When I worked at NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center, I was always aware it was a government facility. They check ID when you enter, you have to wear a badge, there were rules for dealing with civil servants (I was a private contractor, so I couldn’t pay for a civil servant’s lunch, for example, which was weird because these were my friends and colleagues). When the Center renovated the building we joked that they were going to install drug detectors in the urinals (like in the movie "Robocop")…
… but the joke is now on the folks at Johnson Space Center in Houston. NASA wants their urine! It’s not for drug testing, though (that’s a relief!). Pee is a bit of a problem on long-duration space flights (or on the surface of the Moon). It needs to be recycled as much as possible; water is very heavy and difficult to transport. Eventually, too, the stored up urine needs to be dumped somehow. It contains solids and dissolved minerals that can, um, gum up the works of the machinery that processes it. Now that NASA is committed to going back to the Moon, more work needs to be done in this area, new devices designed and tested.
NASA could make their own simulated liquid waste to do this, of course, but that struck the engineers there as silly, given that this is one thing pretty much anyone can make at home.
So they put out a call. For pee.
They need a lot: 30 liters a day! That’s quite a data stream. Employees can volunteer to do the cup thing and donate their used drinks to NASA and to the future exploration of the Moon. If I worked there I’d do it; it’s not a big deal, just a wee effort. It’s also the patriotic thing to do — think of it as discharging your duties — and what other chances do you get to say that you literally contributed to space exploration?
Besides, I was always something of a whiz kid.
July 16th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
*sighs*
And now I have to pee.
*fidgets*
July 16th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Couldn’t they just put a bucket in each washroom marked “Donations”. Or better yet hold a beerfest Friday, then you can fill a few barrels.
July 16th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Hmmm… You could say that you take your future in your hands, but I don’t remember any urinal drug detectors in Robocop 1 or 2. Could it be that you have lowered yourself to quote stuff from Robocop 3 or ~shiver~ the TV-series?
July 16th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
The puns! It hurts! So many jokes!!! Can’t… Keep… Up.
…Whew, I have to go pee. Just give them all some good tea, they’ll be productive in no time.
July 16th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Aw man, you missed the obvious Apollo 13 “constellation urion” joke.
July 16th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Honorable discharge, indeed.
July 16th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Oh, the puns! They burn! Phil, can’t you give us some relief from them? Such affronts on good humor; you’re in trouble! Just shake it off. (and I better stop there)
July 16th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Did Hal Bidlack help you with those puns?
July 16th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Um, Tim, did you catch the title of this post?
July 16th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Thomas Siefert — nope, it was Robocop. When the ladder-climbing exec was in the restroom bragging on how he was going to oust the old man, there were running LED displays over the urinals with the contents of the waste product.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
I’ll have to dig out the DVD, I never noticed that.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
You guys are more fun than a barrel of monkeys.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
NASA Watch and SpaceRef actually broke this story yesterday - why don’t you link to the original story?
“Don’t Flush - Donate To Space Exploration!”
http://www.nasawatch.com/archives/2008/07/dont_flush_dona.html
and
http://www.spaceref.com/news/viewsr.html?pid=28611
July 16th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Faithful reader: I didn’t know about those links, so I didn’t use them.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Here’s an extra special nugget for you:
The unofficial “urine drive” was supposed to be an internal memo, according to my undisclosed source, and NASA really doesn’t want the public donating their pee-pee…
But touche, NASA, because that memo said visitors are welcome to contribute in the name of science
July 16th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Oh sure, Phil, but you’re referring to Project Orion. Apollo 13’s just so near and dear to my heart is all.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Maybe you can update your post so that others can go directly to the topic of the story that AP wrote about? That is the point of what you always try to do, yes?
Pardon me while I drink lots of water so I can contribute on the way home.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
reminds of the old joke: if you’re an American when you go into the bathroom and you’re an American when you come out, what are you while you’re in the bathroom?
European!
July 16th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Phil said: Faithful reader: I didn’t know about those links, so I didn’t use them.
HAH! Since when is ignorance of the existence of relevant reference an acceptible excuse for not using them?? Er… or something like that…
Phil, all I can say in response to that post, as an homage to my Boston roots… that was wicked Pissah!
July 16th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
What’s mine is urine.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
This is not a new thing. Back when they were designing the space station toilets in order to test its capacity employees were enlisted to use the toilets over the course of the work day (I think it was urine only). This had the unfortunate provision that they could not relieve themselves in the morning until they got to work.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
@Celtic_Evolution - does NASA take donations from offsite? Maybe you could host a Boston Pee Party …
July 16th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Hmmm… good suggestion, faithful reader… I’ll tinkle on it…
July 16th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Plunked the DVD in the drive, looks more like a stock market ticker to me.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
If the guys at nasa need some movitation to do their duty a can supply a video a babbling brook.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
You might have invented something there, Arthur C. Clarke has the geostationary orbit named after him and you could have an… ahem let’s not go there…
July 16th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
You guys are terrible, just terrible. :p
July 16th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
I just had an idea, urine could be used as a rocket fuel in space. Ion Drive and Variable Specific Impulse Magnetoplasma Rocket (VASIMR).
Anyone would like to calculate the specific impulse using urine compounds and hydrogen? LOL
July 16th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
You guys are terrible, just terrible. :p
No way! I disagree… I think we rock…
In fact I dare say… wait for it…
We’re No. 1!!!
July 16th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
This astronaut went wee wee wee all the way to the moon.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
In the words of JFK… “Ask not how your country can pee for you, but how you can pee for your country…”
July 16th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Who knew, urine could be used to travel at 40% the speed of light. That might make us Number 1.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Michael L…
thanks for that last one… now I just pee’d myself.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Oh, is there a way wee Canadians can send our pee to NASA?
