If Green Sleaze and all the other Enviro-whiner cluster shucks ended their mailings, how many trees would that spare/year? The truth is that fiber trees are farmed. A pine reaching harvestable diameter in 15 years is useless for anything but being ground up into pulp. End Christmas trees (Carbon Tax them!).

The truth is that we could gene-geneer tees to do our bidding. Go heavy on lignin for strong wood that laughs at termites. Knock out lignin for fiber that doesn’t need bleaching. Diddle the seed protein cassette to harvest human growth hormone, insulin, or blood clotting factors by the kilogram without prion contamination. The truth is that an advocate makes virtue of failure. The worse the cure the better the treatment – and the more that is required.

Go Muslim and wipe your fouled brown eye with your left hand. Learn why the left-handed were traditionally shunned (especially at the communal table). Official planetary drought bans handwashing afterwards and bidets. How many oil wells died to make your bars of hand detergent, tubs of laundry detergent, flagons of dishwashing detergent, bottles of sanitizing gel? End personal hygiene to save the planet! For whom?