Man that was a completley whacked out article.

I am Ubik. [...] They go as I say, they do as I tell them.

U r Ubik’s Cube, movz laik that?

Which brings up the question – what does the product do if PZ picks up a British accent?

I’m sticking with Ubik (TM):

Perk up pouting household surfaces with new miracle Ubik, the easy-to-apply, extra-shiny, non-stick plastic coating. Entirely harmless if used as directed. Saves endless scrubbing, glides you right out of the kitchen.

But what is Ubik? I hear you ask…

I am Ubik. Before the universe was, I am. I made the suns. I made the worlds. I created the lives and the places they inhabit; I move them here,

I put them there. They go as I say, they do as I tell them. I am the word and my name is never spoken, the name which no one knows. I am called Ubik, but that is not my name. I am. I shall always be.

Btw, you might want to load up with squid repellent:

The sharp beak of the Humboldt squid is one of the hardest and stiffest organic materials known. Engineers, biologists, and marine scientists at the University of California, Santa Barbara, have joined forces to discover how the soft, gelatinous squid can operate its knife-like beak without tearing itself to pieces. [...]

The key to the squid beak lies in the gradations of stiffness. The tip is extremely stiff, yet the base is 100 times more compliant, allowing it to blend with surrounding tissue. [...]

“Squids can be aggressive, whimsical, suddenly mean, and they are always hungry,”

Yep, that’s PZ to a z.

That’s a pretty amusing site. Then I went back and read the first comic and my brain broke. Still funny though…