Smells like Shatner

By Phil Plait | April 10, 2010 9:34 am

tiberius_cologneTrying to find the perfect gift for the Trekker in your life? Why not try Tiberius cologne? Or, if you’re feeling the love, maybe the scent of Pon Farr will do the trick… though maybe smelling like a frisky Vulcan may not work out so well. Of course, anything’s better than Red Shirt.

Honestly, though, I have to admit I’d much prefer this.

Tip o’ the VISOR to BABloggee Lindsay F.

CATEGORIZED UNDER: Geekery, Humor, SciFi

Comments (47)

Links to this Post

  1. Feed Proxy! « Unspeakable Evil | April 10, 2010
  2. Smells like Shat « Death By Awesomeness | April 11, 2010
  1. Pi-needles

    I hate to think what Shatner perfume will get abbreviated to! 😉

    BTW. Why is abbreviation such a long word?

    (I always smell like a frisky vulcan. Well almost always.)

  2. This is so awesome, words fail me! 😀

  3. James TIBERIUS Kirk.


  4. My parents bought this for me a few months ago. I don’t know if I smell like the captain, but it does smell nice!

  5. BJN

    Eeeeeeew! I think I have to boldly go now…

  6. Peter

    I was so sure this was going to be a spoken word adaptation of “Smells like teen spirit” when I read the title…

    A little disappointed, but this is cool too.

  7. I have the phasor, it’s pretty awesome actually. Especially the OVERLOAD setting. Actually, now that you’ve pointed this perfume out, I feel I’ll need to get it, just so I can add it to my Star Trek shrine:

  8. Moose

    I note the mirror universe federation empire logo on the bottle.

    / Ensign Akbar says: “It’s a trap!”

  9. $50.00 for a fake laser???
    Come on.
    I have got to come up with some Trek product to sell.

  10. Halcyon Dayz

    I’d rather have stuff that works.

  11. While we’re in Star Trek themes, Phil, take a look at new lunacy from our dear friend Richard Hoagland.

    In short: Phobos is an artificial, extraterrestrial, spacecraft.

    Click my nick for link… or well… you know how to find them.

  12. LuanneGraham

    What?! No Plak Tow!?

  13. MikeinLondon

    With that slogan is it a scent and/or a laxative?

  14. Chris Winter

    $34.34 — such a deal. (“only 2 left in stock — order soon.”)

    Thanks, but I’ll pass.

    Phil, I wouldn’t be so gauche as to ask how you know it “smells like Shatner.” But tell me: What’s a bloggee?

  15. Twilightened

    Enough with Shatner for goodness sake. We have a new Kirk out there, which is younger and more good looking. And he doesn’t fight with a Gorn in slow motion :)

  16. Chief

    Wow, talk about coincidence, I just finished watching Mirror, Mirror and now see the symbol on the bottle. weird.

  17. GSN

    You forgot the most important one of the set Phil:

    I’m told it smells like rich Corinthian leather.

  18. Chip

    Red Shirt isn’t a bad cologne but I’ve heard if you splash it on and boldly go out on the town – you may never come back!

  19. LuanneGraham

    Tsk, tsk…sold out! Bummer….

    also…@ Twilightened(#15): There is only one Capt. Kirk! One I tell you!..and his name is SHATNER!!


  20. JonPad

    Red Shirt is not the cologne to wear on a first date.

  21. D

    No thanks. I will wait until they release Chewie.

  22. Guaranteed to get you laid as often as a Vulcan.

  23. anomaly

    What’s Red Shirt for? For men with a death wish?

  24. Gary Ansorge

    My favorite is Jean Luke Picard.

    I want a scale model of the Enterprise,,,big enough for me to fly.(Ok, jet engines instead of FTL, but still,,,). Just need to make it VTOL(then I could take off from my back yard) and land in a grocery store parking lot.

    ,,,”to boldly go,,,”
    Gary 7

  25. Ray

    Speaking of phasers, when do I get a communicator that works? My cellphone is the size of one, so I know the electronics fits. So why hasn’t nokia (or whoever) made a cellphone communicator?

  26. Gary Ansorge

    26. Ray.

    Such a communicator is quite possible. We (the “crew” of Red Top Mt. State PArk) had access to two way radios about the size of a cell phone. Their range was about 10 miles. Of course, they lacked a visual/camera component but they were close.

    I expect neither cell phone companies (for their profit motive) nor totalitarian governments (Iran, North Korea, China) would appreciate such communications devices in the hands of their people. Just think what the students in Iran could do with that.

    Gary 7

  27. mike bukhart

    Well at lest it is’nt Klingon I don’t what to think that would smell like I would call it argelius or risa they were the hedonistic cltures in Star Trek .By the way all 3 sesions of Star Trek have been relesed on DVD with up dateed special efects I like it .The Enterprise looks like its orbiting planets and not painted basketballs and Klingon battlecursers apper in the frist and second sesions .I think other Star Trek fans will love it like I do.

