So I had to go to a end-of-the-semester party being held by Mrs. BA’s office. The dress code was suit and tie, which always elicits a grimace from me. I’m more of shrts-and-a-t-shirt kinda guy. I hate wearing a tie.
Furthermore, I don’t know how to tie a tie. I’m a scientist (and now a stay-at-home writer/blogger/rabble-rouser), and I rarely wear one. I realized my one black tie was hanging in the closet, pathetically untied, Mrs. BA was at work, and I was on my own.
I fretted, then suddenly remembered once upon a time seeing a website with instructions on tie tying. Searching my bookmarks (always think ahead, folks, and bookmark early) I found it. It was Mahalo.com.
I had first heard of this site through its founder, web guru Jason Calacanis, who appeared at Chris Pirillo’s Gnomedex conference, and I keep up (well, I try to keep up) with Pirillo’s comings and goings. Anyway, I liked what Jason had to say, and added him to my Twitter friends. That’s when I found his stuff about Mahalo.
Mahalo is a human-driven search engine. They actually vet the sites submitted, and then pick the ones they think are best. I initially thought it was the dumbest idea I ever heard of: there are billions of web pages. How would they do it?
Shows what I know. In fact, it’s a good search engine. They’re responsive, too. They didn’t have my humble site listed when I checked their listing for astronomy. So I submitted it, and they added it very quickly; as I recall, in less than a day. Other search terms yield good results too, with no spam, no sites that bought their way to the top, and all arranged into neat categories.
The important thing, of course, was that I was able to tie my tie in just a few minutes, on the first try, by watching the video they supplied with the instructions on their results page. Nice!
So I’m plugging Mahalo. It’s a good tool, and they literally saved my neck. Thanks, Jason.
February 3rd, 2008 at 11:17 am
The critical question is: Was it a half-Windsor (asymmetric) or full-Windsor (symmetric) knot?
February 3rd, 2008 at 11:19 am
I can never remember how to tie a tie as well, so I googled ‘how to tie a tie’, which alerted me to http://www.tie-a-tie.net. They have nice pictographic instructions
February 3rd, 2008 at 11:35 am
Funny, I always thought I used the Windsor. Now I realize that the (in)frequency of my tie wearing has caused a serious mutation of the knot…
February 3rd, 2008 at 11:42 am
There is a long standing tradition among younger scientists to wear the dreaded “clip on” tie, but is a look that has fortunately faded in recent years. Also, it required the additional 20 pens and pencils crammed in the shirt pocket (of a plaid short-sleeve shirt.)
Since Carl Sagan’s turtle necks, scientists are much more hip these days.
February 3rd, 2008 at 12:00 pm
=LOL= Whatever happened to clip-ons? My dad knew how to tie a tie, but he would only wear clip-ons because he was working in community organization in a not-terribly-nice neighborhood, and the last thing he needed was someone grabbing his tie and yanking him around. We used to call them “lizard tails.”
I remember my mom taking all his tie-on ties and turning them into clip-ons. I’ve long since forgotten where she got the clip attachments. Maybe from his older, out-of-style ties (as if he really cared what anyone thought of his ties
).
When I was working in R&D in the late 70s, a lot of the guys wore clip-ons. You could tell the ones who didn’t by the way they tucked the ends of their ties into the fronts of their shirts below the third button.
Neither of my younger brothers learned how to tie a tie when they were growing up. My kid bro learned because he had to wear them to work, and to tell the truth, I don’t think my other bro ever learned. I think my SIL does it for him on those very rare occasions when he has to wear one.
My former SO does the full Windsor knot. Seems like too much work to me.
IMO, bow ties are the real killer. I love ‘em, but I can’t tie one straight to save my life.
Of course it’s a moot point for me, seeing as I’m female. But I do like to wear “boy clothes” for dress-up every once in a while, partly to mess with people’s heads
and partly just because I like boy clothes, they’re way more comfortable than girl clothes. I’m lazy though – I leave my ties tied and just slip the knot to get them on and off.
February 3rd, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Aren’t Astronomers supposed to wear Bow Ties?
BTW, get a load of the Google ad below your post:
The Messiah’s Blog
This is the blog of the Messiah, Heralding the truth of the Universe
I think that says it all!
February 3rd, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Isn’t that how Yahoo started out?
February 3rd, 2008 at 12:53 pm
What’s everybody’s fascination with windsor knots? Four-in-hand is obviously superior.
Mahalo’s cool and all, but from an Information Retrieval standpoint is old school. The same quality/quantity argument as always, but [Eric M] was right on with his FGI insinuation. Pagerank gets it done good enough for a lot cheaper than a human vetting process.
BTW, love the blog!
February 3rd, 2008 at 1:40 pm
The Windsor needs a cut away ‘Windsor’ collar to look right
I use a half Windsor
For work I have to wear a Clip on, for safety reasons.
