Aliens build a galaxy!

By Phil Plait | February 26, 2008 1:00 pm

Back in 2004, European astronomers announced evidence of a tremendously distant galaxy, discovered only because its light was magnified and brightened by a gravitational lens. If this pans out (it appears that it’s still unconfirmed) it would be the most distant galaxy ever detected, a numbing 13.2 billion light years away.

Being rational, I didn’t realize is how much cooler this news really is: it’s actually evidence of a vast alien civilization artificially engineering galaxies!

I have no idea how I missed this.

I mean, it’s so obvious:

Intervention was needed by the Type IV civilization that created the big bang in their massive inter-universe particle colliders. The big bang created a black hole in the hyperspace – our universe with three spatial dimensions and a forward moving single time dimension. According to scientists this was the start of ‘dark ages’ that was eventually corrected through the intervention of the Type IV civilization.

Hmmm, "according to scientists", it says. I’m really sorry the article didn’t give their names. I sure would like to talk with them! C’mon, if they know about black holes in hyperspace then I would love to chat with them over a few drinks. Or a few hundred, maybe. After reading that whole article I doubt I have many brain cells left to kill anyway.

Tip o’ the tin foil beanie to Fark and the dozen or two BABloggees who sent this to me.

CATEGORIZED UNDER: Antiscience, Humor, Science, Skepticism

Comments (39)

Links to this Post

  1. Astronomy Pictures - Images of moon | February 26, 2008
  1. Chip

    “…According to scientists this was the start of ‘dark ages’ that was eventually corrected through the intervention of the Type IV civilization…”

    So its all political after all. The early Universe just after the “big bang” was co-opted by a clique of conservative business interests for its oil, plunging it into a stagnant dark age but later a progressive civilization of type IV liberals were able to wrestle it away and launch it into a forward thinking realm of three spacial dimensions. Except for a few minor stagnant areas that occasionally crop up in American political parties.

  2. 13.2 billion years *ago* is not 13.2 billion light years away. Co-moving co-ordinates and all.

  3. Michelle

    “Type IV civilization that created the big bang in their massive inter-universe particle colliders”

    …I think I’m not bright (read: crazy) enough to understand what the hell they’re talking about.

  4. Greg

    Makes perfect sense to me.

  5. yy2bggggs

    You’re making fun of it, but I really don’t see the problem here. The galaxy was too complex, and created too soon, to be of natural origin, so it is therefore evidence of intelligent design.

    I mean, this is just a straightforward application of ID science, right? And you said ID didn’t make predictions.

    (Might I point out again, I am not making fun of this).

  6. Looking further around the Indian website you also find articles on “many micro level UFOs and Unidentified Submerged Objects (USOs) that hover our atmosphere and under ocean water of extraterrestrial origin. These micro UFOs and USOs forms the basis of collecting information on our earth for the advanced extraterrestrial civilizations.” Phil, I start to wonder about your sources …

  7. SF Reader

    Gee, no proclamations that all brown dwarfs are Dyson spheres?

  8. wisnij

    Pretty much every article listed at is hilarious for one reason or another.

  9. Ian

    I can’t tell whether they seriously believe this stuff or they’re just trying to make scientists look like morons…

  10. L Yeomans

    1630 hrs EST 26 Feb 08
    I have always enjyed your Web postings, and nowdays your Blog.
    BUT– today the website has been running a “script” that “slows down” Internet Explorer very much. (A factor of 10 to 20 times !!!)
    I will have to stop coming to your Blog until this problem is removed.
    I will try every few days, for at least two weeks, before I give up permanently.
    Again– I think you have a VERY GOOD Blog– but this is a “showstopper” !!
    Lou Yeomans

  11. Tom Marking

    The Type IV being referred to appears to be on the Kardashev Scale:

    Type 1 – 1.0E16 watts
    Type 2 – 1.0E26 watts
    Type 3 – 1.0E36 watts
    Type 4 – 1.0E46 watts

    1.0E46 watts is only one type II supernova per second. C’mon guys. You can do better than that. You need at least a Type 6 civilization to create the universe.

  12. Why can’t the gravitational lens be of alien construction instead? And instead of pointing to a real galaxy, it’s pointing to a big TV set. Galaxy of Our Lives has been running for 13.2 billion seasons and counting and is watched in over 6,000 galactic clusters.

  13. H mapes

    Hmmm…maybe we can get some Scientologists to CLEAR this up.

  14. Michael Lonergan

    Home! That’s my home! I always wondered where I was from, now I know.

  15. Jeffersonian

    @L Yeomans-
    Not sure everyone’s experiencing this problem; makes me think the problems is on your end either at your server or on your client.
    Issues to check:
    -first and foremost, go get Firefox or Opera; likely problem solved
    -problem at your server
    -problem at your firewall
    -compatability problem with your OS/hardware
    -script virus! Download spybot or equivalent
    Maybe not, but possible!

