One of the annoying aspects of modern life is the inability to get a real person on the phone when you attempt to call the service department of a major corporation. We’ve all been led through a labyrinth of touch-tone menu choices, only to discover that what we wanted wasn’t covered by the available options.
So here’s your shortcut: Find-A-Human. It’s simply a list of phone numbers for various corporations (banks, computers, travel, etc.) with instructions on which keys to push in your phone to most quickly get a real person on the line. Sometimes it’s sneaky — for Cingular, you can easily get a human by pushing the buttons as if you wanted to close your account, after which the person you get can help you with whatever you want. More often it’s straightforward — for Chase bank, you hit five, pause, then hit one, four, star, zero, just as you might have guessed.
Don’t say that Cosmic Variance never did anything for you.
September 17th, 2005 at 5:09 pm
Thank you Sean. This is most useful. I hope they choose to expand it as time goes on.
September 17th, 2005 at 5:53 pm
[...] Find-a-Human database tells customers how to navigate through automated phone systems to speak directly to a human. I knew Amazon had to have a customer service phone number! « Cosmic Variance Quoth Elia Diodati in Internet | on September 17th, 2005 | | BlogPulse | Cosmos [...]
September 17th, 2005 at 6:14 pm
Thanks for at least partially unravelling one of the mysteries of the cosmos – searching for an intelligent (I hope) life form amidst all the signals and the noise and the music.
September 18th, 2005 at 2:50 am
Wow. This is useful, since at the moment I am at War with Cingular. I am going to close my account, and that’s 2 days after I opened it and bought a phone, since my phone couldn’t work and I got the following responses from various Cingular techs :
(a) Your sim card is broken, we are sending you a new one (it’s in the mail).
(b) Your sim card has a wrong number attached to it, let me reset the phone for you.
(c) Your phone is broken, you have to pay us 59.99 + postage for a new one, and we will refund you once you send the “broken” one back to us, on your on postage.
(d) I screamed at (b), so they passed me to a department which says : Your phone is broken, we will send you a new one and you will send us back your broken one.
(e) There is downed communications tower in your area. Wait for a few days for it to go back up.
(f) I have no idea what is wrong with your phone. Can you go to a CIngular shop and have them take a look?
I think I’ve spoken to 6 techs, 1 person in the Sales Department (“b” above), 1 person in the Exchance Department (“c” above).
Thank goodness I only bought the prepaid plan. Monday I am going to cancel my account and go to another provider.
Any idea whether the Ericsson T290a dual band GSM phones work with Verizon?
September 18th, 2005 at 2:51 am
Doh (b) should be mapped to (c), and (c) should be mapped to (d) above.
September 18th, 2005 at 10:43 am
When I get stuck in a voicemail system and really just want to talk to a human, what I usually do is hit one key about 8 or 10 times in a row. Generally this results in the system saying “What? I don’t understand you” whereupon I repeat the tactic. At this point, most systems will give up and transfer me to an operator.
September 18th, 2005 at 11:22 am
Another good trick is simply not hitting any keys — many systems will assume you have a rotary phone, and transfer you to a person.
January 22nd, 2006 at 7:26 pm
I asked how to talk to a human and all I got was this page.
Not much help. I still need to talk to a human.
March 14th, 2006 at 3:58 pm
I saw you on the TV News today, 3-14-06, and they showed a long list of companies that you had found shortcuts to get to a real person. Is there any way you could email that list to me, or perhaps add it to your site here. I sure would appreciate it. You have a great idea here.
Al
March 14th, 2006 at 8:10 pm
hi’
Would like list sent to me.
ty
ron