July 16th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
If they ever decide they need #2, I guess they could always go to Congress for that…
July 16th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Well since you are obviously a lover of puns Phil, and this is not the first time you have taken there, you should join a Skeptic Friends Network chat night. There is almost always a punning series.
I just hope you remembered to wash your hands after this posting
July 16th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
I just hope you remembered to wash your hands after this posting
Wait… i thought that was just for employees… darnitall…
*runs back to the sink*
July 16th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Michael L -
No. But regular-sized Canandians probably can.
Oh … wait … I get it.
July 16th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
This is one small pee for man,
One giant pee for mankind.
July 16th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Actually on Walking on the Moon on discovery Buzz admitted while on the ladder he filled his urine bag claiming that was his first thing one the moon.
July 16th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
@Davidlpf:
Probably due to the excitement.
July 16th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Dam*it Jim, I’m a general practitioner kind of doctor, not a urologist!
Houston, wee have a wee problem.
July 16th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Apparently everyone at NASA now has the right stuff.
July 16th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Maybe there’s a place for the “Diapered Astronaut” Lisa Nowak at NASA after all?
July 16th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
I love how the Nasa Watch article includes a picture from 2001 showing the Zero Gravity Toilet instructions.
July 16th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Phil! I haven’t seen this many bad puns in quite a long time! Touché! I was desperately trying to think of one to put in here, but my brain is flushed at this time of night (seems like I got a bad one in after all)
July 16th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
What do you expect from a blog author with the initials “P.P.” …
I’ll make sure the story gets LEAKED up here in western Canada.
July 16th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
The pee pee of PP.
July 16th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Oops. Should have updated. Sorry Bruce, I didn’t mean to take away from your almighty-ness.
July 16th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
What a flood of puns.
July 16th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Davidlpf:
It’s “wetted” my appetite for more.
July 16th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
I guess you have a great thrist for them.
July 16th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
If they could reverse engineer the aliens’ toilets from the Roswell craft, that would be great. I think they store it at Urea 51.
Umair is right, though, there’s a lot of hydrogen in urine, aside from the water. Using it as a propellant could really put the P in JPL.
There once was a man named Sundstrand
Who’s waste recycling was well in hand.
He got thirty litres
From all of his pee-rs
And invented the Sundstrand space-can.
Potty humour, thou art highbrow.
Actually, they should just set up a drop point at a nearby truck stop. Truckers tend to not take pit stops and they just pee in bottles and jugs. It’s become a bad litter problem along some roads.
July 16th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Did you hear about the 2 new constellations scientists just discovered? Urea Major, and Urea Minor.
July 16th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
I pee for beer!
July 16th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
IP. UP. We all P for PU.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Oh hey, and let’s not forget the great state of Mississipee, and the Mississipee River - that’s quite a stream you got flowing there.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
I’m sure most JSC employees will go with the flow, and alleviate the backlog of experimental need. . . .
and because I can’t resist.
Urine the money! Urine the Money… you got a lot of what it takes to get along!
July 16th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
You don’t need smelly buckets or bottles.
Why not use the waterless urinals and collect the product. I know Americans from the non-dry states think you need 10 gallons to flash away a few salts, but anyway …
July 16th, 2008 at 11:40 pm
Finally that guy from the Monty Python skit can stop bugging the good people at the blood bank now that he has a valid place the make the contribution he’s always wanted.
July 17th, 2008 at 1:08 am
I can’t believe you put that many pee jokes into that post!
July 17th, 2008 at 2:18 am
Phil, I’m disapointed. You had a chance to blend government and urine into a pun, and you failed to title the entry, “Oh, say can you pee?”
Still, data stream…very creative.
July 17th, 2008 at 2:48 am
Finally, an excuse to FedEx my urine without receiving a restraining order!
July 17th, 2008 at 4:16 am
Will this stop the space programme going down the drain?
July 17th, 2008 at 5:21 am
It’s just a flush in the pan…
July 17th, 2008 at 6:01 am
You lot are taking the p*%s.
July 17th, 2008 at 8:06 am
Very punny…
July 17th, 2008 at 8:44 am
So, serious question, here. Do you think that the hydration level of the donors will affect the results? Pee from a well-hydrated individual differs a fair bit from pee of a person suffering from minor dehydration. Could the difference have an effect on the utilities?
July 17th, 2008 at 9:33 am
I was there when they had to collect urine for a month to feed their water filtering experiment during the 90-day Lunar-Mars Life Support Test. Folks at JSC Bldg 7 gave daily to a very large jug. After a month of this, the smell was awful and the funnel was looking really weird. But hey, we showed that microbes can be used to clean pee…we just weren’t sure if it would work in zero G.
July 17th, 2008 at 10:02 am
I had a friend that was a computer software engineer, and he used to work for SPAR Aerospace. They did a retrofit of the Canadian Forces Hercules. He worked on the software, but he frequently had to go aboard the aircraft. He said the part of the aircraft that needed the most work was the area around the toilet because the urine that had splashed had caused major metal fatigue. So, hopefully the Astronauts “aim to please”, or there could be trouble.
July 17th, 2008 at 10:04 am
30…litres…a day
Man do they really need to do alot of testing!
Also, with all that urine being carried about in small plastic containers I really, really hope there are no err, confusion, incidents.
Good time to quit drinking apple juice folks!
July 17th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
You should change your name to “Ernest Scribbler,” the hack writer. Did you use all the bad jokes/puns connected with pee? If not, you sure tried. You certainly didn’t water down the attempt in the blog. Keep up the good work.