Grain God

By Phil Plait | August 14, 2007 8:07 pm

BABlogee (and Universe Today writer) Nancy Atkinson sent this latest sighting to me (link goes to non-embeddable video; when will the MSM learn?).

A family has seen Jesus in the wood grain in their kitchen cabinet. This one’s not too bad as pareidolia goes, but I think I know what it looks more like …

Revelation (6:2): "…and the full Moon became like blood." Coincidence?

Come to think of it, it looks more like Dr. Zaius, but I’ve spent too much time on this post already. :-)

CATEGORIZED UNDER: Humor, Pareidolia

Comments (52)

  1. Reminds me of one of the lecture halls I frequented in college. The walls were covered with woodgrain panels similar to these cabinets. I swear I could see the tortured souls of hapless undergrads who had failed midterms and finals in those panels. They looked like they were quite in agony….

  2. C. Rich

    It looks more like a sleeping grench who stole christmas.

  3. Dan

    So, let’s see here. God’s handwriting is absolute gibberish, and when he signs his eggplant, I picture Charlie Brown trying to draw a circle with his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth, and his son Jesus’ self-portrait looks a heck of a lot like a thoroughly baked Tommy Chong in the 70’s.

    And, they actually expect people to worship this family? I think I’d rather worship a block of cheddar.

  4. Nonsense — it’s the creature from the black lagoon.

    Clear as day:

  5. uknesvuinng

    It’s D’Argo!

  6. JD

    Yeah, I see the Jesus. I see horns, too.

  7. ABR

    I think I see Poseidon. Or maybe a Cimmerian king, by Crom!

  8. Jerry Garcia lives!

  9. I’m with uknesvuinng.

    It’s Farscape’s D’Argo!

  10. Clearly, it’s Chewbacca. Perhaps Obi Wan is trying to communicate with us.

  11. Lucas

    Nah, I see Darth Vader.

  12. autumn

    Grain only becomes a god after it is malted and aged into a fine scotch.

  13. Brown

    Looks more like Bert Lahr as the Cowardly Lion, wearing his crown as “King of the For-uh-uh-uh-uh-st.”

  14. Mighty Favog

    Does anyone else see Odin wearing a crown? Funny I should come home and find this today…earlier I took a photo of a marble counter top that has an image of a woman with a face, body, and flowing hair.

  15. Rick

    I see an aging hippy-looking dude, Woodstock-style.

    Maybe George Harrison?

  16. DarthTed

    Might Favog – Odin was my first thougth also. However, I was looking for the hammer, because I really wanted it to be Thor.

  17. Jon H

    Rasputin beat me to it. It’s definitely Vlad Tepes ‘The Impaler’.

    Or it could be Poseidon from the movie Jason and the Argonauts.

  18. I love Johnny Cash (this connects, I promise) but “Mercy Seat” was always ruined for me by the line “The Face of Jesus in my Soup.”

    I can forgive, though. He didn’t write the song.

  19. andy
  20. Brian #2

    It looks like Santa Claus to me. Or is that Gandalf I might be seeing?

  21. linus

    Defenitely not Odin. He only had one eye, the thing in the panel seems to have two :). But somekind of wookie… though not chewbacca.

  22. Bill Bones

    A smiling wookie nonetheless…

    Either people should stop looking for pareidolias or MSM should stop reporting about them. (The latter said in the way anyone would say “the White House should not interfere with Science when it opposes its political goals”).

  23. For the real handwriting of god please see the above web site. This is the most detailed example of pareidolia ever found, with 35 corresponding features in size, shape and placement. This is a photograph of a natural shadow- No photoshoping or dodging and burning. Thanks. fred ressler. (Much detail is lost over the web, plus anomalous details are added due to the nature of the web.)

  24. Clearly it’s BIGFOOT!!! This is where he’s been hiding all these years…

  25. It’s Albus Dumbledore! He’s still alive!!!!

  26. it looks like a Wookie to me.

