Sigh.
Jesus in an oil smudge in a garage.
To be fair, the guy who owns the smudge doesn’t think it’s really Jesus (though someone paid $1500 for it on eBay).
But wait a second. If that’s Jesus, and he’s coming back… we’re all in HUGE TROUBLE!
The End Times are here. Skepticism is futile. You will comply.
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The original BA site (with the Moon Hoax debunking, movie reviews, and all that) can be found here.
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August 12th, 2007 at 9:17 pm
It’s not Jesus – it’s a young Fidel Castro
August 12th, 2007 at 9:31 pm
Locutus of Nazareth?
August 12th, 2007 at 9:33 pm
Actually I find it really amazing that these kinds of things aren’t more common. Why don’t people just MAKE smudges that look like people? I mean really, if you can get 1,500 bucks out of a smudge, why aren’t we having hundreds of people trying to sell things like this?
August 12th, 2007 at 9:34 pm
Personally, I saw the image of Simba used on the poster for the Broadway musical adaptation of The Lion King. But I think I’m cool with having a lion messiah. It’d make just about as much sense as anything else.
August 12th, 2007 at 9:47 pm
“The End Times are here. Skepticism is futile. You will comply.”
Bahahahahahaha!
August 12th, 2007 at 9:49 pm
I see King Leonidas of Sparta.
August 12th, 2007 at 9:53 pm
Hopefully all the gullible will be assimilated.
August 12th, 2007 at 9:59 pm
“Hopefully all the gullible will be assimilated.”
That ship may have already sailed.
August 12th, 2007 at 10:00 pm
I prefer Barney the Dinosaur on the wall of the Petroleum Club:
http://cspg.org/publications/reservoir/archives/2007/Reservoir-0708-2007.pdf
August 12th, 2007 at 10:05 pm
ZOMFG! I was just reading Carl Hiaasen’s “Lucky You” in which there’s a subplot about an oil-stain that looks like Jebus. Clearly this is a sign from above.
August 12th, 2007 at 10:06 pm
You know, if the smudge comes with the rest of the garage, $1500 might not be that bad a deal…
… seriously though, how do you sell a stain?
August 12th, 2007 at 10:52 pm
“…how do you sell a stain?”
Hack it out with a jackhammer?
Okey dokey. I’m going to get something to smudge onto a wall, or a window, or a floor, or a piece of toast. It (the smudge) will look just vaguely like a face. OK. Next, I’ll proclaim to see a face, and wouldn’t you know, I just happen to have had my cold clear up the moment I discovered it? Must be a miracle! Then, I’ll alert local media, no wait, just a few gullible people… no, wait, the media is full of gullible people, so that’s like getting two birds with one stone. Great! Finally, I’ll wait through all the hords of ‘miracle chasers’ for someone to offer me a nice wad of cash for the smudge.
Oh, yeah, this is going to be fun…
$$$$$
August 12th, 2007 at 10:58 pm
… seriously though, how do you sell a stain?
With a mop. If it’s a tough stain (which the Holy of all Holy’s is sure to be) then you use a little 409 and some elbow grease.
Oh wait. That’s how you clean a stain.
Never mind.
/ Emily LeTella voice off
August 12th, 2007 at 11:10 pm
Jesus was a Neanderthal?
August 13th, 2007 at 12:00 am
Looks a little to me like a cross between Che Guevara and Cornelius from Planet of the Apes.
August 13th, 2007 at 12:09 am
The tortilla looked more like a face…
August 13th, 2007 at 1:00 am
I’ve got an oil stain that looks like a tortilla …
August 13th, 2007 at 1:23 am
It’s the MGM logo. Must be some marketing thing.
August 13th, 2007 at 1:25 am
Its either Captain Hook:
http://www.cel-ebration.com/xCAPT_HOOK.jpg
Or Captain Haddock:
http://www.yunxue.cn/vcd/V0115/75.gif
August 13th, 2007 at 1:30 am
You know, if Jesus looks anything like Seven of Nine (aka Barbie of Borg), then my life long atheism is in for a challenge…
August 13th, 2007 at 1:53 am
The picture to me resembles the so-called face on Mars. I am a little surprised this article wasn’t called “Invasion from Mars”. It does vaguely resemble a face but so do so many other things. I guess if you want to believe, anything is possible.
