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Cosmic Variance
« A Great Leap…Forward?
Postmodern Climatology »

And it’s accredited!

by Julianne Dalcanton

Spotted in the Google Ads sidebar of a news article:

terrorism_certificate.jpg

Share

February 25th, 2008 11:33 AM
in Academia, Humor, Politics | 20 comments | RSS feed | Trackback >

20 Responses to “And it’s accredited!”

  1. 1.   Jason Adams Says:
    February 25th, 2008 at 12:18 pm

    I bet all those guys who wasted money on flights to Afghanistan are kicking themselves right about now.

  2. 2.   Elliot Says:
    February 25th, 2008 at 12:34 pm

    This is great that you can do this on-line instead of having to be there in person. For us working people to be able to pick up this credential in off hours will make it that much easier.

    Thanks for letting us know.

    Elliot

  3. 3.   Brad Says:
    February 25th, 2008 at 1:41 pm

    The real question in my mind: how much higher are salaries for terrorists WITH their professional certification when compared to those without?

  4. 4.   Elliot Says:
    February 25th, 2008 at 2:07 pm

    Brad,

    I have been told if you have your certification, you can experience explosive career growth.

    e.

  5. 5.   Just Another Grad Student Says:
    February 25th, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    Hmmm. Reminds me of one of my favorites:

    “Find Big Bang Related Items at eBay”

    And, of course, when I open my spam folder in gmail, I always get recipies for things like “spam french fry caserolle” in the side-bar.

  6. 6.   Brad Says:
    February 25th, 2008 at 4:19 pm

    “big bang related” and “terrorism related” could actually be two ads for the same thing

  7. 7.   William Says:
    February 25th, 2008 at 5:03 pm

    I heard most of them preferred prior experience

  8. 8.   Lab Lemming Says:
    February 25th, 2008 at 7:31 pm

    If we take their accreditation away for plagiarizing other terrorists’ bomb designs, will they stop attacking us?

  9. 9.   Kaleberg Says:
    February 25th, 2008 at 11:04 pm

    I assume this is some anti-terrorism training certificate. Ever since 9/11/2001 there has been a boom in the security consulting business. There are at least two magazines dedicated to anti-terrorism oriented police work and an entire industry has developed including courses, equipment, consulting, and police work specialties.

  10. 10.   michael pierce Says:
    February 25th, 2008 at 11:30 pm

    yep… it’s an official anti terrorism certificate. And just think that someone with an online internet certificate may be protecting you soon.

  11. 11.   Luke Says:
    February 25th, 2008 at 11:33 pm

    How do they do the labs? Do you have to provide your own materials?

  12. 12.   Name (required) Says:
    February 26th, 2008 at 12:03 am

    yep… it’s an official anti terrorism certificate. And just think that someone with an online internet certificate may be protecting you soon.

    Soon?

    Testimony Before the Committee on Governmental Affairs, U.S. Senate
    DIPLOMA MILLS
    …
    These employees included three
    management-level DOE employees who have emergency operations
    responsibilities at the National Nuclear Security Administration (NNSA)
    and security clearances.
    …
    Employees #1, #2, and #3 are managers in the Office of Emergency
    Operations at NNSA and have “Q” level security clearances.

    http://www.gao.gov/new.items/d04771t.pdf

  13. 13.   Mike Schuler Says:
    February 26th, 2008 at 3:19 am

    “We cannot begin to predict where and when terrorists will strike until we understand them. For that, we must study them. Take the next step in advancing your career by receiving an undergraduate or graduate certificate in terrorism studies.”

    Earn a certificate in terrorism

    Endless Career Opportunities - With a certificate in AMU’s terrorism studies program, you’ll be ready to advance in your career as a terrorism analyst, criminal investigator, cyber-security expert, or forensic analyst
    - just to name a few.

    AMU = American Military University ~ The Ultimate Advantage is an Educated Mind

  14. 14.   Karl Says:
    February 26th, 2008 at 8:59 am

    Well, it shouldn’t take much, if this a so-called tech saavy society, to figure out which distance schools are “fully accredited” Nationally and Regionally, such as AMU; and which aren’t. All the major traditional universities are going the way of distance learning, including the Ivy League. It is a simple matter of finding out which are fully accredited and which aren’t. It would be wise to keep in mind that there are few institutions that were organized to provide military, undergraduate and graduate education, to not only the military, but also the NSA, and the CIA, AND happen to be fully accredited like AMU.

  15. 15.   Mike Says:
    February 26th, 2008 at 9:44 am

    My wager is that it’s not an anti-terrorism certificate, that there’s no certificate related to terrorism at all. Instead, I think the relevant institution prints “[blank] certificate” where [blank] is a keyword determined by search/article content. In this case, the search/article probably involved the word terrorism, thus generating this advertisement.

    Reminds me of when I googled myself, only to see a sidebar advertisement: “[my name] available on Ebay!”

  16. 16.   Zooglea » ya no hay que irse a Afganistán… Says:
    February 26th, 2008 at 10:49 am

    [...] un vistazo a Cosmic Variance y me encuentro con este anuncio de Google Ads que se encontró [...]

  17. 17.   spyder Says:
    February 26th, 2008 at 4:59 pm

    I can easily imagine that there are any number of certificates and other authorities needed to demonstrate acceptability for jobs with folks like Blackwater and the TSA. I suspect however, that getting such degrees and certificates from AMU and Kasalan Univ-Online, are just not of the same pedigree as receiving the training at the National Defense University (http://www.ndu.edu/) or Park University (which operates campuses and degree/cert programs on US military bases throughout the US).

  18. 18.   Mike Says:
    February 26th, 2008 at 5:15 pm

    Seriously, though, what were you searching for?

  19. 19.   Julianne Says:
    February 26th, 2008 at 6:19 pm

    I wasn’t searching, I swear. Just reading an on-line news article.

  20. 20.   milkshake Says:
    February 27th, 2008 at 6:34 am

    “With our martyr simulator, you can hijack a plane and fly into buildings filled with infidels, from the convenience of your living room”





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