Sheldon or Wil?

By Phil Plait | February 24, 2010 12:00 pm

Here is a question for the ages: who would win in a Treknobabble fight, Wil Wheaton or Sheldon Cooper?

My first thought was that Sheldon might trip up because he is so well-versed in physics that it might actually impede his ability to analyze Trek science. However, we know that his analysis of comic books is fearsome in its depth and grasp of minutiae.

Wil, on the other hand, ate my lunch when I attacked him over Trek physics. In fact, I still haven’t forgiven him. So I should add the obligatory CURSE YOU WIL WHEATON!

Which makes me think that perhaps I should side with Sheldon, if only because we have both been bested by Wil. But sadly, in this case, my skepticism has me at an impasse. I simply don’t know.

So, BABloggees, what say you? Would the Enterprising young Wheaton outmaneuver the Big Banger Sheldon? Perhaps we’ll find out soon enough.

Tip o’ the nacelle to Francis Fletcher.

CATEGORIZED UNDER: Geekery, Humor, SciFi, TV/Movies

Comments (54)

  1. Ray

    I think whoever writes the better script will win.

  2. Bill… When are you going to tape episodes in New York? I’d love to go see one.

  3. Frank

    not only would sheldon win, but you would see Phil Plait in the ringside corner with Sheldon doing a victory dance

  4. QuietDesperation
  5. BigBob

    Sheldon Cooper is a hero in this house. Nerdy Geek households see Sheldon as a mentor. If he gets to England I’m going to take the kids to see him and have him bless them. Two of them have already met Brian Cox. Yeah, that’s what I said.


  6. Cindy

    Whoever pays the scriptwriters more.

  7. Katharine

    Oh so very pwnt.

    Also, QuietDesperation, Chuck Norris is a fundie. He got kicked in the head too many times.

  8. Gary Ansorge

    6. Katharine

    “Chuck Norris is a fundie. He got kicked in the head too many times.”

    Yeah, those spinning heel kicks are real brain rattlers. MY favorite martial artist was Albert Lee Dacoscos, who was the highest ranked kung fu stylist to actually fight(as opposed to performing kata).
    He retired when a Canadian kid in his early 20s knocked Al unconscious for 15 minutes(Al was in his mid 30s at the time and pointed out he was competing with 20 something year olds who had 20 years experience in the art.)

    Phil: Wil ATE YOUR LUNCH???

    Well, I guess he now owes you a dinner(and maybe some input for your new show).

    (Do I hear walk on?)

    GAry 7

  9. Wheaton. Easily. In the guise of Wesley Crusher, he dismantled the entire Enterprise and reassembled it. Drunk. Twice. He knows him his technobabble.

    The best Cooper can do is recite the babble that Wheaton has already spouted.

  10. Jamey


    Oh, *PLEASE*. Wil has been doing this for *HOW* many years? Wil has 7 years of ST:TNG actual *PRODUCTION* working with the people who really *invented* the concept, plus 20 years of conventions and living in the general SciFi community. Wil will reduce anyone going up against him to a singularity, wrap them in chronometrion particles, and send them back to the Planck Time just after the Big Bang itself.

  11. Wheaton would easily best Sheldon in treknobabble.
    The question we should be asking is can “Evil Wil Wheaton” do the same.

  12. Sili:

    Sheldon. No contest.

    O…M…FSM… That comic is just so… wrong, and yet, funny at the same time.

  13. Chip

    Sheldon will know all the Trek Tech but Wheaton will be able to actually build the Trek hardware which uses “beams” of some kind and “red” energy to transport Sheldon to a location outside the building.

  14. Mike Sperry

    In a battle of Treknobabble between Wil Wheaton and Sheldon Cooper… the audience wins.

  15. Kevin

    @15. Mike Sperry

    You Have Answered Correctly!

    Everyone else just give up.

  16. Brian Gefrich

    Well, hell, I’ve got that Space Shuttle Manual too.

  17. I’m sorry, but I just CANNOT join the “OMG I love Sheldon!” fanclub. I love BBT, I really do, and I even live in that world for the most part, but Sheldon drives me nuts enough to not love him to death like so many seem to. There, I said it.

    And seriously, he may be precise, but he does not have the creativity and imagination to come up with sufficient treknobabble to beat the formidable Wheaton. Wil, all the way, evil or not.

  18. Brady Duga

    Sheldon wins on merits, but Evil Wil cheats his way to a win. Possibly involving a semi-dead relative.

  19. QuietDesperation

    Chuck Norris is a fundie.

    True, but he’d still have Wil and Sheldon making him lunch with his Jesus Fists Of Fury. :)

    Being a Numb3rs man myself, I vote for Dr. Charles Edward Eppes.

  20. Check out the movie “Stand By Me.” Near the end, Wil Wheaton pulls a gun on young Jack Bauer and backs him down.

  21. Shawnathon

    Sheldon Cooper, but if you want to go one step further I’ll take Wesley Crusher.
    ūüėÄ Wil is still awesome though.

  22. Jim

    Feralboy12, I literally laughed out loud over that.

    Wil FTW!

  23. Bear in mind that Leslie Winkle corrects Sheldon’s white boards. One suspects Dr. Crusher did a lot of practice BPH checks with a Will of her own.

  24. My latinum’s on Wil Wheaton. More importantly, I consulted the Space Shuttle Operator’s Manual that Wil is holding in the photo to research the auxiliary power unit that was venting flames (as normal) after the Endeavor landing the other day!

