Does a smackdown of homeopathy sound better in Italian? You can find out for yourself here, where Spaghetto Volante has translated my homeopathy rant from last week.
I know very little Italian ("I am wounded", learned from my dad’s old WWII phrase books, may some day come in handy however), but I must admit that reading that page does make me sound a little more romantic.
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Phil Plait, the creator of Bad Astronomy, is an astronomer, lecturer, and author. After ten years working on Hubble Space Telescope and six more working on astronomy education, he struck out on his own as a writer. He has written two books, dozens of magazine articles, and 12 bazillion blog articles. He is a skeptic, and fights misuses of science as well as praising the wonder of real science.
Contact me: The Bad Astronomer "at" gmail "dot" com
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June 9th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
Haha, sweet!
Just add an “H”. It’s “Homeopatia”, in portuguese.
June 9th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Hey Phil, apologies for the comment gank, but any chance you can do an entry on the Betelgeuse size news that UT put out today? They didn’t really go into any kind of detail on what it may (or may not) mean, and I’m rather curious.
You’re the go-to guy
June 9th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
You know you’re Italian if…
1. You have many relatives named either Joe or Mary, and you have at least one brother named Joe.
2. You grew up in a small house, but you still had two kitchens (One was in the basement).
3. When you were growing up, you had five cousins all living on the same street.
4. When you were growing up, you thought that all wine was red and that it only came in gallon jugs.
5. If someone in your family grows beyond 6’ 2”, it’s presumed that the mother had an affair.
6. There were more than 28 people in your wedding party.
7. Your grandfather had a fig tree.
8. You’ve always wanted a red Ferrari.
9. When you were growing up, you ate Sunday dinner at 2:00 p.m., and on Thanksgiving, your family’s first course was Ravioli.
10. Your big family gatherings were held in your garage.
11. Your favorite movie is the “Godfather”, your favorite television show is “The Sopranos”, and your favorite singers are (in order) Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Jerry Vale, and Louis Prima.
12. Connie Francis songs makes you cry.
13. At least one person in your family does a great impression of Don Corleone.
14. You’ve been hit with a spoon and/or you’ve been hit by a nun.
15. You feel strangely comfortable when you sit on plastic-covered furniture.
16. You know all the words to “That’s Amore”.
17. You’re wife or husband wears a tee shirt that says “Pray for me, I married an Italian.”
18. You’ve been to the Vatican at least once.
19. For a short time while you were growing up, you wanted to be a priest or a nun.
20. When you were growing up, you thought Jesus was an Italian who lived in Israel.
21. You fight over whether it’s called “sauce” or “gravy”.
22. Your mom’s meatballs are the best!
23. If at least five of the above apply to you, congratulations!!! You’re Italian!
Source: Unknown.
June 9th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Christopher, follow Universe Today for the news from the conference this week.
June 9th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
8. You’ve always wanted a red Ferrari.
Not necessarily red, but I’m prejudiced against red cars because of a previous employer….
11. favorite singers are (in order) Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Jerry Vale, and Louis Prima.
EARLY Sinatra’s good, and I like Prima (and Keely Smith)
14. You’ve been hit with a spoon and/or you’ve been hit by a nun.
Sorry, ALL Catholics (Irish, Spanish/Hispanic/Latino(a) have the hit by a nun… unless you’re excluding ‘punishment’ for ‘misbehavior’.
Whew.. only three…
Actually, I’m “Irish, German, French, Scots, and misc.”
J/P=?
June 9th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
The Italians could give homeopathy a motto from Dante, if they wish: “Lasciate ogni scienza, voi ch’entrate.” Unfortunately, the pun doesn’t work in English. Oh well….
June 9th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
Speaking as someone of Italian background and who meets every single one of those criteria (well, maybe not the Ferrari and I never wanted to be a priest), I object to being stereotyped like that.
By the way Phil, everything sounds better in Italian and “I am wounded” is only useful depending on which Italian neighbourhood you happen to visit late in the evening.