August 13th, 2007 at 1:59 am
gazza…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!
August 13th, 2007 at 2:26 am
Eh. Forget Jesus Christ on a tortilla; too easy to draw with a soldering iron. My local art museum had a portrait of Sigmund Freud executed in female pubic hair.
August 13th, 2007 at 3:05 am
Sly has returned!
http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/ciu/67/3c/43cd1363ada045e27c9de010._AA240_.L.jpg
August 13th, 2007 at 3:21 am
It seems to be Portuguese poet Luis de Camões… Seriously. He does not have the right eye either (lost it in a war), and although the wikipedia image does not show it, he is sometimes depicted as having an eye patch. He has the beard. He has the crown… Too many coincidences.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lu%C3%ADs_de_Cam%C3%B5es
An image of Jesus sells for a lot more, though.
August 13th, 2007 at 5:29 am
Jesus in a garage is OK, I guess. . .
For real star power, you need God in an eggplant: http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=bizarre&id=5563034
August 13th, 2007 at 5:46 am
You’re all wrong – it’s a Vogon.
August 13th, 2007 at 7:11 am
I think I see one of the apes from the Planet of the Apes.
August 13th, 2007 at 7:40 am
“You’re all wrong – it’s a Vogon.”
Let us all hope it doesn’t start reading its poetry!
August 13th, 2007 at 7:52 am
Gazza: Seven of Nine or Angelina Jolie: either would be worthy of worship…and a real challenge to atheists everywhere however, since I’m merely agnostic, I’d be glad to jump on that bandwagon. Now all we need is an oil splatter to worship,,,or a pizza,,,unfortunately, the pizza would likely get eaten.
GAry 7
August 13th, 2007 at 8:12 am
What about a grease stain left by a pizza? Is that worshipable?
August 13th, 2007 at 8:18 am
I wonder if they’d be interested in some Veronica’s Veil Oil Stain Remover?
August 13th, 2007 at 8:30 am
Hey, if these religious fanatics want to cough up $1,500 for a piece of concrete with an oil stain on it, who are we to complain?
I just wish my Jeep leaked more oil.
August 13th, 2007 at 8:56 am
It looks like Jesus if he were drawn by the guy who draws Samurai Jack. It’s something about the eyes and the contours of the face. Or it could also be Yanni.
August 13th, 2007 at 8:57 am
Maybe the person who bought it wants to use it for a lithograph plate and run off their own “miracle” copies to sell on eBay?
August 13th, 2007 at 9:00 am
Maybe it’s just because there’s not enough of them to make the news, but has anyone ever wondered why there’s always Jesus in the toast, Jesus in the oil splotch, Jesus in the wet spot after nookie, Jesus in the dog’s arse, Jesus in the pavement crack, Satan in the 9/11 smoke, but…
… you never see Vishnu of the toast/oil/wet spot/dog-bottom/pavement crack
… you never see Buddha of the mushroom/cinnamon bun/spring/cumulus cloud
… you never see Allah at all
Is it that there aren’t enough Hindus/Buddhists/Muslims to get the press? I find that somewhat hard to believe, if for no other reason than Christians could make fun of them. Is it some kind of systemic religious discrimination? Are people of other religions less prone to believe their IPU would come to them in a pool of hobo vomit?
August 13th, 2007 at 9:10 am
Hilarious. Definitely keeping this, and the rest of your great pareidolia* (WOW! Spelled it right first try, yee-haw) series for the next time someone sees Elvis in a Dorito.
August 13th, 2007 at 9:38 am
What’s scary is that I’m not the only person to see this image and think “Planet of the Apes”. There must have been a movie poster that looked similar.