February 3rd, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Heh. I learned the best method when i was 12 for ties (lots of dressing up for choir) bring the thick end over the little to the left, pinch tightly at neck, flip over twice(while still pinching) then come under and slip through the 2 loops you’ve just made and have pinched, and pull!
February 3rd, 2008 at 2:07 pm
I have a fever of about 102 degrees right now, and when I searched on Mahalo, they had an entire section devoted to homeopathy and so-called ‘alternative medicine’.
February 3rd, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Oh sweet lord – Sorry, being what is known as “British” (small island, North Atlantic, correctly spell’s ‘Colour’ – yes we can afford the extra letters! -use to rule most of the known world etc…) the ‘Windsor’ is more correctly a ‘neck tie’ more than a ‘bow tie’ The latter is normally worn with formal diner dress (along with a ‘cummerbund’) rather than normal day dress i.e. a tie and shirt at the office. That said I personally avoid both on account of me being a software ‘geek’ thus excusing me of wearing any formal attire other than sandals, socks’ shorts and a polo shirt of course!
February 3rd, 2008 at 2:21 pm
I’ve only ever seen a handful of people who can tie a half-windsor and get it to come out looking like anything other than something produced by a drunken monkey with a string. Done properly, a half-windsor is great if you’re tall because it uses less material in the knot. However, every time you see someone with a cock-eyed, crooked tie with a knot that’s 3 inches long, think “half windsor”.
For most ties, a properly tied full windsor looks at least decent. If the tie material is thick (remember the old wool ties?) you might have to run with a half-windsor or a four-in-hand (or end up with a knot the size of a softball), but it takes practice to get those to come out looking decent.
Where the long part of the tie comes out of the knot, it should be smooth – it shouldn’t be crumpled up like a crushed handkerchief full of dents (re-entrants, female orifices, you know what I mean here). Nice and smooth all the way around. Some people say you can get away with 1 dent, but I disagree… 1 dent just looks like you don’t know how to tie it.
The tie should end within an inch of the top of your pants, ideally right at the top of your pants. Too short and you look like a dork. Too long and you look like a dork. Dents at the knot and you look like a dork.
I joined the military at 17 and had to learn to tie a tie right quick.
February 3rd, 2008 at 2:23 pm
I went to a school where we had to wear ties, so i can pretty much tie one with my eyes closed, even though i don’t think i’ve worn one since leaving school
February 3rd, 2008 at 2:58 pm
I agree with Evolving Squid. My main lasting skill (apart from an ability to iron shirts) that I got from my time in the Army was the ability to tie a Windsor knot quickly. Funnily enough though we had clip-on bow ties for our Summer Mess Undress that we had to wear for dinners in Summer.
Fortunately after many years in the classroom having to wear a shirt and tie I now no longer have to on a daily basis. Of course this means that my extensive range of comic/astronomy/science geek ties seldom see the light of day now.
By the way some mathematicians studied ties as a knot topology problem several years ago and ended up writing a book on it. From memory there are only 76 or 79 ways(?) to tie a tie. The book showed everyone of them but made the point that only a small subset actually produced useful knots. I can’t remember the authors or exact number at present but can chase it up when I get home tonight.
February 3rd, 2008 at 3:16 pm
“I hate wearing a tie.”
All you need to know (married or not) is that chix diggit. (Think about what makes women look sharp. Fair is fair).
Take all your ties, create space, have a woman who always looks great (i.e. has a good eye) partially tie them for you. Store them.
February 3rd, 2008 at 3:23 pm
It’s 85 ways, and here’s the website of the mathematician who published on it in Nature: http://www.tcm.phy.cam.ac.uk/~tmf20/85ways.shtml.
February 3rd, 2008 at 4:23 pm
I went to a high school that required a jacket and tie. On the first day of school, some poor freshman got terribly humiliated by upperclasmen for wearing a clip-on. Fortunately, I had recently spent several hours perfecting the skill of knotting a tie. Behold, the power of peer pressure.
BTW: I recently found out that they ditched the jacket requirement in the early 2000s, but still require a tie. We had to wear jackets, except during exams
February 3rd, 2008 at 4:46 pm
That’s a rather nice site, very informative. I always thought that the half windsor was the schoolboy knot, I’d never heard of a four in hand knot and i thought i tied mine in a windsor knot, when in fact i was using a half windsor all this time! Incredible.
February 3rd, 2008 at 5:43 pm
My first primary school, run by a Catholic convent, required me and all the boys to wear a tie during the “second term” each year (May/June/July). But this was nothing compared to the Christian Brothers’ boys’ school I went to from Grade 4 to Senior, where we were expected to wear the school tie to and from school for the whole nine years I was there. This has instilled in me an aversion to wearing ties unless I absolutely have to, e.g. at a wedding or a funeral. I believe the necktie to be the least necessary item of male clothing remaining, and I hope one day that it will go the way of the cummerbund.
