I am traveling extensively for my Sooper Sekrit Project™, and staying in one interchangeable hotel after another. But one recent hotel was a bit special: while perambulating to my room down an outside corridor, I spotted this on the floor:

As it happens, the town I am in — forgive me for not revealing the location! — is very religious, and in a way that shapes like this would easily be revered as some sort of icon of God’s presence. The resemblance to an angel is obvious.

But of course, I happened to be walking back to my room from lunch. Had I instead been walking to lunch when I spotted it, I would’ve seen this view on the left. I suppose angels have to breathe, too, so this could be interpreted as a divine pulmonary system, but somehow I doubt it.

What does it look like to you?

You may know me as a buster of the Moon landing hoax claims, debunking the dumbosity of people who think the Apollo missions were faked.

But I have been leaked a picture that makes it clear that the truth behind Apollo was far, far bigger than anyone has ever suspected. In fact, it’s a real Thriller.

Reader Dan Brennan from the Unmanned Space Flight bulletin board sent this picture to me:

It’s a shot from Apollo 11 of Buzz Aldrin in the command module, a screen capture from the amazing (but Flash-heavy) site We Choose the Moon. Before I even read the content of Dan’s email I knew what he wanted to show me. Can you see it? Look just to the right of Buzz, at what should be a gauge on the control panel… but actually shows what looks for all the world (well, all the cis-lunar space) like Michael Jackson!

In fact, I think it is Michael Jackson.

The evidence is overwhelming. Sure, he looks like he’s wearing an eyepatch, but given his wardrobe choices over the years, is an eyepatch all that unlikely? And look at this picture for comparison — my Photoshop skillz are unmatched (happily for millions of satisfied Adobe customers). The resemblance is too strong to be coincidence.

So what’s the deal? You might think that Buzz was a fan, so he had a picture of Jackson taped to the console — though Michael was only about 11 when our first mission to the Moon launched, so that’s silly. The gauge in the panel is visible in other images, and you can tell there’s a glass cover on it. That means the face is not taped on, but is in fact a reflection!

The conclusion is clear. What’s going on here, obviously, is that a time-traveling Michael Jackson stowed away aboard the Apollo 11 capsule to experience the mission for himself.

I mean, c’mon. How do you think he learned how to moonwalk?

Shamone!

Quick! Someone call Ray Comfort!

Yup. It’s Jesus in a banana peel. The article has all the usual nonsense, so I’ll spare you the details. But my favorite part is where the banana owner says, "It definitely wasn’t that way when I bought it from [the store]…. ".

<sarcasm>Yes, because once you buy a banana and bring it home, it stays exactly the same forever.</sarcasm>

Sigh. I’ve had bananas go bad on the way home from the store. Bananas are the least stable fruit ever. I bet ten minutes after that picture was taken it looked more like the pareidolia in the kitchen sink.

I suppose there will never come a day when the mainstream media will have an article with a picture like this with the headline, "Random pattern in object appears to look vaguely face-like; owner makes no claim of divinity". That would certainly be news to me!

Tip o’ the polyphenoloxidase to Mauro Mello, Jr.

So this time, a guy leaves a brillo pad (for those not from the U.S., a steel wool pad with soap in it to scour pans and such) in his sink. He removes it, and what does he see?

He claims it’s Jesus.

Um. Seriously? I mean really, Jesus? In that?

He may claim that, but I think we all know who it really is.

Tip o’ Karen Black’s sharpened teeth to Fark (warning: potentially inappropriate language in that thread because, duh, it’s Fark).

Sigh.

I have only one comment (especially if you’ve seen my earlier posts on stuff like this): why would God have such terrible penmanship?

Now this is the kind of pareidolia I can understand.

That’s a flock of starlings, known for their enormous numbers and giant swarming formations. When you take a quick snapshot, you’re likely to get funny shapes, but, in general, unlikely to get such an opinion from the birds themselves.

A couple living a bit south of Fort Worth, Texas, are claiming that a cross found on an egg laid by a chicken on their farm is a sign from God.

OK.

You can see the egg there on the right. I have some comments… like, if this is a sign from God, wouldn’t the cross have looked better? The proportions are off from the way the cross is usually depicted. The arms are curved too. Held sideways, it looks more like a seagull in flight. Even right side up it looks more like a saguaro cactus.

Also, note the egg itself. Yegads. It’s wrinkly and folded. Any chicken ranchers out there seen eggs like this? I’ve seen my share of home-grown chicken eggs, and they’ve never looked like that. But be that as it may, given the wrinkly nature of the egg shell, a cross at the tip isn’t all that suspect.

This is the first time I’ve heard of someone seeing a random cross pattern and claiming it’s a divine sign. Frankly, I’m not surprised; a cross is too simple a shape, and you can see them everywhere. Plus there’s something about a face that grabs our attention. We’re genetically wired to recognize faces, so when we see them outside of a head we tend to take notice. But a cross? A Mogen David would be a little more convincing.

And for those of you who will give me the usual hand-wringing comments taking me to task for arrogantly trying to take away someone’s token of spirituality: you’ve missed the point. I think it’s a wee bit more arrogant to think that a divine omniscient omnipresent omnipowerful timeless spaceless being would send you, personally, a sign. Especially on an egg. Or an oil stain, or wood pattern, or dew, or a thin film interference pattern.

So, as always, I will point you to this.

Tip o’ the infundibulum to gdarklighter. Image credit: KTVT/KTXA