Scientists accidentally bang out a big one

By Phil Plait | February 18, 2008 2:51 pm

The Bollingbrook Babbler, that same journalistic tower of Swiftian impeccableness that had me talking to aliens, has once again scooped out a steaming pile of Pulitzer material: Fermilab creates new universe!

I visited Fermilab a couple of years ago for a project I was on, and I was suspicious about the number of colloquia advertised with titles like "How best to fleece the microcosm’s flock" and "Creating your own universe at home: potential patent and publishing pitfalls". I should have known.

CATEGORIZED UNDER: Humor

Comments (19)

  1. Speaking of which…

    As I understand it (and I’m hardly an expert), at the quantum level, particles are created out of nothingness, live for a brief time, and disappear again.

    What if the Big Bang was simply the creation of a very powerful, extremely long-lived quantum particle?

  2. JackC

    Oh man – that photo hurts my eyes, and I can’t even read the left sidebar…

    But other than that – Brilliant!

    Now – where’s that piece of toast?

    JC

  3. bob

    To be fair, I wouldn’t use the word journalistic, as the site states that everything on it is fiction.

  4. That’s lifted straight out of Gregory Benford’s Cosm where the incident happens at the RHIC – a brilliant hard sf story with lots of funny twists …

  5. bigjohn756

    Pretty funny, but a long way to go to compete with The Onion.

  6. Davidlpf

    I thought Cern was trying to destroy the universe by creating a mini blackhole.

  7. Chip

    I dread however “Name a Universe After Someone” is not far behind.

  8. Chip

    I dread however “Name a Universe After Someone” is not far behind.

    I noticed (since I work in Broadcast Radio – though my work is on our website(?!)) that the International Star Registry is back on ABC (our news network).
    Well, guess scammers need to make money somehow.

    J/P=?

  9. zeb

    I could do that too…I just don’t wanna…

  10. J. D. Mack

    A new universe, eh? So that’s what all those orbs are! So much for the “ghost” hypothesis! : )

    J. D.

  11. Kevin Conod

    The real story re: Fermilab is that the latest federal budget contains nearly a $100 million cut to High Energy Physics, which means layoffs and cancellation of research projects. :-(

  12. Tim G

    I hope the new universe turns out just like our own except that all love is
    eternal.

  13. Davidlpf

    I for one welcome our new overlords from the new universe.

  14. BolingbrookPete

    As a proud resident of Bolingbrook, Illinois (and only a couple of miles away from the now famous Clow Internation Airport [scratch that – Clow UFO base]), I have to correct you in regards to the spelling of this now internationally famous village. For the record, just one ‘L’.

    On a side note, the next time you’re here to accept an honor for being such a kick-ass scientist, please stop by for a couple of refreshments at my bar. I believe even Rebecca would approve of the inventory of spirits available here.

  15. DennyMo

    Anybody else reminded of a certain Futurama episode featuring infinite nested boxes?

  16. Mister Earl

    Just wanted to point out this excerpt:

    “Only the Wheaton Unitarian Church seemed to be excited by the event.

    “Now our members have the option to worship the mad scientist who created our universe.” Said Reverend Melissa Jackson.”

    Heh. The Wheaton Unitarian Church?

  17. It was like that when I got here, I swear.

  18. Crux Australis

    Wow, that was such a cool episode of Futurama! I liked the Simpsons episode in which Homer invents a time machine, changes something in the time of the dinosaurs (ever read “The Sound Of Thunder”?) and returns to his own time to find his family changed in various ways.

  19. Clair

    You’re supposed to laugh because it’s funny!

    I loved that episode of Futurama.

NEW ON DISCOVER
OPEN
CITIZEN SCIENCE
ADVERTISEMENT

Discover's Newsletter

Sign up to get the latest science news delivered weekly right to your inbox!

ADVERTISEMENT

See More

ADVERTISEMENT
Collapse bottom bar
+

Login to your Account

X
E-mail address:
Password:
Remember me
Forgot your password?
No problem. Click here to have it e-mailed to you.

Not Registered Yet?

Register now for FREE. Registration only takes a few minutes to complete. Register now »