Tales of DragonCon: Scalzification

By Phil Plait | September 5, 2008 2:00 pm

Having a mancrush on Wil Wheaton has its advantages. I won’t enumerate them — read his blog, and then you’re on your own — but one is that he has good taste in writers, and that rubs off. Every now and again he’ll mention John Scalzi, a science fiction writer and blogger. It got to the point where I figured, why not? So I clicked the link to Scalzi’s blog. I’ve never looked back. Scalzi is my kind of people.

Scalzi wrote the Old Man’s War series. His blog, Whatever, just won the Hugo, the Oscar of scifi.
He writes funny short stories. Scalzi is semi-evil (in a good way), and engaging, and all-around cool.

He also taped bacon to his cat. Yes, that John Scalzi. He’s an internet god.

So when I heard he was coming to DragonCon, I was pretty excited. I figured I might get a chance to actually meet him IRL, though honestly, the odds were not 100%. The con is vast, dark, and deep, and it can be hard to actually meet up.

Bacon jelly beans. Srsly.Still and all, it helps to be prepared. Richard and A were visiting me in Boulder before the con, and then all three of us were to wing to Atlanta for the fete. While they were here in Boulder, we visited the wonderful pedestrian mall. We cavorted and enjoyed ourselves, and A made it clear she wanted to visit the candy store. I’m glad we did, because they had awesome gelatto, but also because, purely by accident, I saw they had a bacon-shaped tin of bacon-flavored jelly beans.

Yes. I bought them in anticipation of being Scalded.

And also, just in case, I kept them with me in my dorky backpack for the whole con, just in hope of running into him.

So come Saturday at the con, and by happenstance I am between panels, talks, gigs, scheduled appearances, and needed attendances. A, Richard, and I are still hanging (this time with Pamela, too), and decide to hit one of the dealer rooms. You can guess where this is going. We pause for a moment to gather our breath between all the booths selling toys, trinkets, fake weapons, and swag. I look around, and realize I am standing literally in front of the table where one John Scalzi was signing copies of his book.


I look at him for a second in shock, then gather my wits enough to yell "Scalzi!" He looks up, takes a moment, and yells "Phil!"

<Sniff>. It was beautiful. I gave him the beans, and he laughed (they were destined to be part of a larger and more interesting story that Scalzi — perhaps wisely — has yet to divulge in full). We shot some pictures. We made faces. And then I left.

Sadly, that was it for my Scalzi encounter, but I assume in the future there will be more. How can I resist a man like this?

CATEGORIZED UNDER: Cool stuff, Humor, Pretty pictures, SciFi

Comments (16)

  1. eve

    re:. It was beautiful.

    hillarious! and cute

  2. BMcP

    The question I have is “where did you get that shirt?”

    Oh and is it possible for me to buy one too?

  3. It’s funny you should mention him, because I just got through reading the first three Old Man’s War books. So I have to just point out that everyone here needs to go read them right now! Seriously, go! Phil’s blog will still be around when you get back. ;P

  4. Andrew

    I forgot to ask you where you got that shirt.

    Where’d you get that shirt?

  5. Robert Krendik

    I also love heliocentrism

  6. A nice picture, but it lacks the necessary caption: “Though the wire between my fingers was so thin as to be invisible, it had the desired effect on the test subject once it was properly threaded through his brain.”

    Also: I’m in the middle of Scalzi’s Ghost Brigades right now. And the reason? Why, some generous person hinted that Phil had recommended “anything by Scalzi”…

  7. Bacon flavored Jelly Beans… pure evil

  8. Bobby3000


    Those books *are* good, though.

  9. Damn I want that shirt

    That and “Hanna is my bitch”

  10. Oh and I register my vote and approval for all things bacon.

  11. Do you love heliocentrism? I thought that the universe was a circulus cuius centrum est ubique, cuis circumferentia vero nusquam.

  12. DustPuppyOI


    Next time you can give Scalzi a Wake N’ Bacon Alarm Clock.

  13. LordMac

    or the Bacon Flavoured Vodka:


    is there anything that people won’t put Bacon into?

  14. Debs

    They have many things Bacon and other, lesser, assorted Meat-type products at Archie McPhee’s (http://mcphee.com/categories/meat.html) I personally like the “What Would Bacon Do?” Folder with Spinner…

  15. Eduardo J

    Didn’t care much for OMW, Ghost Brigades kicked ass though


Discover's Newsletter

Sign up to get the latest science news delivered weekly right to your inbox!


See More

Collapse bottom bar