JobsRated.com has taken a look at their URL, and decided that they should rate the best jobs in the world. (Methodology here; thanks to Diana Brodie for the pointer.) Obviously crazy, of course. I mean, Mathematician? Biologist? Philosopher? Dude, get serious.
Applies mathematical theories and formulas to teach or solve problems in a business, educational, or industrial climate.
Interprets statistics to determine probabilities of accidents, sickness, and death, and loss of property from theft and natural disasters.
Tabulates, analyzes, and interprets the numeric results of experiments and surveys.
Studies the relationship of plants and animals to their environment.
5. Software Engineer
Researches, designs, develops and maintains software systems along with hardware development for medical, scientific, and industrial purposes.
6. Computer Systems Analyst
Plans and develops computer systems for businesses and scientific institutions.
Analyzes and records historical information from a specific era or according to a particular area of expertise.
Studies human behavior by examining the interaction of social groups and institutions.
9. Industrial Designer
Designs and develops manufactured products.
Prepares and analyzes financial reports to assist managers in business, industry and government.
Studies and analyzes the effects of resources such as land, labor, and raw materials, on costs and their relation to industry and government.
Studies questions concerning the nature of intellectual concepts, and attempts to construct rational theories concerning our understanding of the world around us.
Researches and develops theories concerning the physical forces of nature.
14. Parole Officer
Monitors, counsels, and reports on the progress of individuals who have been released from correctional institutions to serve parole.
Studies the physical characteristics, motions and processes of the earth’s atmosphere.
16. Medical Laboratory Technician
Conducts routine laboratory tests and analyses used in the detection, diagnosis, and treatment of disease.
17. Paralegal Assistant
Assists attorneys in preparation of legal documents; collection of depositions and affidavits; and investigation, research and analysis of legal issues.
18. Computer Programmer
Organizes and lists the instructions for computers to process data and solve problems in logical order.
19. Motion Picture Editor
Supervises the filming and editing of motion pictures for entertainment, business, and educational purposes.
Uses principles of physics and mathematics to understand the workings of the universe.
The real lesson, of course, is that it’s awesome to be a professor. Or a parole officer. Whichever.
And here are the worst jobs, of course:
Fells, cuts, and transports timber to be processed into lumber, paper, and other wood products.
2. Dairy Farmer
Directs and takes part in activities involved in the raising of cattle for milk production.
3. Taxi Driver
Operates a taxi cab over the streets and roads of a municipality, picking up and dropping off passengers by request.
May perform any number of tasks involved in the operation of ships, boats, barges, or dredges.
5. Emergency Medical Technician
Attends to situations which demand immediate medical attention, such as automobile accidents, heart attacks, and gunshot wounds.
Installs roofs on new buildings, performs repairs on old roofs, and re-roofs old buildings.
7. Garbage Collector
Collects refuse on a designated municipal route, and transports trash to disposal plants or landfill areas.
Joins or repairs metal surfaces through the application of heat.
Performs routine physical labor and maintenance on oil rigs and pipelines, both on and off shore.
Raises the steel framework of buildings, bridges, and other structures.
Interestingly, dangerous and low-paying jobs involving a great deal of manual labor seem to come in below the glamorous and largely sedentary lifestyle of a typical academic. Although opinions differ; my brother is an EMT, and he couldn’t be happier with the job.