NCBI ROFL: Clueless doctor sleeps through math class, reinvents calculus… and names it after herself.

By ncbi rofl | December 7, 2010 7:00 pm

2192192956_c9023211caA mathematical model for the determination of total area under glucose tolerance and other metabolic curves.

“OBJECTIVE: To develop a mathematical model for the determination of total areas under curves from various metabolic studies. RESEARCH DESIGN AND METHODS: In Tai’s Model, the total area under a curve is computed by dividing the area under the curve between two designated values on the X-axis (abscissas) into small segments (rectangles and triangles) whose areas can be accurately calculated from their respective geometrical formulas. The total sum of these individual areas thus represents the total area under the curve. Validity of the model is established by comparing total areas obtained from this model to these same areas obtained from graphic method (less than +/- 0.4%). Other formulas widely applied by researchers under- or overestimated total area under a metabolic curve by a great margin. RESULTS: Tai’s model proves to be able to 1) determine total area under a curve with precision; 2) calculate area with varied shapes that may or may not intercept on one or both X/Y axes; 3) estimate total area under a curve plotted against varied time intervals (abscissas), whereas other formulas only allow the same time interval; and 4) compare total areas of metabolic curves produced by different studies. CONCLUSIONS: The Tai model allows flexibility in experimental conditions, which means, in the case of the glucose-response curve, samples can be taken with differing time intervals and total area under the curve can still be determined with precision.”

calculus_fail

Thanks to Barry for today’s ROFL!
Photo: flickr/striatic

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CATEGORIZED UNDER: duh, NCBI ROFL
  • Matt B.

    Wow. Really? I mean, I came up with some rules of calculus in high school, but I wasn’t dumb enough to think I was the first. And not having been anywhere near a calculus class, my ignorance was excusable.

  • nobody

    This is what I call bleeding edge research! By the way, let me guess, the researcher also got some grant to fund his “original” research? That would be fun!

  • AG

    According to Google scholar, this paper has 137 citations. I am officially scared to see the doctor, any doctor.

  • Crash

    I bet you could patent it in the US.

  • Village idiot

    Wow ! This lady is so smart, she didn’t even bother to do a literature search ! She shouldn’t only be published – let’s go the whole nine yards and give her the noble prize ! And declare three days of the year a holiday in her memory !

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1611170358 Stig Carlsson

      Yes, of course she should have The Noble Prize! Thats the Diploma some crazy Norwegians gives you if you pay 500$ to their account for it. But she will have to pay for it herself.
      Our Swedish Nobel Kommité must have been ROFLing if someone there found out about it at the time…

  • http://twitter.com/JosephAndersen Joseph Andersen

    Technically, she invented the Riemann sum approximation to the integral. I assume that the follow up where she determines the gravitational attraction between two bodies is in press

  • Anonymous

    We’re being a little unfair here. First of all, we now know neutrinos travel faster than light. So clearly Tai — realizing how valuable this new Tai model would be had we invented it in the past — invented calculus, hopped a flight on a neutrino, travelled back in time to the 17th century and sat down with the two leading mathematical minds of the time, Newton and Leibniz, to see what they could do with it. Naturally Tai couldn’t have anticipated the centuries long debate about which of these two invented calculus, since she was sure that both would credit “Dr. Tai, time-traveling MD” in their subsequent publications.

    So really, it’s Newton and Leibniz, thieve both, that we should be mad at here.

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NCBI ROFL is the brainchild of two Molecular and Cell Biology graduate students at UC Berkeley and features real research articles from the PubMed database (which is housed by the National Center for Biotechnology information, aka NCBI) that they find amusing (ROFL is a commonly-used internet acronym for "rolling on the floor, laughing"). Follow us on twitter: @ncbirofl

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