Well, this certainly explains a lot.
“After impact with the satellite, these diverted prayers typically plummet back into the atmosphere, where they either burn up or eventually land, unanswered, in a body of water,” the report read in part.
Tip o’ the mitre to BABloggee Mike Murray.
If you went to BadAstronomy.com and found yourself here, never fear: the BA Blog has moved to its new home at Discover Blogs. The original BA site (with the Moon Hoax debunking and all that) is still online, too.
Phil Plait, the creator of Bad Astronomy, is an astronomer, lecturer, and author. After ten years working on Hubble Space Telescope and six more working on astronomy education, he struck out on his own as a writer. He has written two books, dozens of magazine articles, and 12 bazillion blog articles. He is a skeptic, and fights misuses of science as well as praising the wonder of real science.
Contact me: The Bad Astronomer "at" gmail "dot" com
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March 19th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
And all this time I thought it was just wishful thinking. Those evil satanic satellites are to blame. Ya have to love the Onion!
March 19th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
That’s quality stuff right there.
March 19th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
And to think, I’ve been advocating the space program for years!
March 19th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
ROFLMAO!!! I love The Onion! That was absolutely priceless.
I wrote this on my blog awhile back, in a similar vein.:
http://starbirdcanada.wordpress.com/2008/02/01/televangelists-unite-to-take-the-gospel-to-the-stars/
March 19th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
Am I the only one who read the title as ge-nude-flection instead of genu-deflection?
March 19th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Damn! I bet that was my request for “snow flakes”, not Bowflex”! It must have been lensed on its way to God and gotten garbled.
Rat farts!
March 19th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Actually, Paul, I pondered if that’s how people would read it, but it’s not what I meant at all. I was going for the straight pun, which I actually think is pretty funny.
March 19th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
For some reason I read it as Xenudeflection and thought, yoicks it’s coming back.
March 19th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
A lot of people start praying with “Heavenly Father, hear my prayers.” Does that itself count as one? If that is the 1 in 170 billion that gets through, and of course, God doesn’t receive the following prayers, does that cause a paradox? Will it cause complete reality failure? Oh, wait… “complete reality failure”… I think I have a new phrase to use on the theists.
RATIONAL THINKING: YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG! e_e;;
March 19th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
“43% eaten by birds” – priceless. Reminded me of the parables referring to birds and the “faith the size of a mustard seed.”
March 19th, 2008 at 10:57 pm
That’s all nonsense, a prayer would never make it past the Van Allen Radiation Belt.
March 19th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
Not to mention the Debbie Allen Radiation Belt — It’s a really hot look.
March 20th, 2008 at 1:21 am
I like your puns.
I didn’t get this one at first and thought that it was perhaps based on some highly intellectual concept.
Anyway, I had no idea that the stratosphere ended beyond some satellites
To help, I suppose someone could invent a prayer amplifier. It could be integrated into head gear that the faithful could wear all day.
March 20th, 2008 at 1:43 am
Actually, I have it on good authority* that God answers all prayers, but that the answer is usually “No.”
*Woodie Allen, I believe
March 20th, 2008 at 2:17 am
Wait! Instead of a Bow-flex, all I got was a cheesy Chuck Norris doll… well I guess he is close to Jesus and all… after all he did back the Huckmeister….
March 20th, 2008 at 6:35 am
Makes sense to me! A great report.
March 20th, 2008 at 6:46 am
Not addressed are prayers that fail because they’re made by non-prophet organizations . . .
March 20th, 2008 at 6:53 am
The genius IT Nazis at my employer, the Federal Aviation Administration, have determined that the Onion is not an appropriate website for me to view. They also blocked Hulu, the day after I first saw it on your site.
I need to retire so I can surf anywhere I want. This work stuff is getting old.
March 20th, 2008 at 7:08 am
“Am I the only one who read the title as ge-nude-flection instead of genu-deflection?”
Nope, I puzzled over that for a few minutes, too…
It’s amazing how many people read The Onion and either don’t get it or think it’s serious journalism.
March 20th, 2008 at 7:10 am
And here I thought it was lack of adequate concentration and a dogged wordliness. All this contributed to my poor self image. Now I can blame the lack of results on a scientifically documented fact. Thank you BA for helping me through this bad patch.
March 20th, 2008 at 7:29 am
“Itâ??s amazing how many people read The Onion and either donâ??t get it or think itâ??s serious journalism.”
Well, when you read what passes for “serious journalism” in the ‘regular’ news organizations (CNN, ABC, NBC, etc.(NOT Faux news)) it’s pretty easy to become confused.
BBC World Service is, IMHO, far above most American news orgs., as is *usually* NPR.
March 20th, 2008 at 8:57 am
Bwuahahahahaha!
March 20th, 2008 at 10:13 am
Another good site for religious parody is The Wittenburg Door. That is run by Christians but is totally lambasting the freak jobs of religion. They contributed the This Week In God segments on the Daily Show several years ago.
Oh, and I think I found your “Prayer Amplifier”:
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://img212.imageshack.us/img212/7720/tinfoilhat2cy2.jpg&imgrefurl=http://gwally.com/news/000778.php&h=450&w=600&sz=77&hl=en&start=1&sig2=eqcfeb7TISDLwgS9OjKwRg&tbnid=Iw98WmsrRIdx-M:&tbnh=101&tbnw=135&ei=8YziR8OMKImWgAPD86nLAQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dtin%2Bfoil%2Bhat%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DG
March 20th, 2008 at 10:14 am
Woah! Don’t know what happened with that last post… sorry!
March 20th, 2008 at 10:27 am
I tried to post a link to a pic of a “Prayer Amplifier” (tin foil hat) but it went weird. Anyway, another good religious parody site is the Witenburg Door. It’s actually a Christian site that lambastes the whackos out there. They contributed to the “This Week in God” segments of the Daily Show a few years ago.
March 20th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
That’s why when I pray, I also send a cc. That way the odds are that at least one copy will get through. I used to send a bcc, but then I got worried God might not know who it was from.
@ Angel: Here’s a wacky idea: Reserve your computer at work for, like, doing actual work, and visit The Onion when you get home.
I guess now we know why the FAA neglected to inspect all those Southwest planes.
March 20th, 2008 at 7:02 pm
@ Angel, or you could go to a site that allows anonymous searching. Oh, they’re probably blocked too… LOL
March 21st, 2008 at 10:42 am
Parodies are fun, but they can also be straw man arguments. This one certainly is. Do you guys really think that Christians believe Heaven is locally “up?”
I believe God hears all prayers. And, as whoever said, sometimes the answer is “No.” A prayer isn’t a magic spell. It’s a request that can be turned down. The greatest petitioner of all, Jesus Christ, prayed to his father in the garden of Gethsemane that he might not have to be crucified, and he did not get what he wanted.
March 22nd, 2008 at 5:46 am
Just wait until the religious idiots read this stuff – they will immediately call their representative in congress to get NASAs funding withdrawn.