So there’s snow in Chicago, and I’m stuck on the tarmac in Baltimore, on the phone to United Airlines, trying to reschedule my connection. But alas, the chipper recorded gentleman has not offered me the option “If you are currently trapped in an airplane, please say ‘Trapped’”. I take the best of the available options, but that man on the phone keeps prodding me for more information, none of which seems to be leading me closer to dealing with the “trapped on an airplane” issue. In increasing frustration, I start muttering “Operator. Operator. Operator”. After which I hear:
Infinitely patient phone guy: “I heard that you want an agent. Is this correct?”
Infinitely patient phone guy: “Thank you! Before I transfer you, I’d like to ask you a few questions.”
Me (muttering): “oh fuck you.”
Infinitely patient phone guy: “I’ll transfer you to an agent immediately!”
Apparently, the voice recognition system has an escape hatch.