The only image I could find that comes close is this one:
http://www.coolstufftoys.com/images14-prints/printconquestplanetapes.JPG
August 13th, 2007 at 10:03 am
Evolving Squid: “Is it that there aren’t enough Hindus/Buddhists/Muslims to get the press? I find that somewhat hard to believe, if for no other reason than Christians could make fun of them. Is it some kind of systemic religious discrimination? Are people of other religions less prone to believe their IPU would come to them in a pool of hobo vomit?”
Can’t speak to the Hindus, but the Buddhists likely wouldn’t care one way or the other and the Muslims would probably kill you for claiming Mohammed’s image was in a tortilla…let alone an oil stain.
August 13th, 2007 at 10:16 am
Hey, that eggplant message looks more like “Gid” to me. What the heck does that mean? An abbreviation of “Gideon”? Wow, those Bible-planting folks get everywhere!
August 13th, 2007 at 10:25 am
It’s definitely the Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Oz… People are just not disciplined in their analysis of what they’re seeing…..
August 13th, 2007 at 10:42 am
I was thinking abotu this more and I do remember that Muslims have an issue with seeing Arabic blasphemies in seemingly random stripey patterns (causing Nike to recall shoes with a particular logo, for example)… so maybe that’s their version of Jesus of the Grilled Cheese.
August 13th, 2007 at 11:14 am
ARGH!
August 13th, 2007 at 11:37 am
Wow! I can’t believe someone else saw Simba as well!
And I think you should all ready “LuckyYou” by Carl Hiaasen…Sean is right that there is a great roadside religious “shrine” with a crying Virgin Mary in this very funny book.
August 13th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
“Jesus of the Grilled Cheese.”
I believe I am going to start a church…
August 13th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
It looks kinda like Simba, and kinda like some Japanese guy to me. At a track where I go running sometimes, there’s a flaw in the paint that looks like a high-heeled shoe. Ironic, because you can’t run in high heels. Assimilated? You don’t know how many times stuff like this happens to me! Just today I burned my pod double, forced my evil twin back into his dimension, dropped an anvil on a Dalek, and had a lightsaber duel with a wanna-be Sith lord. Seeing as everyone’s trying to rule the world, I’ll be sending any further comment from Phobos.
August 13th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
Evolving Squid, MAD Magazine did a piece on that a while back – Buddha in a bowl of Ramen noodles, Mohammed in a box of microvaveable Tater Tots, Joseph Smith in something else, Ganesh in something else.
I have seen a few pictures of cloud patterns, marks on rocks, and fruit slices that have allegedly resembled Arabic words. But…well, as someone once said in defense of their prose translation of Dante’s Inferno, “When you’re writing in Italian, it’s hard to avoid rhyming.”
August 13th, 2007 at 6:43 pm
So, Jesus is a man-sheep-owl. Never knew the Hebrews loved ther flock and fauna that much.
August 13th, 2007 at 7:12 pm
Well maybe it’s just me, but that looks like the Zig-Zag man on a pack of rolling papers…
But then maybe that’s because I -used- to enjoy gettin stoned as a bejezus and I’m havin a flashback.
August 13th, 2007 at 9:58 pm
I walked outside of the office building I work in at lunch today and looked up, as I always do, to check out the clouds. I like checking my knowledge of the different type, plus they look really cool when it’s a bit windy like today (I live in Los Angeles).
Today I saw one that immediately had me thinking: “It’s a grasshopper, a side view”.
I don’t think I’d be able to get $1,500 for that observation, though.
August 14th, 2007 at 12:22 am
Riley Freeman (Boondocks) with his mouth slightly open, wearing an elizabethan ruff. (I have no idea *why* Riley would be wearing an elizabethan ruff. Maybe he is trying to claim authorship of and royalties for Shakespeare’s plays?)
August 14th, 2007 at 4:14 am
There’s plenty of islam-related pareidoliae in the web, try “allah pareidolia” on google! any evidence of buddha or vishnu, though…
February 28th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
that dos not look like Jesus to me it looks like the face on mars that relly is not ther maybe the marstians put it ther .I dont think that Jesus would put an image of himslef ther for people to run over