June 9th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Ma, Astronomo Male, non e difficile di parla Italiano! (Hehehe … don’t blame me if my Italian has Tarzan grammar.) If you visit Sicily you must learn to say “E ottimo questo cavallo!” (This horse is delicious!) When I first visited I saw all these signs for the “Maccheleria Equina” which I interpreted as “Horse —–” – I thought it was the race bookies. Then I saw a shop simply labeled “Maccheleria” and it was a butcher’s shop, so I asked my buddy “Those Maccheleria Equina aren’t Horse Butchers, are they?” “Yep” she said, “horse meat is very popular here – you’ve probably had it in your antipasto and you didn’t know.” One person on Stromboli called me “Signore Mangiacane” (Mr. Dogeater) so I called him “Signore Mangiacavallo” (Mr. Horse-eater) – of course I don’t eat dogs, but he really eats horses.
@IVAN3MAN: You forgot Enrico Caruso! How dare you!
June 9th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
Could I be wrong in assuming Spaghetto Volante translates to something like Flying Spaghetti Monster?
June 9th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
I see what you did there.
June 10th, 2009 at 12:53 am
Having been born and grown up in Italy, I have to say that I meet quite a few points, although they really are Italian-American specific…
Anyway, the page is really translated word by word, and pretty well done.
Phil, I had read your original page a few days ago, and I can’t believe that these people (especially the father) still insist that homeopathy was the way to go. I’m not a parent yet, so I can only imagine their pain, but still…
As you said, they’ll have a lot of time to think on their beliefs…
June 10th, 2009 at 12:58 am
@DaveM Haha, you’re right.
Guess what? They already have a comment there left by an italian anti-vaxer.
June 10th, 2009 at 2:34 am
@DaveM: Ah, the FSM’s divine food is the “maccheroni con pistaccio” of the Nicolosi region of Sicilia – made of course with Bronte pistacchios. Ah, devo tornare. Even if you have no interest in history, archaeology, architecture, art and fashion, there is always the food.
June 10th, 2009 at 5:22 am
@Olorin: Yeah, translation is a problem:
Abandon all Science, Ye who Enter
It’s a little like the Republican Party’s signs at the entrances to their conventions:
Leave your brains at the door when you come in.
June 10th, 2009 at 5:32 am
Spaghetto Volante = Flying Spaghetto (singular of the plural “spaghetti”).
For what it is worth, the translation is better-than-average.
June 10th, 2009 at 6:34 am
With your history of punnery, Phil, I thought this post would be some strange mix of onomatopoeia, pareidolia, and noted Alexandria librarian Hypatia.
June 10th, 2009 at 8:43 am
I had read your original page a few days ago, and I can’t believe that these people (especially the father) still insist that homeopathy was the way to go.
June 10th, 2009 at 10:53 am
OK let me count
1. You have many relatives named either Joe or Mary, and you have at least one brother named Joe. Yes/No (.5)
2. You grew up in a small house, but you still had two kitchens (One was in the basement). Yes
3. When you were growing up, you had five cousins all living on the same street. Yes
4. When you were growing up, you thought that all wine was red and that it only came in gallon jugs. Yes
5. If someone in your family grows beyond 6’ 2”, it’s presumed that the mother had an affair. Yes
6. There were more than 28 people in your wedding party. No (Yes to older brother .5)
7. Your grandfather had a fig tree. Yes (So do I)
8. You’ve always wanted a red Ferrari. Yes (any colour but yellow)
9. When you were growing up, you ate Sunday dinner at 2:00 p.m., and on Thanksgiving, your family’s first course was Ravioli. Yes
10. Your big family gatherings were held in your garage. Yes
11. Your favorite movie is the “Godfather”, your favorite television show is “The Sopranos”, and your favorite singers are (in order) Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Jerry Vale, and Louis Prima. No
