Okay, a new contest: come up with more appropriate acronyms for FEMA. No profanity allowed, despite the obvious temptation. For inspirational purposes, visit Shakespeare’s Sister and check out Cookie Jill‘s list of above-and-beyond measures by this fine agency — not simply everyday unhelpfulness, but making an active effort to prevent anyone else from helping.
Here is my favorite, unimpeachable in its objectivity because it is from FEMA’s very own press release!
First Responders Urged Not To Respond To Hurricane Impact Areas Unless Dispatched By State, Local Authorities
Release Date: August 29, 2005
Release Number: HQ-05-174WASHINGTON D.C. — Michael D. Brown, Under Secretary of Homeland Security for Emergency Preparedness and Response and head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), today urged all fire and emergency services departments not to respond to counties and states affected by Hurricane Katrina without being requested and lawfully dispatched by state and local authorities under mutual aid agreements and the Emergency Management Assistance Compact.
“The response to Hurricane Katrina must be well coordinated between federal, state and local officials to most effectively protect life and property,” Brown said. “We appreciate the willingness and generosity of our Nation’s first responders to deploy during disasters. But such efforts must be coordinated so that fire-rescue efforts are the most effective possible.”
Thank goodness the benevolent hand of Michael Brown was able to prevent any unlawful rescue operations from messing things up in New Orleans. Who know what kind of confusion might have resulted if things hadn’t been so well-coordinated?
September 6th, 2005 at 12:45 am
Fumbling Eviscerated Misallocated Agency.
Furiously Evitating Misanthropic Agency.
September 6th, 2005 at 1:20 am
Federal Emergency Mismanagement Agency
September 6th, 2005 at 4:07 am
Fools Expect Miraculous Assistance.
September 6th, 2005 at 6:02 am
Flimsy Excuse for a Meaningful Agency.
Famous Example of Moronic Activity.
Foul Excrement from a Monumental Anus.
Furious? Enraged? Moi Aussi.
Failed to Expect Meteorological Armageddon.
Finally Evacuating Many Areas.
September 6th, 2005 at 7:14 am
Flout External Magnanimous Acts
First Evacuate Most Affluent
Fumigate Encroaching Minority Abodes
Full-blown Egos Mismanage Affairs
September 6th, 2005 at 11:40 am
Former Emergency Management Agency.
It was doing okay till this administration decided to gut it, emasculate it, and staff it with hacks.
September 7th, 2005 at 8:57 am
Fiasco Enhancement by Minimising Assistance