Not sure which blogs the editors of the Onion have been reading, but I have to approve of their proposed model for explaining the low entropy at the beginning of a football game by recourse to an infinite series of downs before “first down.”
NEW YORK — Citing the extremely low level of entropy present before a normal set of football downs, scientists from the NFL’s quantum mechanics and cosmology laboratories spoke Monday of a theoretical proto-down before the first. “Ultimately, we believe there are an infinite number of proto-downs played before the first visible snap,” lead NFL scientist Dr. Oliver Claussen said during a press conference, adding that the very last yocto-down is a by-product of leftover fourth downs from this universe, as well as those from a theoretical universe running along an arrow of time concurrent to our own.
Probably some enthusiastic football coach is going to try to cash in by writing a book about the idea, while others fulminate on the sidelines about how such irresponsible speculation is destroying the game. (Thanks to Ahmet Toker and Tom Fishman.)
September 28th, 2009 at 8:52 am
you’re welcome!
September 28th, 2009 at 9:28 am
The picture of the biologists/chemists attached to the article is somewhat distracting, though I suppose they are more recognizable as scientists at work than theoretical physicists.
September 28th, 2009 at 11:39 am
My favorite Onion story is still Philandering String Theorist Can Explain Everything.
September 28th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
Solid
September 28th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
Brilliant for the obvious reasons, but they even worked a pickle joke in there. Damn.
September 29th, 2009 at 12:22 am
“while others fulminate on the sidelines about how such irresponsible speculation is destroying the game.”
Yeah, I bet Popper played a mean game of football. And Einstein would be horrified to see how the game is played these days.
September 29th, 2009 at 1:08 am
[...] the original post: Football : 2009-09-29 [...]
September 29th, 2009 at 3:33 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiZt79UKUFQ
September 29th, 2009 at 4:57 am
Interestingly, there are parts of the multiverse in which football really is a game played with the feet, but I don’t think these are observable from the United States (at least not without cable).
September 30th, 2009 at 8:35 am
American football is a game named after the ball it’s played with.
October 1st, 2009 at 11:41 am
Don’t tell Sean:
New astrophysical discoveries leave little to no room for Atheism, expert says
October 1st, 2009 at 11:49 am
More from Fr. Spitzer: “this theory has become so scientifically solid, that 50% of astrophysicists are “coming out of the closet” an accepting a metaphysical conclusion: the need of a Creator.”
October 1st, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Clearly that must be a hoax, as we are reliably and insistently told that science and religion are completely non-overlapping magisteria.
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Who created the creator?