Sucked into a black LOL

By Phil Plait | November 15, 2008 2:00 pm

I admit I like LOL Cats (and today is, after all, Caturday). They’re funny. And sometimes they’re scientific.

LOL Cat and a black hole

I don’t know if they steal gravity, but they certainly occupy space (right where you want sit). At least they heat it. Must be Hawking entropy.


Comments (44)

  1. Clearly, they are the true currency of the internet.

    Also, I miss my kitty. ;_;

  2. Adrian Lopez

    Schrödinger’s black hole?

  3. Torbjörn Larsson, OM

    Black Hole Cat –
    – makz grabity (shovz mess)
    – takz charge
    – ownz spin (wen dropd)

    Ah up, al propites ov “Cat Hair” theorim in evidnz.

  4. Adam Stein

    Apparently, black LOLs:

    — DO have hair and
    — at least one ear.

  5. Yeah, that one was in my inbox this morning. Thought of you when I saw it. Love LOLCats!

  6. IBY

    Black hole cats must give one million times more bad luck than the normal ones. ^_^

  7. Daniel

    Dang! I thought the LHC was down.

  8. The Jigsaw Man

    No, the same amount of bad luck, just in a much smaller space.

  9. Proof of a fuzzy event horizon! Nice accretion disk as well.

  10. Utakata

    …the fact that it almost makes a perfect circle is what intrigues me.

  11. Hawking entropy? I suppose that’s nicer than seeing a black hole Hawking up a Hairball…

  12. Wildride

    Warm and dry
    Steal the gravity
    Tired friend

    Black hole cat
    Won’t you come
    And lick away the rain

  13. Large Hadron Catlider
    Steelin’ ur sleeps.

  14. Dan

    Thats way to funny! haha

  15. …Heh heh heh. Click my name – it leads to the Livejournal lolscience comm *grin*

  16. Here’s more Death From The Skies on this Caturday:

  17. Click my name for another funny lolsciencecat.

  18. I can’t believe nobody has mentioned The Infinite Cat Project.

    Click on my name the link

  19. Re-posted from The Infinite Cat Project:

    How To Give a Cat A Pill

    Cradle cat as if holding a baby. Gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop in the pill.

    Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Repeat process.

    Retrieve cat from bedroom. Take new pill, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly. Force open the jaws and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

    Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees. Hold front and rear paws, force wooden ruler into mouth, drop pill down ruler.

    Retrieve cat from curtain rail and get another pill. Make note to repair curtains. Sweep up broken vase. Wrap cat in towel. Put pill in one end of drinking straw, force cat’s mouth open with pencil, and blow down straw.

    Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans. Drink one beer to take away taste of pill. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet.

    Retrieve cat from neighbour’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door on to neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

    Fetch screwdriver from garage and replace cupboard door. Drink another beer. Apply cold compress to cheek. Throw away T-shirt and fetch another from bedroom.

    Call fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree. Take last pill. Tie the cat’s front paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Fetch heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth, followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat.

    Get spouse to drive you to A & E. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call in at furniture shop on the way home to order new dining table.

    How to Give a Dog a Pill: Wrap it in bacon.

  20. Darth Robo

    Felis catus is your taxonomic nomenclature,
    An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature;
    Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses
    Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses.

    I find myself intrigued by your sub-vocal oscillations,
    A singular development of cat communications
    That obviates your basic hedonistic predilection
    For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection.

    A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents,
    You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance.
    And when not being utilized to aid in locomotion
    It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.

    Oh Spot, the complex levels of behavior you display
    Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array;
    And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend,
    I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.

    – Ode to Spot


  21. Darth Robo

    Okay, after that I defer to the Infinite Cat Project


  22. Darth Robo

    Black Hole Cat

    Stealin ALL your cheezburgers!

  23. Overdone…Maybe, But check out Simons Cat on Youtube

  24. I too have a fond weakness for the LOLcats. Being a cat person and all even. I am a servant to three of them in my household!

  25. Scott

    The Laws of Cat Physics

    Law of Cat Inertia
    A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

    Law of Cat Motion
    A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

    Law of Cat Magnetism
    All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

    Law of Cat Thermodynamics
    Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

    Law of Cat Stretching
    A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

    Law of Cat Sleeping
    All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as
    uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.