February 3rd, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Now of course, we should examine the origen of this rediculous custom and one of its unpleasant side effects.
Story goes, in the days of King Henry the VIII, he was prone to wrapping loosly round his neck, a silk scarf, for t’was terrible cold and drafty in his old stone castle. The nobility, wishing to be like the king, but careful to not upstage the old dude, wore woolen neck scarves. Merchants, having no idea what the heck was going on but trying to be like their most prosperous customers, tied a thin piece of cloth around their necks and anyone wishing to work for the merchants did the same. See how a rediculous custom can get its start?
Side effect: In some medical research I read 20 plus years ago, there was an analyses of cerebral blood flow and ties. Seems that if the tie is tightened only a quarter inch smaller than neck circuference, it can decrease blood flow to the brain by as much as 20% and I’m not sorry to say, I need all the blood my brain can get so, Henry the VIII, you whos favorite method of devorce was the headsmans axe, I refuse to deprive meself of a good blood meal. Take your custom and %^^&* It.
As a side note, I had to wear one of those dang things as a computer field engineer because IBM had set the stage for “proper, professional attire”. Wankers!!!
GAry 7
February 3rd, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Lloyd Bridges taught me how to tie a Windsor knot!
True story: I was watching him star in an old film noir, I believe it was, where the bit of stage business he undertook was to dress himself before a mirror in the midst of a conversation.
When I saw where this was headed, I stopped everything to pay careful attention. Alas, as I studied his reflection, Bridges proceeded to don his tie, much to the film’s detriment.
I have forgotten all else about the Hollywood feature save for the knot!
February 4th, 2008 at 2:51 am
One thing to remember is that a tie is, after all, a silk scarf, and it helps to keep your neck warm. I attend a lot of classical music concerts, always step outside to smoke, and appreciate the warmth it offers. (At chamber music events, where the audience tends to be predominantly academic, the tie is disfavored and I wear a mock turtleneck instead).
Another thing to keep in mind is that if you feel throttled by a tie, you’re wearing a shirt with the wrong neck size. As with most things, if it hurts you are most likely doing things wrong.
I have a green tie with a gold stegosaurus pattern, a blue tie with golden bears and another blue tie with circuit board designs. If you have to be frilly – and, often, you do – you might as well be silly. The point, as always, is to find a way to enjoy yourself.
February 4th, 2008 at 4:20 am
[...] just been pointed at Mahalo (thanks Phil,) a new search engine. What sets it aside from the mainstream engines, is that it’s [...]
February 4th, 2008 at 6:26 am
Here is probably the most-ignored and seeming useless information that I will ever pass on but perhaps one person out there may find it of value: Tie a tie once, and never re-tie it (almost). When I ran a business I had to dress up every day, and tying a tie was a pain (many was the time that it was too short or too long, and so a second or third attempt was needed). So, once I got it right, I would simply loosen it at night and slip it over my head. And here is the important point: pull it back to the “neck size” before hanging it up. Next morning….loosen, slip on, and get on with your day. No, there is no permanent damage, and no one knows. Laziness does have its place in the world, you know. And yes, chicks dig it, and it’s no sillier than a lot of other customs, and it can radically improve your appearance, so if you are giving a speech, etc., and want to be seen in the best possible light, dressing up puts you one leg up.
February 4th, 2008 at 8:07 am
This tie discussion immediately reminded me of Clifford Stoll in his book The Cuckoo’s Egg. Relative to Clifford, I would say Phil is doing well to OWN a tie!
An interesting knot is the Pratt knot, made most famous by Don Shelby. Well worth learning.
Disclaimer: I usually wear a Half-Windsor, when I have to wear a tie.
DO
February 4th, 2008 at 9:15 am
Consider the bolo tie. Sure, you’ll look like an old timey cowboy or an oil baron, but if it’s good enough for Isaac Asimov, Gene Roddenberry and Abraham Simpson, then it’s good enough for the rest of us nerds.
February 4th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
When I worked at a bank, which required ties for most male enployees, some excused their use of clip ons by saying they worked with offsets or computer printers and were didn’t want to be choked if ties got cought in equiptment.
February 4th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
I assumed from the phrase “black tie” that the tie in question was a bow tie. Tieing those is pretty easy if you just treat it like tieing your shoe if you were wearing your shoe on your head.
I do a full Windsor for ordinary ties. Today’s tie has sailboat spinnakers all over it!
February 5th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
All this angst over tying a tie? It’s in the good old Cub Scout Manual. Right where I remember learning it.
February 28th, 2008 at 2:03 am
Hi, I am new to this. But I was annoyed wearing a tie since i never could tie a perfect tie-knot; unless I googled and got a list of sites. One site that drag my attention was http://www.2tieatie.com since it not only had pictures to teach the steps but also videos that show the things to do in a perfect manner.
Good one!
July 26th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
[...] A while back I wrote about the human-driven search engine called Mahalo. [...]