air? The rockets red glare? Megatron’s icy dark lair? Gave PROOF through the night, that our tastes were not BARE! Spoke TRUTH to the sky, that there’s MORE than meets the eye!

Now, I’d like to talk more about the movie, but the sheer cynicism of the pessimistic critics causes me to indulge myself in a battle for acceptance & recognition of the Inevitable. If anything, this movie is a testament to the old adage: “No matter what, you can’t please all the people all the time.” There will always be haters, no matter HOW brilliant the artistic endeavor nor HOW deep the breadth of exhilaration inspires the Simple Man to do, as he surely does: to simply ENJOY the experience, neglecting to critique every minute detail of the kick-ass ‘flick’. Rarely in my own life has any film EVER thrilled me with such an unfathomable sense of stimulation in the heart of the cinematic spectacle. To compare, I’ll only name a few: “Jurassic Park”, “Independence Day”, “Armageddon”, & “Titanic”. Yes, there I said it…I liked the movie “Titanic”. And I’m not ashamed to say it. I thought it was a mind-blowing movie-going experience, and apparently I’m not the only one. Yet still the haters will crawl out of the woodwork and defile me for my honesty, my sincerity, my outward expression of that inner emotion which we ALL feel to one degree or another, and thereby will attempt to crush my credibility solely at the mention of James Cameron’s epic masterpiece.

Anyways, on with the show. What do these five movies ALL have in common? Action, Intrigue, Emotion, Inspiration. Allow me to reiterate that last one: Inspiration! THAT is the inner emotion which we ALL feel, some more than others, and others at the beat of a different tune, when we see a movie that strikes our fancy and deeply satisfies our ravenous tastes. When a dynamic movie of epic proportions appeals to the insatiable hunger which dwells within us, we get goose-bumps at the climactic rapture, feel GOOD, warm, and fuzzy inside at the triumphant conclusion, and slowly but unsurely get up from our seats like docile little lambs and numbly walk out of the theater, our mouths agape in utter astonishment at the epochal accomplishment our artists have created before our very eyes.

In my mind, “Transformers” IS “The Godfather” of action movies this summer. It IS the “Forrest Gump” of blockbusters this season, interminably running away with the limelight like there’s no end tomorrow. “Transformers” blew “Spiderman 3” clear out the water! “Live Free or Die Hard”? I’d rather watch the “Transformers” move and live free AND die hard! If all else fails at the box office this summer, and you’re anything like me, this movie alone will literally and metaphorically ‘transform’ you too. It is an aesthetic orgasm at the zenith of its climax. In simpler words than none: this movie is right on the money.

And to think, I almost didn’t even go see this movie because the “expert” critics proclaimed “it left more to be desired.” HAH! Only a literal missile through my incredibly awe-struck head from Starscream’s F-16 could have put their disgruntled dissatisfaction to rest. Well, seeing as how this Decepticon gets away in the end anyway, I’ll leave that next remarkable visual feat to Michael Bay. Bring on the sequel(s).

If you only scrolled down to read the end of my rant, in short, F**K the critics. For me, after seeing this powerfully prevailing movie, their credibility is shot. If you even had the slightest desire to go see this movie before, if the kid inside of you compelled even the humblest of inclinations to witness this wonderful maelstrom of a movie, if the brazen child of the 80’s which resides in EACH of us even remotely all-sparked you (pun intended) to gaze upon this in God’s greatest glory, go see it. And the Inevitable Truth is that this movie inspires generations of men, and children of men, to live like we were dying in an era of enchantment and wonder. For those simpletons of us who merely go to a theater to enjoy the action-packed cinematic experience, Optimus Prime & Co. will not let you down. As the clichés say, your ticket will grant you the whole seat for the show, but you’ll only need the edge of it. A fan may even vie to cry, for with “Transformers” the movie, there certainly is more than meets the eye.

webrunner, yes, that’s another good point. They have Megatron in cryogenic storage - in a huge open high-bay but trying to keep him coated in ice. Right.

For all the schlock Bay stuck in there, enough of the Generation 1 Transformer material was there not to utterly offend the senses, despite the changes.

If I’d had my eyes closed when the Autobots spoke, I could have identified them from their voice acting alone, and that carries a lot of meaning to me. All the flashy visuals aside, the characters are still there, just in need of a better director to let them run.