Greetings to a great blog

Methinks the redneck list is more accurate.

1. You have many relatives named either Joe or Mary, and you have at least one brother named Joe. -No.
2. You grew up in a small house, but you still had two kitchens (One was in the basement). -No.
3. When you were growing up, you had five cousins all living on the same street. -No.
4. When you were growing up, you thought that all wine was red and that it only came in gallon jugs. -That would have been insanity.
5. If someone in your family grows beyond 6’ 2”, it’s presumed that the mother had an affair. -I’m 6’1″ and look like my father, so no.
6. There were more than 28 people in your wedding party. -Unwed.
7. Your grandfather had a fig tree. -Not that I know.
8. You’ve always wanted a red Ferrari. -Ferraris exist without a reason.
9. When you were growing up, you ate Sunday dinner at 2:00 p.m., and on Thanksgiving, your family’s first course was Ravioli. -I’d already grown up when I learned what “Thanksgiving” is supposed to mean.
10. Your big family gatherings were held in your garage. -Physically impossible.
11. Your favorite movie is the “Godfather”, your favorite television show is “The Sopranos”, and your favorite singers are (in order) Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Jerry Vale, and Louis Prima. -”Duel”, “Quark” (scientific divulgation), let’s say Melissa Etheridge.
12. Connie Francis songs makes you cry. -Who?
13. At least one person in your family does a great impression of Don Corleone. -I do not know. Unlikely.
14. You’ve been hit with a spoon and/or you’ve been hit by a nun. -No.
15. You feel strangely comfortable when you sit on plastic-covered furniture. -I think I’ve never seen plastic-covered furniture outside of a shop.
16. You know all the words to “That’s Amore”. -No.
17. You’re wife or husband wears a tee shirt that says “Pray for me, I married an Italian.” -See point #6.
18. You’ve been to the Vatican at least once. -Yes (school trip in Rome).
19. For a short time while you were growing up, you wanted to be a priest or a nun. -Death before that.
20. When you were growing up, you thought Jesus was an Italian who lived in Israel. -Absurd.
21. You fight over whether it’s called “sauce” or “gravy”. -See point #9
22. Your mom’s meatballs are the best! -Unverifiable.
23. If at least five of the above apply to you, congratulations!!! You’re Italian!

Perhaps my citizenship will be revoked.

1. You have many relatives named either Joe or Mary, and you have at least one brother named Joe. Yes/No (.5)
2. You grew up in a small house, but you still had two kitchens (One was in the basement). Yes
3. When you were growing up, you had five cousins all living on the same street. Yes
4. When you were growing up, you thought that all wine was red and that it only came in gallon jugs. Yes
5. If someone in your family grows beyond 6’ 2”, it’s presumed that the mother had an affair. Yes
6. There were more than 28 people in your wedding party. No (Yes to older brother .5)
7. Your grandfather had a fig tree. Yes (So do I)
8. You’ve always wanted a red Ferrari. Yes (any colour but yellow)
9. When you were growing up, you ate Sunday dinner at 2:00 p.m., and on Thanksgiving, your family’s first course was Ravioli. Yes
10. Your big family gatherings were held in your garage. Yes
11. Your favorite movie is the “Godfather”, your favorite television show is “The Sopranos”, and your favorite singers are (in order) Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Jerry Vale, and Louis Prima. No
12. Connie Francis songs makes you cry. No
13. At least one person in your family does a great impression of Don Corleone. Yes
14. You’ve been hit with a spoon and/or you’ve been hit by a nun. Yes
15. You feel strangely comfortable when you sit on plastic-covered furniture. Yes
16. You know all the words to “That’s Amore”. Yes
17. You’re wife or husband wears a tee shirt that says “Pray for me, I married an Italian.” No
18. You’ve been to the Vatican at least once. No
19. For a short time while you were growing up, you wanted to be a priest or a nun. Yes
20. When you were growing up, you thought Jesus was an Italian who lived in Israel. Yes
21. You fight over whether it’s called “sauce” or “gravy”. No
22. Your mom’s meatballs are the best! Yes
23. If at least five of the above apply to you, congratulations!!! You’re Italian!

16/22 Plus:
My Parents did come to Canada on a boat….
English is my second Language….(the version of Italian spoken in Calabria – Southern Italy was my first)

Abandon all Science, Ye who Enter

It’s a little like the Republican Party’s signs at the entrances to their conventions:

Leave your brains at the door when you come in.