I just got home from the AAS meeting, and I’m exhausted. I’ll tell you why tomorrow (hint: dancing with astronomers until 2:00 a.m.), but to keep you happy until then, I give you the smiley grape.
For some reason, no one has claimed that it’s Jesus smiling. Maybe Jesus hated grapes. That would explain why he didn’t turn water into Welch’s.
Hat tip to Buzzfeed, which claims this image came from frostdesign, though I cannot find it there.
If you went to BadAstronomy.com and found yourself here, never fear: the BA Blog has moved to its new home at Discover Blogs. The original BA site (with the Moon Hoax debunking and all that) is still online, too.
Phil Plait, the creator of Bad Astronomy, is an astronomer, lecturer, and author. After ten years working on Hubble Space Telescope and six more working on astronomy education, he struck out on his own as a writer. He has written two books, dozens of magazine articles, and 12 bazillion blog articles. He is a skeptic, and fights misuses of science as well as praising the wonder of real science.
Contact me: The Bad Astronomer "at" gmail "dot" com
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June 5th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
it’s actually from cuteoverload.com (specifically here:
http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2008/06/oh-a-bonche-of.html )
which comes from meg frost, of frostdesign.
June 5th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Well, my dog took a rather solid-challenged dump on the cool decking that looked like a smiley face. I think she’s trying to tell me something, but I don’t speak collie so I might as well ignore her and dig up the affected chuck to sell on craigslist as the cartoon excrement jesus!
June 5th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Pssst, wine is made of grapes too, Phil!
June 5th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
“For some reason, no one has claimed that it’s Jesus smiling. Maybe Jesus hated grapes. That would explain why he didn’t turn water into Welch’s”\
perhaps its smiling cuase it know its not going to be juiced, think anout it, what a way to go — squish =
June 5th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
Not Jesus, but Ziggy.
June 5th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Hmmmm, yeah. That joke didn’t turn out the way I wanted. I forgot to add that wine has to be fermented, which is mean to grapes. Oh well. Like I said, no sleep last night.
June 5th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
I think it looks like Buddha.
I’m gonna eat some grapes and see if I reach enlightenment.
June 5th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
To know that people find hope and peace in food is such a beautiful thing. :’)
Praise the Lord!
June 5th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
As long it is not a grape of wrath.
June 5th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Actually, it kinda looks like Charlie Brown.
June 5th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Heh! All it would take is a bit of fungus to grow where a beard might be and some people would be undertaking pilgrimages.
June 5th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
I would just like to say “image diVine” was a GREAT pun.
June 5th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
You laugh now but on the planet Twighlow a single seedless grape is worth the GNP of the USA for the last 30 years!
(A single drop of Welches is enough to power a Zorgon Star Cruiser 10 light years and 93% of light speed, and the Humans just drink it!)
June 5th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
The joke about grape juice may be related to the notion, popular among some evangelicals groups, that the wine mentioned in the New Testament was non-alcoholic. The logic seems to be that, since drinking is a sin, and Jesus was without sin, that such wine must therefore have been merely grape juice.
June 5th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
This was good http://i30.tinypic.com/33o1507.jpg
June 5th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
@bad Jim – talk about circular reasoning, eh?
June 5th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
how much more proof do you people need ???
dog exists he now brands his grapes hellilujah.
June 5th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
Jesus hated figs, not grapes. He once cursed a fig tree and it shriveled up.
June 5th, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Not sure if this is old news, but this site linked to over at Reduced Mass is simply incredible:
http://www.alienearths.org/glimpse/
June 5th, 2008 at 11:55 pm
Jesus didn’t turn water into wine. He turned it into Tunguska Blast, but no one understood what that was, so he just called it wine.
June 6th, 2008 at 12:05 am
Hahahahaha, amazing.
June 6th, 2008 at 12:12 am
Nice one, Colin.
Perhaps it wasn’t Jesus that appeared on the grape but Forrest Gump.
June 6th, 2008 at 12:18 am
You gotta submit that to Cute Overload or LOLCats.