12. Connie Francis songs makes you cry. No
13. At least one person in your family does a great impression of Don Corleone. Yes
14. You’ve been hit with a spoon and/or you’ve been hit by a nun. Yes
15. You feel strangely comfortable when you sit on plastic-covered furniture. Yes
16. You know all the words to “That’s Amore”. Yes
17. You’re wife or husband wears a tee shirt that says “Pray for me, I married an Italian.” No
18. You’ve been to the Vatican at least once. No
19. For a short time while you were growing up, you wanted to be a priest or a nun. Yes
20. When you were growing up, you thought Jesus was an Italian who lived in Israel. Yes
21. You fight over whether it’s called “sauce” or “gravy”. No
22. Your mom’s meatballs are the best! Yes
23. If at least five of the above apply to you, congratulations!!! You’re Italian!
16/22 Plus:
My Parents did come to Canada on a boat….
English is my second Language….(the version of Italian spoken in Calabria – Southern Italy was my first)
June 10th, 2009 at 11:28 am
OK, I’ll yield to the temptation:
1. You have many relatives named either Joe or Mary, and you have at least one brother named Joe. -No.
2. You grew up in a small house, but you still had two kitchens (One was in the basement). -No.
3. When you were growing up, you had five cousins all living on the same street. -No.
4. When you were growing up, you thought that all wine was red and that it only came in gallon jugs. -That would have been insanity.
5. If someone in your family grows beyond 6’ 2”, it’s presumed that the mother had an affair. -I’m 6′1″ and look like my father, so no.
6. There were more than 28 people in your wedding party. -Unwed.
7. Your grandfather had a fig tree. -Not that I know.
8. You’ve always wanted a red Ferrari. -Ferraris exist without a reason.
9. When you were growing up, you ate Sunday dinner at 2:00 p.m., and on Thanksgiving, your family’s first course was Ravioli. -I’d already grown up when I learned what “Thanksgiving” is supposed to mean.
10. Your big family gatherings were held in your garage. -Physically impossible.
11. Your favorite movie is the “Godfather”, your favorite television show is “The Sopranos”, and your favorite singers are (in order) Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Jerry Vale, and Louis Prima. -”Duel”, “Quark” (scientific divulgation), let’s say Melissa Etheridge.
12. Connie Francis songs makes you cry. -Who?
13. At least one person in your family does a great impression of Don Corleone. -I do not know. Unlikely.
14. You’ve been hit with a spoon and/or you’ve been hit by a nun. -No.
15. You feel strangely comfortable when you sit on plastic-covered furniture. -I think I’ve never seen plastic-covered furniture outside of a shop.
16. You know all the words to “That’s Amore”. -No.
17. You’re wife or husband wears a tee shirt that says “Pray for me, I married an Italian.” -See point #6.
18. You’ve been to the Vatican at least once. -Yes (school trip in Rome).
19. For a short time while you were growing up, you wanted to be a priest or a nun. -Death before that.
20. When you were growing up, you thought Jesus was an Italian who lived in Israel. -Absurd.
21. You fight over whether it’s called “sauce” or “gravy”. -See point #9
22. Your mom’s meatballs are the best! -Unverifiable.
23. If at least five of the above apply to you, congratulations!!! You’re Italian!
Perhaps my citizenship will be revoked.
June 10th, 2009 at 11:44 am
I’m not at all Italian, but the hit with a spoon thing was actually something my brother did to provoke a fight when we were kids. Or was it something I did to provoke a fight when we were kids? I don’t remember.
Methinks the redneck list is more accurate.
June 10th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
From my, limited, experience you don’t really need to know Italian. Just read off the mimic and expressions, and be prepared to expose your inner Italian in return. [I'll believe you will find him nested somewhere between the stomach and the liver, enjoying the dinner and flirting with the staff.]
June 10th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
If you’re interested in translations of your article generally, =»here is [the|a] german variant.
Greetings to a great blog