Unfortunately, that means I can’t ask for a refund. I think this one killed the franchise, it was that bizarre.

Version 1: Wow, that looks like a good/tolerable/interesting movie; I’ll go see it.

Version 2: Little Astronomer is for some odd reason fascinated by the trailer, and I forgot her birthday this year, so I guess I owe her…

Version 3: I wonder if someone can actually die from 2 hours of banal, vapid, mindless dregs of celluloid. Not really ethical to test on someone else; well, here I go…

I hope it wasn’t version 1.

Typically your movie reviews are fun, concise, and at least reasonably accurate. I’m sorry, you missed out here. This review was far, far too wordy. Of course, this means you used too many letters, and we all know there’s a huge impending shortage of the letter ‘T’ looming on the horizon.

Far better to have said simply: “garbage” or “crap”, or “Codswollop”, or even a simple italicized “awful”.. but *NO*, You had to write this huge missive, full of extraneous foo-fraw. So full, in fact that I nearly missed my bus.

that being said..

and me being an ardent fan of MST3k (the best show ever to grace American TV), I find I have to judge all movies against “Manos; The Hands of Fate”. (Anybody who ever saw this movie in its raw form immediately suffered from post-traumatic-stress syndrome.)

I’ve not seen Dragon Wars, and, despite being a fan of dragons everywhere, don’t particularly intend to. Maybe if somebody gives the DVD to me as a gift. But come on, the trailers are supposed to make you want to see the movie. Ergo, they’re supposed to capture your attention. I actually had to go online to find the darn thing because it was so boring – I’d forgotten it, and the commercials on TV.

Come ON, if you are going to jump into the CGI movie arena, at least get on the cutting edge, not halfway to the back of the blade.

Even so, though, it’s obviously better than Manos. And it sure looks to be worse than the awful Broderick (whom I like) version of Godzilla. In fact, I’d venture to say it looks worse than any of the *Japanese* versions o’ Godzilla. From the trailer I just saw, I’d go so far as to suggest this thing is an updated old-style Chop-Suki movie – with scale-covered slinkys.

Maybe if they’d camped it up? Where’s Adam West when you need him?

Seriously, we weren’t that backwards 500 years ago… you’d think there’d be some sort of record.

J/P=?

[with thunder in the distance]

Bad:
Dragons exist.

Good:
No they don’t.

“America does just fine making cringingly terrible special-effect extravaganzas, so back off, South Korea!”

“using state of the art reartime rendering technology…”

They must have paid for this several times over as the version I saw back then had people riding dinosaurs and crap like that…very amateurish.

“No!”

“Why not?

“Because you have been doing so well in school, and I would hate to see Teh Stupid take away that which we have worked so hard to achieve.”