The Church of Me

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Finally! I get the worship respect I deserve.


Now all I need is to pass the collection plait.

Thanks to SkepticSean, TrueNorth15, and HealthyAddict!

July 14th, 2009 2:00 PM by Phil Plait in DeathfromtheSkies!, Humor, Skepticism | 51 comments | RSS feed | Trackback >

51 Responses to “The Church of Me”

  1. 1.   Sarcastro Says:

    Bullwinkle: What are you looking at me for?
    Rocky: Well I ain’t gonna say it.
    Narrator: Don’t ask me.
    Rocky: Oh, OK. It’s the Ruby Yacht of Omar Khayaam….
    All: Booooooo!

  2. 2.   thatchereffect Says:

    I dig your books, blogs, interviews, and everything you do for skepticism. Unfortunately, this skit was lame and doesn’t do you justice.

  3. 3.   SkepticSnarf Says:

    i love HealthyAddict, she convinced me to join a group of local skeptics and humanists,

    SUBSCRIBE TO HER, you wont be sorry :)

  4. 4.   Mchl Says:

    We need to have the Book translated into more languages.

  5. 5.   hale_bopp Says:

    Don’t encourage Phil…he has enough of that already :)

  6. 6.   Lisa Says:

    My husband served a Mormon mission in Finland back in the day. He will appreciate this. Mormons don’t pass a plate, they use the tithe or you won’t prosper and your family will go hungry approach.

  7. 7.   Derek Bartholomaus Says:

    Holy crap!

    That was shot right across from me. I was staying in Room 979!

    -Derek

  8. 8.   Charles Boyer Says:

    @lisa,

    My wife and I often take respite at a lake near us here in North Carolina. As you might guess, it is in a rather rural area. Just before we turn off, we pass a place called (seriously) “The Church On Fire!”

    They have a pithy saying sign, as it so often goes with places such as these. This week’s was

    “DEBT – Doing Everything But Tithing!”

    Now is tithing pre-tax or post-tax? Is it tax deductible?

  9. 9.   tacitus Says:

    Okay, I guess…

    What would have made it creepy is seeing BA listed as the writer/director of that little piece!

  10. 10.   Brian D Says:

    Dammit, guys, so this is what you’ve been up to! Always having so much fun without me!

    (I’m in their skeptics group, but have notoriously bad luck with event scheduling such that every single event they’re in takes place when I’m booked solid. This included TAM7, which coincided with a course I’m required to take, and the local aftermath wrap-up discussion yesterday.)

  11. 11.   Adrian Lopez Says:

    I just tried to play the video but got an error message indicating “Invalid parameters”. I think FSM is trying to send you a message concerning your attempt to invade his Holy Pasta Plait… um Plate.

  12. 12.   IBY Says:

    I don’t know, there is something really creepy about those guys. Sorry, I might have to back up from the church for a while. ^_^
    As for the book, I am really enjoying it. My favorite chapter so far: Death of the sun.

  13. 13.   Fritriac Says:

    Nicely done clip! Well, i don’t really like it when two guys with books knock on my door and try to offer me things like salvation ‘n shiat :-)

    This would be an exception. I still wait for the german translation.

    /BTW: Yesterday I saw a report on Hubble at the German National Geo Channel, guess who was the first guy I saw to comment about it ;-)

  14. 14.   Davidlpf Says:

    Can’t watch the movie at the moment but for some reason I have the scene from MIBII in my head. You know where they open the locker where thera bunch of hairy creatures thinking K is god.

  15. 15.   Paul Says:

    Cute … but what does the Vulcan hand wave have to do with you? That just seems kind of … ok, I’ll say it… stupid. It’s just dumb.

  16. 16.   Stone Age Scientist Says:

    Hahaha, Phil Plait is a Phalse Phrophet. Nice alliteration, guys.

    Wait a minute, wait a minute…. that teddy-bear guy with the beard reminds me of….

    OMG!!!

    The Professor

  17. 17.   BadMA Says:

    Oh great. First he becomes president, and now he’s a deity! We’ll never hear the end of it.

  18. 18.   Stone Age Scientist Says:

    Holy Haleakala!! Ivan3Man, she’s not using Adblock!!

  19. 19.   Brian Says:

    Wow, I never really considered myself a follower of Plaitanism, but I’ve done most everything your prophets suggested to do. I guess I must be a Plaitanist!