  27. It looks like a wookie, with the Harry Potter hairstyle.

    Wait… Never mind. It looks like the wood grain of a kitchen cabinet, now.

  28. MarshallDog

    Why is it that the media has to report on every one of these things that shows up? If this family had sent in a picture and said, “Look at this! Marilyn Manson appeared on our wood cabinet!” would it have made the news? Of course not. But the family “saw” Jesus Christ, so it must be special and more newsworthy than something else that happened in the world. I’m not sure what else, but that’s only because it wasn’t reported on because we just HAD to see that Jesus image.

  29. mln84

    >Mighty Favogon 14 Aug 2007 at 10:49 pm
    >Does anyone else see Odin wearing a crown?

    My first thought was a viking, then I noticed one eye was a little different and thought of Odin.

  30. phunk

    Definately a wookie.

  31. Encolpius

    Rick said, “I see an aging hippy-looking dude.”

    Actually, that’s me. It looks dead like me.

    I always thought I might be a god. Now there’s incontrovertable proof.

  32. Scotty B

    Kevin F beat me to it, so I second his vote for Dumbledore.

    …somebody go get Harry!

  33. I dropped hot fudge on the kitchen floor. I swear it looks exactly like jesus waste by-product as depicted in the picture bible.

  34. I think it looks like Chewbacca.

  35. FYI, the Jesus Oil Smudge is up for auction again at eBay by the people who bought it, something like that.

    Jesus is such a commodity!

  36. Miranda

    At first I thought Chewbacca, but now I’m thinking it’s the Cowardly Lion, here to bring a message from Oz. Just don’t look behind the curtain.

  37. Gary Ansorge

    I thought at first someone had snuck in and took a pic of me but then I realized, it is definitely Chewbacca. I wonder if George Lucas can sue them for displaying his creation w/o recompense?

    GAry 7

  38. It’s obviously Treebeard; I mean, it is wood and all that!

  39. It is *clearly* God, exactly as He appeared to King Arthur in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

  40. RayCeeYa

    Looks a but like a cthulhu to me. Could this be a sign of their return?

  41. Erik

    It’s obviously Chewbacca. Clearly this means that Jedi is the one true religion. Is the name Jediism or Jedism?

  42. ABR


    Cthulhu is like the Highlander (in the sense that there can be only one). At that, were Cthulhu to exist, it would be one too many! Speaking of which, I just ran across Looking at the cast, I suspect no good can come of this.

  43. Robert Alexander

    It looks like Poseidon to me.

  44. Michelle

    Looks like a woman to me. Jesus is a chick?

  45. Steve

    It’s Dargo from Farscape.

  46. Neil

    The only god involved in this picture is one of the gods of illustration and satirical portraits. This is clearly a portrait of a very high Duane Allman circa 1973 as drawn by Mad Magazine great George Woodbridge. No links, sorry, but look up his work and tell me it isn’t his! Of course, Woodbridge died in ’04, so depending on when this door was made, it could be his ghost.

  47. KaiYeves

    It’s Oppo Rancis from the Jedi Council! Pretend to understand the ways of the Force I do not.

  48. Bolo

    I see King Tut.

  49. ABR

    Nah, it can’t be King Tut. Now, if the substrate had been made of stone-a instead of wood, then maybe…

  50. Lyle Gaulding

    Several years ago, I was working security at a local McDonald’s. The floor was wood grain tiles. While wandering around in boredom, I noticed a tile pattern that looked like Budda. I called a regional newspaper. The staff was highly amused (this is the same part of the country that saw ‘Jesus on the screendoor’) but didn’t follow up. My hopes that the McD’s might become a world spiritual shrine were dashed when the building was destroyed by termites.

  51. GK

    OmG! Now im really a beliver….some dude made a special wooden thingy that resembles a dude that lived over 2000 years ago, and its not even proven that he did live! ZOMG im gonna convert from the peacefull religion of buddha to the war believing religion of christ!Just because of this!


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