Has the Earth been destroyed yet?

Worried that the LHC may have destroyed the Earth, and you missed it? Or that a giant asteroid impact on the other side of the planet may be sending a gigantic shock wave to crush you flat?

Worry no more, because now you can know! Just check the International Earth-Destruction Advisory Board. They’ll set you straight.

And if you wonder what other ways the Earth may end, they have an interesting list there, too. I cover more in my book, but this is a decent enough start.

Tip o’ the planetary defense system to Dariush Molavi.

October 15th, 2008 8:18 PM by Phil Plait in DeathfromtheSkies!, Humor | 28 comments | RSS feed | Trackback >

28 Responses to “Has the Earth been destroyed yet?”

  1. ccpetersen Says:

    I like the BYOO2 hint at the end…

    ;)

  2. Crudely Wrott Says:

    I knew something was different, but I just couldn’t pin it down.

    “Now I’m worried,
    No need to wonder
    Any more,
    ‘Bout the times to come.”*

    *Old Mississippi Blues tune.

  3. Davidlpf Says:

    Yeah, it is the Dave to ask for not me.

  4. Mark Hansen Says:

    But… what about your towel? Or are there spares in the refuges?

  5. IVAN3MAN Says:

    Dr. Phil Plait:

    [Worried] that a giant asteroid impact on the other side of the planet may be sending a gigantic shock wave to crush you flat?

    Well, you will be after watching this Japanese video:

  6. Larian LeQuella Says:

    Did everyone get the latest frequency update on the intergalactic thumb?

  7. Thomas Siefert Says:

    I cover more in my book, but this is a decent enough start.

    You wrote a book? :-)

  8. Crux Australis Says:

    Yeah, that’s right, Thomas. I guess you’ve been living on Mars. Under a rock. With your fingers in your ears. :-) Double points if you can tell me what TV show that’s from, and who said it.

  9. shane Says:

    IVAN3MAN, nice video mate. Thanks.

    *starts rummaging for pills*

  10. Mello C Says:

    I love qntm.org. It’s run by Sam Hughes, and all-around pretty good writer. The astonomyheads over here would probably like his epic science fiction stories. Asteroid McAlmont’s short and whimsical, the Ed series starts off flippant and hilarious and ends up at an epic scale, and his current project, Fine Structure, is nothing short of pure awesome.

  11. Reed Says:

    If you just need to quickly check whether the earth has been destroyed, you can use http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/ (not to be confused with the good for nothing splittists at http://www.hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com/ )

  12. Nigel Depledge Says:

    Heehee! Nice linky.

    Apparently, though, the Earth has already been destroyed and we’re all in denial.

  13. K9 is always right Says:

    Has the Earth been destroyed yet?

    Yes, ages ago - the whole universe was destroyed when the Master murdered the mathematical monks of Logopolis back when Tom Baker was the Doctor!;-)

    Oh & when Eccleston was the Doctor it was destroyed by the Sun but nobody saw it - not even Rose Tyler. ;-)

  14. carl Says:

    Nice to see the nod to Doctor Who: “ask for Other Dave”.

  15. Sili Says:

    Why does the voiceover on that video sound so damn cheery?

  16. PsyberDave Says:

    I had suspected that Earth was destroyed, but I didn’t want to say anything.

  17. D Brooks Says:

    The best part of tongue-in-cheek sites are the Google Ads - seeing what the algorithm thinks readers will be interested in buying. When I visited, document destruction services topped the list, although the Red Cross Store also had an ad for earthquake first aid.

  18. Siri Says:

    Interestingly, they say that a GRB will not put a dent on Earth. On the contrary, I remember reading on several occasions on BA site that a GRB directed to Earth will have catastrophic effects.

    Can someone set me straight on this?

    Siri.

  19. lucky Says:

    This site has a bunch of end of the world scenarios, most of which are very amusing:

    www.exitmundi.nl

  20. Stark Says:

    I love it when my favorite sites notice one another….

    Phil - try this is you haven’t already read it : http://qntm.org/?astronomer

    Sam Hughes is a gifted writer… and maths geek as well (officially even, he has the degree to prove it) , double points there.

  21. 15 manieren om een mini-zwart gat te gebruiken en Astroblogs Says:

    […] Woehahahaha…. Bron: Secret Technology + Bad Astronomy. […]

  22. Siguy Says:

    That is, in fact, one of my favorite websites. Serious scientific analysis combined with tongue in cheek humor. I’ve known about it for a while. Haven’t checked the Earth Advisory Board recently though-

    Oh my god…

  23. Mike Torr Says:

    That site is totally wonderful. So thorough! I’m looking forward to reading even more detail in DftS though. And on that topic -

    Original (UK) Amazon delivery estimate was yesterday. Today I get: “Dear Customer, We’re still trying to obtain…”
    :(

  24. IVAN3MAN Says:

    @ shane

    You’re welcome, mate. Are the pills working? :-)

  25. shane Says:

    Damned frustrating seeing all these “got mine” posts from happy American customers. The delivery boy currently swimming across the Pacific will just have swim damned faster.

  26. shane Says:

    IVAN3MAN, yep. Stopped the shaking. Good to know that the apocalypse comes with sultry voiced Japanese voiceover though.

  27. IVAN3MAN Says:

    @ shane

    Yeah, she is sultry. There were many versions of that video at various video hosting web-sites; some were poor quality, others had over-dramatic musical soundtracks or some other rubbish added. I had to do quite a bit of searching until I eventually found a high-quality video with the original Japanese soundtrack and English sub-titles. I provide nothing but the best for Bad Astronomy readers! ;)

  28. Nigel Depledge Says:

    Siri said:

    Interestingly, they say that a GRB will not put a dent on Earth. On the contrary, I remember reading on several occasions on BA site that a GRB directed to Earth will have catastrophic effects.

    Can someone set me straight on this?

    Obviously, we need to read Phil’s new book to get the full story, but my understanding is this…

    A nearby GRB would have no effect on the Earth at all. It will not alter its rotation, nor its revolution about Sol. Neither will it strip away the atmosphere (unless it’s really, really close!) or boil the oceans.

    However, a nearby GRB would likely kill pretty nearly every living thing on one half of the planet. (Deep ocean creatures are fairly safe, because the sheer depth of water makes a pretty good radiation shield, even against gamma rays. Also, anything that lives under rocks (and stays there) is likely to be spared the worst of the radiation, but may not be able to find anything to eat afterwards.)

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