HAPPI GRAPE IZ IN YER BUNCH, SPREDIN THE CHEER.
June 6th, 2008 at 2:49 am
Damn, I hope the party was at least as good at the one at Six in Austin! (Speaking of which, I think Phil you still owes some pics on the fb group page…) Gina so knows how to throw the best parties.
June 6th, 2008 at 4:42 am
If astronomers were dancing until 2 AM I can conclude that the sky was cloudy . . .
June 6th, 2008 at 5:12 am
“For some reason, no one has claimed that it’s Jesus smiling.”
That’s because it’s Mohammed. But no-one wanted to say anything…
(Okay, I’m going straight to hell for that one)
June 6th, 2008 at 5:12 am
What Ronn said.
June 6th, 2008 at 5:48 am
Welch’s was a particularly good choice of brand name, as Dr. Welch himself was a teetotaling Christian looking to make non-alcoholic “wine” for communion services:
from http://www.ohiosbdc-ysu.com/Location/Guide/Oscar_Mayer/Wrigley/Welch_s/welch_s.html :
“A devout Christian and staunch prohibitionist, Dr. Thomas B. Welch did not like wine being used in his church’s communion service. In 1869 he decided to try developing a non-alcoholic substitution.”
Turns out that the Dr. Welch’s Unfermented Wine product never caught on, but his son eventually marketed the grape juice as “grape juice” and the rest is history.
June 6th, 2008 at 6:46 am
It’s not Jesus. Jesus doesn’t smile, because he knows how wicked you’ve been. Yes, you. You’ve been a naughty little monkey, haven’t you? You made Jesus sad.
My wife puts wine in the pasta sauce, so I *know* why the grape is happy.
June 6th, 2008 at 7:02 am
The suggestive leer, the inviting wink: That’s obviously Mary. You can knock her up behind the hut, and she’ll say God did it.
June 6th, 2008 at 7:04 am
Is it a sour grape?
June 6th, 2008 at 7:12 am
Phil,
All your mockery of Christ (not just christians you have a prob with anymore, now it appears you’re graduating and moving on to bashing/making fun of christ himself), you do realize your anti-christ persona is rather unbecoming.
Dr. Who would be ashamed– ;^|
June 6th, 2008 at 7:49 am
OT, but McCain was in central Florida yesterday and is promising to extend the life of the Shuttle program past 2010.
Sentator: Space Goals Unclear
June 6th, 2008 at 8:14 am
Blu-Ray-Ven:
Either you karate do “yes” or karate do “no.” You karate do “guess so,” …
June 6th, 2008 at 8:16 am
Bad Jim said:
Er … is drinking one of the seven deadly sins, or one of the ten commandments…?
Let’s see … Wrath, Pride, Lust, Envy, Sloth, Gluttony… oh, darnit I forgot the seventh. Dopey! That was it.
Hmmm, I don’t recall a “thou shan’t get bladdered of a Saturday night” in the ten commandments either.
In all seriousness, though, the reasoning you quote is plain bonkers. Around the 1st century CE, it was actually safer to drink wine than to drink water. Which is one of the reasons that trappist monks all across northern Europe became so adept at brewing beer.
June 6th, 2008 at 8:22 am
dr who fan,
How could anyone mock the notion of a god who has Himself horribly murdered in order to save his own creation from His own divine wrath?
June 6th, 2008 at 9:04 am
Paridolia isn’t limited to Xcians…
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/custom/religion/chi-skokie-bark-05-jun05,0,559022.story
June 6th, 2008 at 10:26 am
“Actually, it kinda looks like Charlie Brown.”
Actually, it kinda looks like a very skeptical Charlie Brown.
O RLY???
June 6th, 2008 at 10:35 am
BA, making such a statement about Jesus only shows your intolerance, not theirs. It’s one thing to rebut statements made you disagree with. But your statement here is down right hate insulting and only serves to downgrade the quality of this site.
Ass for Bad Jim’s statement, the falacy there is that drinking is a sin. This isn’t in the bible. What would could be interpreted as a sin is to be “drunk with wine.” And even then it isn’t mentioned outright to my study of scripture. It’s only used in the context of “do not be drunk with wine, but be filled with the spirit.”
