“keenly alive and exuberant.”

I attended one of his lectures, and using this definition, he’s about the gayest person I’ve ever known.

Why does it matter if he’s gay? Does his sexual orientation in any way diminish the value of his contributions? If everyone could contribute as much as he has . . . well . . . I wouldn’t care if the whole world was gay.

Best,

—Kevin Levites

Unlike you, who, like many straight people with straight privilege, just do not get it.

Okay. Did you not read the previous responses to your first post?

Heterosexuals are “announcing” their sexuality all the time. Everyone does. The way you talk, the things you talk about, in casual conversation or deep discussion. Advertisements, movies, music–it’s all loaded with heterosexuality announcing itself. So why is that not a big deal? Why is that not flaunting it?

You seem to be operating under a couple of misperceptions, Murff. One, is that it is safe for gay people to “just be gay” in America today. I hate to break it to you, but that is not the case. I travel a lot for business. There are places I go where I wouldn’t dare let it be known I’m not straight. Why? Because I’d get attacked, physically harmed, possibly killed. Just for “being gay.” Seriously. And not just in some podunk flyover state where yahoos drive around with gun racks on their trucks. Everywhere. In fact, there are precious few places in the land o’ the free where a person can “just be gay” and not draw evil glares, if not sticks and stones. I wish that weren’t the case, Murff, but it is denialism to believe it’s not. I can move in these circles, so long as I don’t mention my husband, or my gay friends, or any other aspect of my life that doesn’t jibe with the heterosexual norm.

Which leads us to misperception #2.

The reason why it’s important that people like Randi publicly come out is that it directly address the idiotic stereotype many, if not most, heterosexuals have of gay people. To them, gay people are flighty, flirty, queens or ultra butch females. The idea of a gay person just being a “regular guy” or “regular girl” doesn’t enter into their heads. Gays are pansies. Gays are bulldykes. Well that’s bulls__t, Murff. The range of behavior and characteristics of gay people is just as wide as it is with straight people. We have all kinds of behaviors, all kinds of looks, of styles, of ways of talking. Not all of us are fems or leather queens or whatever the stereotype says we are. (And by the way, I’m not saying it’s bad to be any of those things…just that it’s a limitation that is so far from the richness of reality as to be ludicrous). So when someone like Randi, or NFL star Roy Simmons, or — take your pick of any number of “out” people who don’t fit that stereotype — when they make a public announcement, they are actively attacking that stereotype, forcing people to rethink their positions. They may not change the mind of any true bigot, but they sure as hell make a difference among people who are able to think for themselves. “So and so is gay? But he doesn’t act gay! Hmmmmm….”

You ask, “why didn’t (the gay community) support those people before? (their announcement)” Jeebus, Murff, what a question. Why did they need support? Ever ask yourself that? Why did they need a whole community of people to support them “just being gay”? Do you think it might be because our society’s bigotry is such that a large percentage of the people still think being gay is a sickness? or equitable with pedophilia? or an affront to one god or another?

Are things getting better? Sure they are. But they are getting better because people such as Randi, and Ellen, and Roy Simmons, and all the rest are dragging people out of the dark ages, forcing them by their very public announcements to reconsider their bigotry, to accept the idea that to remain ignorant about who gay people are is unacceptable in a supposedly free society.

Is that making any sense?

Have a nice day.

The stereotype of gay people is that they need to make announcements about being gay. This generally draws attention and causes, to some degree, a commotion around them. This is particularly evident for celebrities. When Randi announced that he was gay, what did it change?

Did people that were gay suddenly respect him? I bet Randi would rather them respect him for his accomplishments, not his sexual preference.

Did his colleagues and fans, myself being the latter, change their view of him? If we did, then shame on us.

Did people who don’t like Randi change their minds and suddenly start liking him? Again, if they did, shame on them.

When the gay community suddenly throws their support at people who have “come out of the closet”, it just keeps the stereotype churning along. Why didn’t they support those people before? Sexual preference should not be a defining factor in how we regard others, and by constantly making it a big deal, we just keep that one detail at the forefront.

I think Randi had it right to begin with. He wasn’t in the closet, he was just gay and didn’t feel the need to make a public announcement. Sounds like the logical thinking of a man we’ve all grown to respect.