    So Phil: Can you tell us about the central tenets of Plaitanism? What are the Plaitonic ideals? If I asked you for a favor, would you be doing me a Plaitonic solid? And of course, I am very curious to learn what you think about Plaitonic relationships.

  20. 20.   Keith Says:

    So why didn’t I turn into a pirate when I first read this blog?

  21. 21.   John Paradox Says:

    Keith:
    I really don’t (AARGH) know why you (AARGH) didn’t morph into a (AARGH) Pirate. Are you using Firefox with (AARGH) PirateBlock add-on?

    J/P=?

  22. 22.   The Science Pundit Says:

    Holy Haleakala! Plait be praised!!

  23. 23.   Stone Age Scientist Says:

    Now all I need is to pass the collection plait.

    Um, do you accept SA rand(i)?

  24. 24.   Stone Age Scientist Says:

    Brian @ #19,

    In order to be a true Plaitanist, you need to be endowed with have a big telescope. No, not those wimpy Galileoscopes. You know, like the one Phil has in his Facebook/MySpace picture gallery. :D

  25. 25.   Davidlpf Says:

    PZ is just minion nothing less, nothing more.

  26. 26.   BJN Says:

    Plaitanists agree with the “Sidereus Nuncius” and the “De Revolutionibus Orbium Coelestium” so long as they’re translated correctly.

    By the way, who is Plaitan? Is he related to Philzeebub”

  27. 27.   Eric TF Bat Says:

    So that’s how you pronounce Holy Halealli– Holy Hallelu– Holy Hackensack– that thing. I did wonder.

    Now what the Holy Hallmonitor does it actually mean???

    (And yes, I know I can look it up – and I did. There Is No God But Google, And Wikipedia Is Her Prophet. Sorry, Phil, you’re out!)

  28. 28.   Peter B Says:

    And if the Earth moves for you, is that Plait Tectonics?

  29. 29.   Kevin Says:

    Stone Age Scientist @ #24…

    I use a 17-inch dob, a 16-inch SCT, and a 14-inch SCT on a Paramount. Do I qualify as a true Plaitanist? :)

  30. 30.   Northernskeptic/Truenorth15 Says:

    Plait be Praised one and all!

    glad you enjoyed it Phil

  31. 31.   IBY Says:

    Haha, enjoying all of those Plait based puns. They are true to the forms and styles of Phil Plait. ^_^

  32. 32.   John Paradox Says:

    When will HE appear? and on what? toast? treestump?

    to be continued….

    J/P=?

  33. 33.   Michael L Says:

    I’m just wondering if I now have to give 10% of my income to FatherGod Plait…

    Our Phil, who art in Boulder,
    Hallowed be Thy Blog,
    Thy Truthiness be Preached,
    Thy Bidding be Done
    In earth as it is in Boulder
    Give us this day our daily Blog
    And forgive us our trolling
    as we forgive them that troll against us.
    And lead us not into pseudoscience;
    but deliver us from Jenny, RCH, and Moon Hoaxers.
    [For thine is the blog, the truth, and the reality]

    Amen

    BAD MA, I keep thinking you are Phil’s Mom! :)

  34. 34.   Christina Viering Says:

    Cute!

  35. 35.   The Chemist Says:

    Tsk. Some of these comments are full of Plait-Hate. Come to the light! Accept heliocentrism into your heart and reject Pluto!

    Edited to add: Truly devoted followers leave copies of BA and DftS in hotel rooms.

  36. 36.   Surly Amy Says:

    Finally I have something to believe in! Well done guys!

  37. 37.   Darren Garrison Says:

    Okay, were they playing that as gay guys, or am I just reading something into the (deliberate) overacting? ‘Cause I liked the David Blane gay guys better:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYxu_MQSTTY
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTqsV3q7rRU
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHbYTm8U1v8

  38. 38.   MikeD Says:

    It would have been even funnier if they attempted to convert Hal Bidlack

  39. 39.   davidlpf Says:

    @38 mikeD
    Who do you think converted them.

  40. 40.   Stone Age Scientist Says:

    Kevin @ #29,

    I use a 17-inch dob, a 16-inch SCT, and a 14-inch SCT on a Paramount. Do I qualify as a true Plaitanist? :)

    By the specs of your equipment, yes, I’d say you qualify. However, you still have to undergo the Plaitanistic ritual of Haleakala, a trial by orgy fire, in order to verify your ’scope.