  25. Cobey

    Sheldon Cooper all the way. Do you not think that after his last encounter with Evil Wil he hasn’t been spending every waking second training himself for his next encounter with…..WHEATONNNNN!!!

  26. Kevin


    Are you saying TNG Treknobabble, or all-encompassing Treknobabble?

  27. Rory Kent

    Wil Wheaton because he is real.

    Also, TNG was plain awesome while The Big Bang theory is a pile of poop.

  28. Bex

    I’d say Sheldon, hands down

  29. Chief

    I’m a geek, I have those two books and have to give Wil the nod. Sorry Sheldon.

  30. Brian Too

    Wil Wheaton (as W.C.) saved the ship, what, 8 times? Sheldon Cooper saved the Enterprise 0 times. Sheldon is a wannabe!

  31. I may be a little biased here but I have to go with Wil. Besides, the dude eats panties for breakfast ( and flew the damn Enterprise. He is pretty hard core. Plus I hear he does a pretty good pistol-wink with kew kew sounds.

  32. Timmy

    I agree with 15. Mike Sperry Says:

    “the audience wins”

  33. Alex

    Which Wil are we talking about, there is the Wil Wheaton who exists in our universe, and Evil Wil, who exists in Sheldon’s universe.

    I know it’s kind of hard to image that Sheldon is arguing with someone who isn’t in his Universe, but it’s important not to get the two Wils mixed up, as our one is a really nice guy, and it’s not his fault he played Wesley.

  34. LC

    Sorry Wil, you got to go down on this one. Sheldon Wins

  35. t-storm

    I’d say Wil since he actually exists.

  36. Oh, Treknobabble fight. My first thought was “threesome with Wil and Sheldon”, and then I had to catch my breath.

  37. Josh

    Wil has the Space Shuttle manual, so he wins. Power level over 9000.

  38. Jamey


    Hey, hey! I *LIKED* Wesley! I liked him a *LOT*. Wesley kicked tail, took names, and travelled to the ends of the Universe and back with *EASE*!

  39. John Paradox

    20. QuietDesperation Says:
    Being a Numb3rs man myself, I vote for Dr. Charles Edward Eppes.

    Naw, Larry Fleinhart…


  40. Grand Lunar

    Wheaton, hands down.

    I remember reading the book he has. I SO want a copy! Again!
    Brings back memories.

  41. Not sure about a Treknobabble fight, but in a Google fight, Wil Wheaton wins easily.

  42. Katharine

    I say Wil Wheaton needs his own jokes.

    For example:

    Wil Wheaton can divide by zero and not only prevent the universe from collapsing, but create whole new universes with the physical constants of his choice.

  43. RAF

    Wheaton…he kicks intergalactic butt…everyone knows that. :)

  44. ND


    I hear Chuck Norris can divide by zero, so Wil has some competition.

  45. Eradicator

    Wheaton wins. Sheldon would be too busy pausing awkwardly waiting for the laugh track to kick in.

  46. One thing I want to clear up; on here and on Fark people think BBT has a laugh track. It doesn’t. It’s filmed in front of an audience. I attended a filming last year (the one right before Wil’s dadgummit) and it’s all real humans.

  47. JB of Brisbane

    OMG! I just looked at the photo again… you’re holding a STAR FLEET TECHNICAL MANUAL, fGs. Those things are like hen’s teeth (my sister is lucky enough to own one). A lot of non-canon stuff (including details of the “under construction” DREADNOUGHT class), but a fascinating collection of drawings of ships, equipment (phasers, communicators, tricorders, medical instruments, etc.) and even patterns for the Classic Series uniforms (no Captain’s tunic, however). Every Trekkie and Trekker should have the chance to leaf through one from front to back at least once in their lives.

  48. Andy Beaton

    and it’s all real humans.

    Or nerds, anyway.
    I’m putting my money on Sheldon. I see him as a Khan-like figure, obsessed with vengeance. And revenge is a dish best… oh, you know that one, do you?

  49. JenniferBurdoo

    That Joseph Franz Tech Manual is in print, it’s not so hard to find. I bought one in an airport bookstore last year.

    My dad has the Space Shuttle Operator’s Manual, too.

    But that Tech Manual is TOS; properly Dr. Plait should’ve been holding a Next Generation Tech Manual! Bad Bad Astronomer!

  50. Fernando

    But remember what happened with Khan. He finished like Ahab. Citing Sheldon

  51. tm

    “Wil, on the other hand, ate my lunch when I attacked him over Trek physics. In fact, I still haven‚Äôt forgiven him. So I should add the obligatory CURSE YOU WIL WHEATON!”

    Those pretty pictures you always post may have made your thinking…2-dimensional. No match for a former Starfleet lieutenant. Who left you and your inbox marooned in a spam-filled planet. Buried alive, so to speak. So, to fully capture your need for revenge on Wil Wheaton, you need to quote some Melville.

  52. Mike Wagner

    Are you sure it’s not a laugh track though? Remember the fuss back in the 80s about whether or not some sitcoms really were filmed before a live audience, and it turned out they were but the laugh tracks were added after the fact because it sounded better.

    I only started watching BBT two weeks ago. From episode 1. I’m now caught up, and my folks are working on watching them all too. Hilarious. And I usually can’t stand sitcoms.

  53. Mike Wagner

    Oh, and the little touches like drinking from a can of “Dr. Peeper” are awesome.


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