Are you Penn or Teller?

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After getting assaulted by approximately 3 gazillion useless "What kind of <insert thing here> are you?" Facebook quiz requests every day, I have dreamed up my own! Why should everyone else have all the fun of wasting supremely vast amounts of other people’s time, when it could be me frittering away your precious life?

So I created the following Facebook quiz flowchart. I have no programming skillz in that area, so I leave it up to my faithful BA droogs to unleash this on an unsupecting Facebook community. Hilarity! Fun! Shenanigans!

Here is the quiz: Are You Penn or Teller?


Are you Penn or Teller?


Turns out, I’m Jerry Lewis. Figures.

June 2nd, 2009 9:17 AM by Phil Plait in Humor, Skepticism | 34 comments | RSS feed | Trackback >

34 Responses to “Are you Penn or Teller?”

  1. 1.   Larian LeQuella Says:

    Cute! I pretty much always ignore those quizes though. I’m not any of those things, I’m ME.

  2. 2.   Todd W. Says:

    @Larian

    I’m not any of those things, I’m ME.

    But, you can’t be me, ’cause I’m me!

  3. 3.   Jules Says:

    BWAHAHA, I can make that up right now if you want

  4. 4.   Ted Judah Says:

    I’m mostly Teller until I hear something outrageous and then I spontaneously and forcefully shout “Bull$#i+!”

  5. 5.   Jules Says:

    Okay its done and I have sent it to you

  6. 6.   Tim G Says:

    I am three times closer to being Teller than Penn. I just don’t engage in small talk very much.

  7. 7.   Shane Says:

    No, I’m Spartacus.

  8. 8.   Another Eric Says:

    Even though I talk, I picture myself more like Teller, since I’m 5′6″, and I hang out with a friend who is (but not quite) as friggin huge as Penn!!

  9. 9.   hale_bopp Says:

    I have heard teller speak. He was very nice after one of their shows chatting with people. The question should be do you speak onstage :)

  10. 10.   ... Says:

  11. 11.   opossum Says:

    Everybody knows Teller can’t talk. I heard he had fisticuffs with a chimpanzee and the little sucker took his tongue for a souvenir, but Teller stole the chimpanzee’s heart. <3 (facebook, huh)

  12. 12.   Romeo Vitelli Says:

    What, I can’t be both? (I have layers, you know).

  13. 13.   unTheist Says:

    Just made this quiz. It had to be expanded a bit, there are minimum number of questions and answers.

    http://apps.facebook.com/are-you-penn-ibigjhd/

  14. 14.   DrFlimmer Says:

    Phil, you as a physicist (astronomers are sometimes just put in the same category as a solid state physicist, unbelievable :D ) should know that only an experiment can say “yes or no” and that the state of a system (in this case a human being) is normally a superposition of many states (in this case: two).

    So what if I am talking and remaining silent at the same time?
    :D

  15. 15.   Cheyenne Says:

    I am a Teller. But I wish I was a Penn!

  16. 16.   Philip Storry Says:

    DrFlimmer:
    “So what if I am talking and remaining silent at the same time?”

    Then you’re someone’s wife and the argument is almost over.

    (With apologies to all the wives out there whose husbands have driven them to this unusual state.)

  17. 17.   Phil Plait Says:

    FWIW I almost made the question “Are you loud?”

  18. 18.   Jules Says:

    @unTheist odd since I only asked the one question with two options

    http://apps.facebook.com/quizzes/fbqzr/qzr.php?id=329992

  19. 19.   Karen Says:

    Two of my cats are named Penn and Teller. They came from the shelter as a pair. Penn the cat is larger and darker than Teller the cat, but, cats being the way they are, Teller is the more talkative. Oh well.

    Another of the cats, also a shelter cat, is named Sagan. The fourth (a stray who showed up at the barn) is Steffen, named after Steffen Peters, the rider who won the World Cup Dressage finals this year!)

    Yes, I am well on the way to claiming my merit badge as crazy cat lady. I can think of a lot worse ways to be crazy!

    I’d write more, but Penn the cat is making it difficult — between his walking across the keyboard and giving me head-butts of love, it’s a bit hard to type.

    –Karen

  20. 20.   Geoff Says:

    If I say “No” out loud, will the world explode?

  21. 21.   John Paradox Says:

    I AM KIROK!

    J/P=?

  22. 22.   Navneeth Says:

    If there is a start, there must be an end.

    I’m a GENIUS! :D

  23. 23.   dhtroy Says:

    I put my finger on START and the flowchart blue screened.

  24. 24.   Harold Says:

    Teller talks like mad, at least in the lobby after the show! And, oddly, he always seemed to be offstage whenever Mofo the Talking Gorilla had something to say…

    I need to find my picture of my mom and Penn. She came up to his ELBOW!

  25. 25.   The Chemist Says:

    @Dr. Flimmer,

    So what if I am talking and remaining silent at the same time?

    You have someone observe you and tell you which it is… or you keep sitting in the box stroking the zombie cat.

  26. 26.   David L Says:

    I will gladly send this to all my FB friends for the ridiculous quizzes they send.

  27. 27.   rumleech Says:

    I doubt either of them would want me to be them.

  28. 28.   Bellatrix Orionis Says:

    Can I sit in the box with the zombie cat?

  29. 29.   Hunter Says:

    That reminds me of this Feynman Flowchart.
    What Would Feynman Do?

  30. 30.   Renee Marie Jones Says:

    Actually, I think Teller talks in almost every P&T performance! Isn’t he the voice of MOFO?

  31. 31.   Beelzebud Says:

    I’d never pal around with Glenn Beck, and I’m not a anarcho-capitalist, or anti-government libertarian, so I’m Teller.

  32. 32.   Bellatrix Orionis Says:

    Love the Feynman flowchart

  33. 33.   Tara Rinalddi Says:

    Oh, these quizzes are so revealing and profound! wink wink nudge nudge

  34. 34.   Friday Link Love 6/05 | Brad’s Reader Says:

    [...] Are you Penn or Teller? [...]

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