Fake New York Post on Climate Change: "We're Screwed"

By Melissa Lafsky | September 21, 2009 10:51 am

We're Screwed

Let it not be said that no one is using eye-catching stunts to raise awareness about global warming. The activist group the Yes Men is distributing 85,000 free copies of a “special climate edition” of the New York Post throughout New York City today, with the goal of, well, terrifying people into action against climate change.

The full paper is available online here, and each article is also online. Here’s an excerpt from the front-page story:

It’s official. It’s getting hot down here. And if we don’t stop burning oil and coal, the Big Apple will be cooked.

According to a high tech study commissioned by a concerned Mayor Bloomberg and generously funded by the Rockefeller Foundation, climate change caused by human-created greenhouse gases is threatening the health, livelihood and security of New Yorkers—especially those who take the subway to work…

According to the panel’s report, if all nations don’t drastically cut their carbon emissions, then Gotham will suffer in the following ways:

• Deadly heat waves will become more frequent, more intense and longer. Because cities are a lot hotter than their surrounding areas, we’ll see more of the sorts of heat events that killed 600 people in 5 days in Chicago in 1995…

• With coastal flooding, our water supply will be in trouble…

• Along with coastal flooding, droughts will also increase…

• The strain on our power grid will be drastically increased during the summer months.

Granted, there is some light at the end of the pitch black tunnel:

So what can we do about it? Plenty. And it’s not even that hard.

On the City level, NASA scientists have the answers, and they’re simple: plant lots more trees (to cool the air through “evapotranspiration” and shade), and paint the roofs white to reflect the sun’s heating rays (See “New York’s all white with me”).

But MOST IMPORTANTLY, we need to put pressure on government—local, state and federal—to convert our entire energy systems to sustainable sources like solar and wind.

Well, lets hope all those stimulus checks can kick that process into gear.

Related Content:
Reality Base: Will the Bailout Save Solar Tax Credits?
Reality Base: Congress Steals from the Clean and Gives to the Dirty
Discoblog: Are Wind Turbines Killing Innocent Goats?

Image: Courtesy of The Yes Men

  • Sam

    ya were reeeeeeeeeeealy screwed and were so screwed we cant unscrew ourselves…..sadly

  • Michael

    It’s a parody on how incredible it is as to how much fear the sheeple buy.

    We are going to win in this battle against the globalists.

    I have to laugh my ass off at the global warming conspiracy deniers when I see what the Sun is denying them every day. No sunspots for them for a very long time till they learn a lesson they will never forget, HAHA. The lesson includes; you can’t trick the world into accepting global energy rations and Rothschild style control of the energy markets through junk climate science.

    Watch this 1990 documentary, it proves the on-going conspiracy to control the entire world through global taxation of the energy markets.

    The Greenhouse Conspiracy
    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5949034802461518010#

  • Michael

    This is a parody on how incredibly stupid and gullible the sheeple are. They buy the global warming alarmism hook line and sinker.

    We are going to win in this battle against the globalists.

    I have to laugh my ass off at the global warming conspiracy deniers when I see what the Sun is denying them of every day. No sunspots for them for a very long time till they learn a lesson they will never forget, HAHA. The lesson includes; you can’t trick the world into accepting global energy rations and Rothschild style control of the energy markets through junk climate science.

    Watch this 1990 documentary, it proves the on-going conspiracy to control the entire world through global taxation of the energy markets.

    The Greenhouse Conspiracy
    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5949034802461518010#

  • Steve

    Michael -

    I’ve surveyed much of the research and I find very little junk. Very few people are going to take a 20 year old video as evidence that the majority of the worlds climate scientists have been duped – they are trained scientists who know how to examine evidence and data. I know, the majority of the worlds glaciers in retreat, the first ship to sail from Europe to Asia via the Arctic Ocean this past week (thanks to a lack of ice for the first time in recorded history), the movement of animal habitats northward, the temperature trends of the last 200 years, the acidification of the oceans due to CO2, the low in the sun’s energy output while the temps remain high… It’s all just a big coincidence…

    But thanks for your opinion.

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