Are you Penn or Teller?

By Phil Plait | June 2, 2009 9:17 am

After getting assaulted by approximately 3 gazillion useless "What kind of <insert thing here> are you?" Facebook quiz requests every day, I have dreamed up my own! Why should everyone else have all the fun of wasting supremely vast amounts of other people’s time, when it could be me frittering away your precious life?

So I created the following Facebook quiz flowchart. I have no programming skillz in that area, so I leave it up to my faithful BA droogs to unleash this on an unsupecting Facebook community. Hilarity! Fun! Shenanigans!

Here is the quiz: Are You Penn or Teller?

Are you Penn or Teller?

Turns out, I’m Jerry Lewis. Figures.

CATEGORIZED UNDER: Humor, Skepticism

Comments (34)

Links to this Post

  1. Friday Link Love 6/05 | Brad’s Reader | June 5, 2009
  1. Cute! I pretty much always ignore those quizes though. I’m not any of those things, I’m ME.

  2. @Larian

    I’m not any of those things, I’m ME.

    But, you can’t be me, ’cause I’m me!

  3. BWAHAHA, I can make that up right now if you want

  4. Ted Judah

    I’m mostly Teller until I hear something outrageous and then I spontaneously and forcefully shout “Bull$#i+!”

  5. Okay its done and I have sent it to you

  6. Tim G

    I am three times closer to being Teller than Penn. I just don’t engage in small talk very much.

  7. No, I’m Spartacus.

  8. Another Eric

    Even though I talk, I picture myself more like Teller, since I’m 5’6″, and I hang out with a friend who is (but not quite) as friggin huge as Penn!!

  9. I have heard teller speak. He was very nice after one of their shows chatting with people. The question should be do you speak onstage :)

  10. opossum

    Everybody knows Teller can’t talk. I heard he had fisticuffs with a chimpanzee and the little sucker took his tongue for a souvenir, but Teller stole the chimpanzee’s heart. <3 (facebook, huh)

  11. What, I can’t be both? (I have layers, you know).

  12. Just made this quiz. It had to be expanded a bit, there are minimum number of questions and answers.

  13. DrFlimmer

    Phil, you as a physicist (astronomers are sometimes just put in the same category as a solid state physicist, unbelievable 😀 ) should know that only an experiment can say “yes or no” and that the state of a system (in this case a human being) is normally a superposition of many states (in this case: two).

    So what if I am talking and remaining silent at the same time?


  14. Cheyenne

    I am a Teller. But I wish I was a Penn!

  15. DrFlimmer:
    “So what if I am talking and remaining silent at the same time?”

    Then you’re someone’s wife and the argument is almost over.

    (With apologies to all the wives out there whose husbands have driven them to this unusual state.)

  16. FWIW I almost made the question “Are you loud?”

  17. @unTheist odd since I only asked the one question with two options

  18. Karen

    Two of my cats are named Penn and Teller. They came from the shelter as a pair. Penn the cat is larger and darker than Teller the cat, but, cats being the way they are, Teller is the more talkative. Oh well.

    Another of the cats, also a shelter cat, is named Sagan. The fourth (a stray who showed up at the barn) is Steffen, named after Steffen Peters, the rider who won the World Cup Dressage finals this year!)

    Yes, I am well on the way to claiming my merit badge as crazy cat lady. I can think of a lot worse ways to be crazy!

    I’d write more, but Penn the cat is making it difficult — between his walking across the keyboard and giving me head-butts of love, it’s a bit hard to type.


  19. Geoff

    If I say “No” out loud, will the world explode?

  20. Navneeth

    If there is a start, there must be an end.

    I’m a GENIUS! 😀

  21. dhtroy

    I put my finger on START and the flowchart blue screened.

  22. Teller talks like mad, at least in the lobby after the show! And, oddly, he always seemed to be offstage whenever Mofo the Talking Gorilla had something to say…

    I need to find my picture of my mom and Penn. She came up to his ELBOW!

  23. @Dr. Flimmer,

    So what if I am talking and remaining silent at the same time?

    You have someone observe you and tell you which it is… or you keep sitting in the box stroking the zombie cat.

  24. David L

    I will gladly send this to all my FB friends for the ridiculous quizzes they send.

  25. rumleech

    I doubt either of them would want me to be them.

  26. Can I sit in the box with the zombie cat?

  27. Hunter

    That reminds me of this Feynman Flowchart.
    What Would Feynman Do?

  28. Renee Marie Jones

    Actually, I think Teller talks in almost every P&T performance! Isn’t he the voice of MOFO?

  29. Beelzebud

    I’d never pal around with Glenn Beck, and I’m not a anarcho-capitalist, or anti-government libertarian, so I’m Teller.

  30. Love the Feynman flowchart

  31. Tara Rinalddi

    Oh, these quizzes are so revealing and profound! wink wink nudge nudge


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