  28. Brian J. Parker

    For what it’s worth, ThinkGeek has it in stock (as of this writing), and at the best prices I’ve seen: $19.99 for Tiberius/Ponn Farr and $29.99 for Red Shirt. They have plenty of other ridiculous/awesome Star Trek merch, too.

  29. Clint

    Wouldn’t you hate to receive a gift of RedShirt. It’d be like someone sending you a signed Death Warrant.

  30. Crudely Wrott

    I’ve laughed all my life at the notion that one can spread some potion on one’s self and then claim that one stinks pretty.

    Then again, I suppose odors are like hair dos or religions; most people seem to have one and seem to take great pleasure in continuously fussing with it. Gives them something to occupy themselves with, I guess.

    My mother always maintained that healthy people naturally smell good. I just talked with her today. She’s 84 and bright and happy. Last time I was near her, about a year ago, she smelled healthy.

    Thanks, Ma.

    I hope Smell-O-Vision doesn’t come to the InnerTubes until I’m done using them.

  31. mike bukhart

    One more thing not related to the topic .So Hoagsland claims Mars moon Phobos is a spaceship .Well he is not the frist, some have claimed in the past that Mars moons were artifical satellites launched by martians .The perpoinets of this(largely members of the UFO crowd) point to this as proff: Mars moons were discovered in 1877 but previous searchs with high powered telescopes of those days failed to find them so the martians must have lauched them shortly before 1877 .This is Bad Astronomy at its best ,the fact is Mars moons are likely Astroids captured by Mars gravity. As a matter of fact a Russian astronomer sugested that Earths moon was a spaceship that brought life to Earth some beleve this.p.s. Phill why did you not mention ether of these in your book Bad Astronomy?

  32. Pi-needles

    @21. D Says: No thanks. I will wait until they release Chewie.
    22. Skepacabra Says: Guaranteed to get you laid as often as a Vulcan.
    23. anomaly Says: What’s Red Shirt for? For men with a death wish?

    Classic hattrick of LOL’s – thanks all! ROTFLMAO. 😀

    @ 34. mike bukhart:

    p.s. Phill why did you not mention ether of these in your book Bad Astronomy?

    Only the Bad Astronomer can tell you for sure but my guess is that there’s a very simple answer to that one:

    Too much crazy woo, too little time & space to debunk all of it.
    (Especially the sillier and more obscure claims.)

  33. Got a little captain in you?

    Wait… That can’t be right…

  34. Andrew S.

    I’ve smelled this stuff (some smartass put it on the ‘staff picks’ shelf at the local Borders). It’s actually quite nice.

  35. alfaniner

    If they come out with a men’s cologne called “Sulu”, will it only be attractive to other guys?

  36. bubba

    Pathetic. Embarrassing. Only for Trekkie homos and convention-attending losers.

  37. Gary Ansorge

    38. bubba

    “Only for Trekkie homos and convention-attending losers.”

    Yeah and don’t forget us whacked out, brain burned DeadHeads. Most of US also like Star Trek conventions and concerts and, oh yeah, don’t forget to bash all those “loser” nerds that keep inventing,,,stuff,,, like heart transplants and pest resistant food and vaccines and,,,etc.

    Amazing how we “homos” keep reproducing so successfully.

    Gary 7

  38. Normally it’s my policy not to feed trolls, but what the hey?


    What’s wrong with being gay? Get with the times, gay-bashing is so high school90s. Hell, even the Christians are starting to ease up.

  39. Gary Ansorge

    41. The Chemist

    Ah, the bubbas of the world are just pissy because their standard mud slinging no longer succeeds in getting anyones goat.

    So, what’s a poor boy with the vocabulary of a 10 year old to do? Learn English?

    Gary 7
    PS; I Do have to give the bubbas one bit of praise; they’re what encouraged me to start lifting humongous weights. I’m 5 months shy of my 67 birthday and I can still unscrew heads. Stop by some time,,,bubba( we’ll party).

  40. JD

    Where are the scents for the ladies???

    How about: Orion – Green with… Passion

  41. alfaniner

    Another one for women (too easy)
    “Uhura… Hailing Frequencies Open”.

  42. Andy Beaton

    I ‘d like to order a bottle of McCoy -“It’s a cologne, damnit, not an aftershave”.

  43. Stuart van Onselen

    Gary Ansorge I suspect that if bubba where to come visit, terms like “screw” and “head” would come up, but not in the same context you have used.

    Remember, the ones that mouth off the most have the most to hide…

  44. Christopher

    43. JD – There is a perfume in the line for the ladies, Pon Farr.

    I just ordered a bottle of Red Shirt the other day, hope its nice.


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