  16. ioresult

    Why belittle such an amazing discovery with petty squabbles over an obvious prank?

  17. RobertW

    Interesting! This guy is gets around.

    Each of our authors got a photocopied letter from him after our Nature paper on GRB041219a. We had some real laughs over it when we got it.

    And heads up Phil! His return address is near us in Denver!!!!

  18. At least I hope they *DO* have flying cars; here we’ve been tricked by scientist :-(

  19. Davidlpf

    (shaking head)
    amazed the electric universe guys are not here claiming it was plasma electric fields making such an advance galaxy so early.

  20. CJArmstrong

    Actually it was plasma electric fields that were employed to create…

    …oh, right…Davidlpf beat me to it. 😉

  21. LarrySDonald

    My immediate thought was that “Contact” was ment as fiction.

  22. Zacfunk

    As much as the article is tripe, you can’t deny that Asimov’s short story “The Last Question” is still a good one.

  23. antaresrichard

    When you’ve just tweaked yourself a universe, it’s time to break out the Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters. Forget the lemon slice! Real mice do without it.

  24. And in this other galaxy, alien astronomers are looking in their telescopes and saying, “Hey, there’s a galaxy located 13.2 billion light years from us that looks like it was intelligently designed by a Type IV civilization.”

  25. trebuchet

    antaresrichard: “As much as the article is tripe, you can’t deny that Asimov’s short story “The Last Question” is still a good one.”

    It’s probably my all time favorite. Pretty old, though. I wonder how many others around here have read it. “And AC said….”

  26. Sergeant Zim

    Dr. Asimov said in an interview that “The Last Question” generated more mail (both posiive and negative) than all the rest of his work combined.

    You can imagine the tone and the sources of the negative mail he got…

    Heinlien released “Starship Troopers” and “Stranger in a Strange Land” in the same year. He got more negative mail over “ST” and more positive mail over “SiaSL” (mostly from ‘hippies’, some of whom would show up at his home, demanding to “share water” with him, uninvited) than all other work.

  27. Sergeant Zim

    On anothe note, I was wondering where the writers for the “Weakly Whirled Snooze” had gotten to after their paper went out of business – – now I know – they went to India.

  28. Quiet Desperation

    On anothe note, I was wondering where the writers for the “Weakly Whirled Snooze” had gotten to after their paper went out of busines

    Some appear to have gone to the New York Times. 😉 Honestly, what happened to that paper?

  29. Regner Trampedach

    Great fun, Phil!
    It seems, though, that everybody here misinterpreted the sentence
    “According to scientists this was the start of ‘dark ages’…” – which
    was most surely the intention of the “Indian Daily”‘s “journalists”.
    If you stop where my quote stops, they are very correct. The time
    just after the Big Bang was dark – lots of neutral gas which is efficient
    in blocking light. As the first stars came along, they ionized the gas
    around them and evetually these ionized bubbles merged and the
    Universe was transparent – just as it is today. That was the end of the
    dark age.
    Conclusion: They are not lying about what science has taught us, but
    there are employing spin, worthy of the White House.
    Cheers, Regner Trampedach

  30. Chip

    My informal newspaper survey:

    Most intelligent writing in USA – New York Times – especially the arts section. (Rush Limbaugh listeners and others lacking in critical thinking tend to hate it and can’t get past the editorial pages.) 😀

    Dullest in USA – Wall Street Journal.

    Most informative on Middle East news (according to Seymour Hersh) – Haaretz

    Among the best online –

    Possibly least amount of mistakes in science news for a non-scientific journal – Los Angeles Times and New York Times.

  31. GSC

    Hi people

    I read this daily but this is my first post at BAB so forgive me if i am doing anything wrong.
    I think the people that wrote the article might be referring to ideas and theories that are studied by Michio Kaku, is it ok to post a link?
    if so:
    I have read his book called “Parallel Worlds” and in the end of the book he writes about the type I to V civilizations and what they could do in terms of energy use, a type iV could use the energy of a galaxy and create “big bangs” and so on….nice read but take this read with a bit of opened mind : )
    Mr. bad astronomer i am sure would LOVE his ideas about science and god….but if you skip this “details” the book is pretty good read.
    Best regards from Lisbon

  32. Eric

    Ok, I am going to say that India Daily just has their own little World Weekly News section, and this article must have come from it. I mean the writing isn’t quite as good as the articles about BatBoy, but it is a start.

  33. themadlolscientist

    A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away……..

    @ Dan: What was the name of the guy who wanted to put fjords on Africa?

  34. Buzz Parsec

    Slartibartfast. Yes, really.

  35. sean d

    noooo I did it with my quantotempral transporter


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