  41. 41.   John Paradox Says:

    Holy Haleakala.

    J/P=?

  42. 42.   Grizzly Says:

    Cute. Unsettling though.

    There’s an element of juvenalia here that is disconcerting. I’m not trying to be a killjoy, but while there is a lot to mock in the evangelistic world, this just misses the mark. I don’t know how best to typify it other than to say it smacks a little bit of kids trying to make fun of something they know only a bit about. I’ll just leave it at that.

    The other “icky” factor here is that there is at times an element of evangelical fervour on the part of skeptics that can approach the irritation-inducing “in-yer-face” aspect of the door to door god salespeople. (The “we have the truth and you’re an ijit not to see it” attitude that at the extreme can become overbearing arrogance).

    Not that I’ve seen it on this site, but it’s there. Heck, even calling it the church of “Plaitanism” feeds some of Phil’s detractors who see skeptics as being cultish.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m a recovering religionist and consider myself a skeptic, and I do see the intent of the attempt at humour here, but it just
    doesn’t resonate with me.

    Not all jokes have to – that’s the joy and pain of humour I guess.

  43. 43.   DLC Says:

    Hey Phil, do your evangelists get to keep a cut of the sales ?
    Those guys used to be Amway Reps, right ?

  44. 44.   Torbjörn Larsson, OM Says:

    On the surface another one of those fatalistic sects. But I’m skeptic.

    it smacks a little bit of kids trying to make fun of something they know only a bit about

    Because there is so much to know about the difference between Santa, the Tooth Fairy and various gods.

    …, um, well, not really. WYFSIWYFG in parodies. Always have been, always will be, least common denominator and all.

    And, what would be hiding beneath the improbable and lackluster surface of gods? Illuminati?

    “we have the truth and you’re an ijit not to see it”

    Truth and facts are very different in nature, and one is well served by trying to learn that fact.

    For starters, truth systems differs so are relative to some formalism (say Euclidian geometry vs hyperbolic, or predicate logic vs intuitionistic logic) or ideology, what one has as true another can have as false (say only one parallel line through a disjointed point vs possibly several).

    While facts are shared by all local observers. And so one would indeed be an ijit to reject them, which skeptics are well aware of.

    But being aware of the facts isn’t the same as trying to imply that not knowing or understanding facts makes another an idiot. This is something I believe skeptics are mostly aware of and avoids. But unfortunately this difference can be dismissed as arrogance by those who meets empirical descriptions and for some unreason or other would like to reject them.

  45. 45.   Grizzly Says:

    Torbjörn,

    I guess I get antsy when people move beyond the realm of discussing and even ridiculing ideas to ridiculing people.

    If the aim is to get people to think critically then you get more flies with honey than vinegar.

    Else it does smack of arrogance because it becomes “Look at those idiots” rather than “I disagree with this idea / policy / belief… because of the following reasons.”

    Again, I know I’m being a killjoy here, and I did laugh at the video, but there is an aspect to the skeptical community that I think needs to be addressed.

  46. 46.   Stone Age Scientist Says:

    Grizzly @ #42 & 45,

    No, you’re not a killjoy. In fact, I find it quite courageous of you to point that out. The arrogance you pointed out, personally, I have learned to take such things for granted. This is because Americans are for the most part frank people. It is one of their enviable assets (something worth emulating in good amounts); but also a liability when it turns into hubris.

    And yes, I’m aware that you yourself might be an American. :)

  47. 47.   Darren Garrison Says:

    Grizzly:

    “If the aim is to get people to think critically then you get more flies with honey than vinegar.”

    And you can get even more with a dead squirrel.

  48. 48.   Stone Age Scientist Says:

    Darren Garrison, I believe Phil’s democratic maxim comes in handy for a situation like this:

    ETERNAL VIGILANCE
    For squirrels, both dead and alive, it is the price of keeping the flies out.

  49. 49.   gar Says:

    But you haven’t lived until you’ve seen that skit in the original Klingon. No? OK, it was still cute.

  50. 50.   mandydax Says:

    Bravo!

    Signed,
    The coolest moon of Uranus (YARRRR!)

  51. 51.   Northernskeptic/Truenorth15 Says:

    sigh…and here we were just having some fun

    I’m glad there are many who enjoyed the vid, my devout mormon family thought it was very funny and accepted it as the tounge in cheek production we intended it to be.

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