June 6th, 2008 at 11:15 am
Matt,
At a time when Christian fundamentalist are trying to take over our government and schools, tolerance is hardly called for. Fighting back is definitely called for.
June 6th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Dancing with astronomers untill 2AM? You mean there were that many women-astronomers there – and does your wife know about the debauchery? Or, were you dancing with men-astronomers becasue of a lack of women-astronomers?
I’ve seen some of the women-astromomers on various Discovery Channel programs and I’d dance with any of them. On second thought, I’d dance with all of’em.
You lucky dog…
June 6th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Not to mention the Church has made major contributions to beer and wine over the centuries.
Dom Pérignon, anyone? An advocate of Pinot Noir three centuries before the movie Sideways.
June 6th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Matt, as usual, you have grossly misinterpreted what I wrote. Where am I intolerant? Oh right: I’m intolerant of people who look at every blurry thing and claim it’s Jesus or Mary. Other than that, I’m making a joke. Where in that literal interpretation of the Bible of yours does it prohibit you from having a sense of humor?
June 6th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Or Dom Perignon without the accents that BA’s software seems unable to cope with.
June 6th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Well, the general prohibition against having fun tends to lead to a complete lack of humor as a consequence.
So, it’s more of a side effect rather than a rule.
I just watched the documentary “Jesus Camp” where they were telling kids that Harry Potter, if he had been in the Bible, would have been put to death for being a warlock. Wheeeeee! Fun! :-\
June 6th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Yes, gibsy. Nice of you to note that in every single blog entry Phil makes. I think we can assume it from now on…
June 6th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Lighten up, Matt, said the Baptist preacher’s Kid. One of the major signs of a severe case of bad religion is not being able to take a joke about it.
Whoever’s using the haddock, can I have it next? Somebody needs to be fish-slapped.
June 6th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
BA,
You should have a closer look at the Bible. Read the story in its full context and you would know that Jesus DID turn the water into grape juice, not fermented wine.
The greek word translated “wine” is “oinos” (sp?) This word can mean either fermented OR unfermented grape juice. The percise meaning must be determined from the context. This event happened at a wedding celebration. To the Jews of the time, a wedding feast was considered a holy feast, and as such, fermented drink was forbidden, since fermentation is used in the Bible as a symbol of sin. Therefore is Jesus had turned the water into fermented drink, there would have been an uproar. Since there was not, it must have been unfermented grape juice.
June 6th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
But that’s stuff reportedly nasty. He wouldn’t have been lauded as a messiah; he would’ve been run out of town as a demon or warlock or something… then again, it’d make Golgotha make a whole lot more sense.
“What? We have to choose between Barabbas and that Jesus guy who turned that perfectly good water at that wedding into Tunguska Blast?”
“Yeah, that wedding was ruined. Two young people’s lives just completely getting off on the wrong foot already! This cannot stand!”
As for Matt…
God the Father sends God the Son, who is Himself, down to Earth to live, suffer, and die to save the humanity made in His image from the sins they committed in a universe He allowed sin to exist in (and, as He created everything, He created sin) and thus saved them from His eternal wrath through what can best be described as a sociologically implemented extroverted suicide-by-cop.
Assuming everything to work exactly as I was told it did in Bible school, God really needs to have one hell of a sense of humor just to live with Himself (although it could quite possibly be a very low sense of humor).
June 6th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
You are obsessed BA ;p ha
June 6th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Sorta looks like the Kool-Aid Man to me. Would that be classified as a “religious” appearance? Hmmm…perhaps only if it came smashing through a wall and yelled, “Oh yeah!!”
June 7th, 2008 at 2:07 am
Yeh religulous new Bill Maher move
http://www.apple.com/trailers/lions_gate/religulous/
June 7th, 2008 at 10:40 am
ozprof, you might want to remember that not one of the Gospels is from an actual eyewitness account. So assuming ANYTHING in them is necessarily accurate is foolish at best.
September 5th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
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