    Law of Cat Elongation
    A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top
    that has anything remotely interesting on it.

    Law of Cat Obstruction
    A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum
    amount of human foot traffic.

    Law of Cat Acceleration
    A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

    Law of Dinner Table Attendance
    Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

    Law of Rug Configuration
    No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

    Law of Obedience Resistance
    A cat’s resistance varies in proportion to a human’s desire for her to do something.

    First Law of Energy Conservation
    Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will,
    therefore, use as little energy as possible.

    Second Law of Energy Conservation
    Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

    Law of Refrigerator Observation
    If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

    Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
    Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

    Law of Random Comfort Seeking
    A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

    Law of Bag/Box Occupancy
    All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

    Law of Cat Embarrassment
    A cat’s irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

    Law of Milk Consumption
    A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

    Law of Furniture Replacement
    A cat’s desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

    Law of Cat Landing
    A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid- section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.

    Law of Fluid Displacement
    A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount
    of milk consumed.

    Law of Cat Disinterest
    A cat’s interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

    Law of Pill Rejection
    Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

    Law of Cat Composition
    A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn’t Matter.

  26. Check out this black hole on Youtube. It’s not a cat, but it’s not caturday anymore either.

  27. Quiet Desperation

    Nothing wrong with liking LOLCats. It’s a very clever site, and the way it developed its own communal lexicon to the point where people are doing deliberate translations of famous works is brilliant.

    From the LOLBible:
    Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.

  28. Saukko

    Black Hole Cat –
    warpin ur time and space

  29. The ear is Hawking Radiation captured in a brief snapshot in time 😀

  30. ad

    I don’t understand this LOLCat thing. Why do they talk like Samoans?

  31. Anchor

    Oooh…it’s listening too. Kinda creeps me out.

  32. StevoR

    Awww! That is so-oo like my cat Neko – also all black!

    I’ll have to wait until she’s curled up and photograph my big fat neko cat for comparison. 😀 😉


    Also funny & classic!

    Thanks Bad Astronomner & LOL cats! :-)

  33. StevoR - Correcting

    IBY said on November 15th, 2008 at 3:36 pm :

    “Black hole cats must give one million times more bad luck than the normal ones.” ^_^

    Actually black cats are good luck.

    Always have been for me … Same with the number 13 too. 😉

    Luck is what you make of it -and seruiously in many places and culturs black ctas are lucky justlike thenumber 13 has no bad connotations elsewhere where as other numbers have negaticve feras and superstitions projected upon them ie. 4 in Japan is like 13 inour culture -although with a smidgin more reason as it is a homonymn (sound-alike for death “shi”)

    Anyway folks it has got me wondering – what’s that catty black hole meausere in solar masses eh?

    0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 mass solar or something like it? 😉

    Must make it a record low-mass black hole!!

    A Hawking micro-black hole perhaps – or maybe a Schrodinger one? 😉

    PS. We can’t create the dot-in-a circle solar symbol thingy here in any way can we folks?

  34. StevoR - Correcting

    Incidentally ‘Neko’ means cat in Nihongo – Nihongo being Japanese for Japanese. 😉 Just in case anyone was wonderin’ .. :-)

  35. Ronn! Blankenship

    Phil said:

    “. . . they certainly occupy space (right where you want sit). At least they heat it.”

    Tom (as black as the one in the photo, with even longer hair) doesn’t: he waits until *I* have heated up the spot, then if I get up even briefly, he is there . . . and about as hard to move as a black hole of comparable radius . . .

  36. Ken_g6

    I like the lolscience that Naomi linked to. For instance, think of this as Phil, as a cat, on vacation…

  37. Gary Ansorge

    Brian Lang: LOL!

    As a drummer friend of mine once said,” If you feed a dog, he thinks you’re God. If you feed a cat, it thinks IT’S God and wonders why you gave it cat food when it ordered steak.”

    GAry 7

  38. BILL7718

    I KNEW that a cat would destroy the world!

  39. jim

    Oh that’s where he went! Wondered where that darn cat would spend his second life. Looks like he found a great place to eat. We miss ya. Enjoy the next 20. :-)

    @Ansorge: Amen brother, you know it! LoL

  40. Taylor

    if my cat was an lol cat it would say this(probaly)

    I on your bed
    stealing ur covers =p


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