No Time to Pray? No Problem! Your Computer Can Do It For You

By Rachel Cernansky | March 26, 2009 6:23 pm

clouds.jpgAre you religious, but find yourself with no time to pray? Then Information Age Prayer has the solution you need. For just $4.95 a month, this online service will have your prayers said for you.

The program uses text-to-speech synthesizers to say prayers in a voice designed to emulate the volume and speed of an average praying person. Choose from Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, and if you’re unaffiliated, no problem! They’ve got options for you as well.

Prices for the prayers vary, depending on the length. You can subscribe to daily prayers, mourning prayers, prayers for the sick, and for children (the cheapest). There’s even a prayer for economic stability, which “asks God to improve the economy and to enable us to support ourselves ‘in honor but not in disgrace'”—this one is offered at a discount rate. And, ever so responsibly, the site reminds you: “Take care, this prayer is not an alternative to fiscal responsibility!”

The company seeks to strengthen subscribers’ connections with God, but makes the disclaimer: “As with all prayer, the final results are up to God as everything follows His will. We make no claims regarding the efficacy of the service.”

Go ahead—”Make God’s task easy” today!

Related Content:
Reality Base: Science, Religion, and the Mystery Train
Bad Astronomy: Freedom of and from religion

Image: Flickr / TheAlieness GiselaGiardino

MORE ABOUT: computers, god, religion
  • Pingback: No Time to Pray? No Problem! Your Computer Can Do It For You … | All About Technology()

  • http://www.johnwallie.com PlantPerson

    Science fiction comes true once again. This exact service is described in Margaret Atwood’s _The Handmaid’s Tale_.

    (It also calls to mind Douglas Adams’s electronic monk from the first Dirk Gently book, a device which can be programmed to believe in things for people who don’t have time to believe in things themselves.)

  • Ritchie

    Unfortunately my computer doesn’t have a soul, so it’s ability to communicate with God will be severely hampered. God’s “ears” don’t work in the audible range, rather in the spiritual realm.

  • Brian

    No, Ritchie, things aren’t true just because you say them.

  • Christina Viering

    How about putting your face on the computer screen and having it say affirmations in front of a mirror? Will that work?

  • Kevin

    I’m still waiting for this to be a link on theonion.com, but to my dismay, it’s not.

    Here are some free alternatives to paying $4.95/month:
    1. Take 30 seconds and pray – you can even do this in your car!
    2. Many churches have free “prayer forms” that actual people pray and intercede for you.
    3. Setup an Outlook reminder to pray.
    4. Program your phone to call you at a certain time of the day. Get a custom ring-tone, and let that be a reminder to pray for your family, or whoever.
    5. Put a prayer list on your fridge. Every time you get something from the fridge, say a quick prayer for someone on the list.
    6. Step away from the internet and tell God you miss talking with Him. I’m sure He misses you too!

  • Pingback: World’s Oldest Bible, Now Available on Your Laptop | Discoblog | Discover Magazine()

  • Catherine

    Isn’t the point of prayer intention … Isn’t that what makes it so powerful, enabling you to connect with God through your loving relationship >.> ?

    That’s like getting a machine to ring your friend and leave a happy birthday message on their answering service… sheesh.

  • Catherine

    Oh yeh.. and the whole thing is…. This is based around greed. Someone making money out of peoples faith – that’s beyond shameful.

  • womd

    completely agree with catherine

  • Herald

    Do you have any other posts relating to this?

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