Archive for April, 2011

NCBI ROFL: Cutting off the nose to save the penis.

By ncbi rofl | April 29, 2011 7:00 pm

“INTRODUCTION: The average bicycle police officer spends 24 hours a week on his bicycle and previous studies have shown riding a bicycle with a traditional (nosed) saddle has been associated with urogenital paresthesia and sexual dysfunction.

AIM: The objective of this study was to assess the effectiveness of the no-nose bicycle saddle as an ergonomic intervention and their acceptance among male bicycle police officers.

METHODS: Bicycle police officers from five U.S. metropolitan areas were recruited for this study. Officers completed: (i) the International Index of Erectile Function Questionnaire (IIEF); (ii) computerized pressure measurements at the points of contact on the bicycle; the handlebars, the pedals, and the saddle; (iii) one night of nocturnal Rigiscan assessment; (iv) penile vibrotactile sensitivity threshold assessed by computerized biothesiometery. Officers selected a no-nose saddle for their bicycles and were asked to use the intervention saddle exclusively for 6 months, at which point they were retested.

MAIN OUTCOME MEASURES: Perineal pressure, urogenital numbness, penile vibrotactile sensitivity threshold, erectile function as measure by International Index of Erectile Function Questionnaire (IIEF) and Rigiscan.
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CATEGORIZED UNDER: NCBI ROFL, penis friday

Can the U.S. Military Shower Trackable Dust Onto Terrorists?

By Patrick Morgan | April 29, 2011 3:29 pm

If the Air Force gets its way, it will have spying eyes hidden in the very motes on its enemies’ boots. In a wonderfully vague request this week, the Air Force called for companies to design miniature drones capable of dusting targets with signal-emitting particles. They say the technology (assuming it works) could be used to identify civilians or track wildlife, which is military-speak for “we want to track and kill terrorists, not bunnies.”

According to the request, the Air Force wants a small remotely piloted aircraft, or SRPA, that would “unobtrusively distribute taggants onto moving targets.” They describe taggants as tiny electro-magnetic-emitting devices. The key part of the request is for the tracked person to not be aware that he’s being tracked. The request makes the laughable point that a swooping SRPA or tracking-device-laden paint ball probably wouldn’t be unobtrusive enough because “the target would obviously notice a swooping SRPA and likely feel the sting of the well-placed pellet.” (Either that, or you’re dealing with one very unaware terrorist.)

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CATEGORIZED UNDER: Technology Attacks!

NCBI ROFL: The best use of CAT scans to date: bacon quality prediction.

By ncbi rofl | April 28, 2011 7:21 pm

Measurement of belly composition variability in pigs by in vivo computed tomographic scanning.

“The belly region composition of a representative commercial pig sample of 130 castrates was examined by in vivo spiral computed tomographic (CT) scanning. The lean meat percentage, the muscle/fat tissue ratio within the total body and separately within the bacon part were estimated by image analysis. The lean meat content of the total body was determined by the EU reference method. A correlation of r = 0.97 was found between lean meat content of the total body determined by CT estimation and the slaughtering results. Read More

CATEGORIZED UNDER: eat me, fun with animals, NCBI ROFL

Bonus! New Night-Vision Helmet Lets You See in the Dark AND Look Ridiculous

By Patrick Morgan | April 28, 2011 4:09 pm

The latest state-of-the-art night-vision helmet should probably come with a warning label: “May cause uncontrollable laughter.” Despite its goofy, high-tech-Frankenstein appearance, the helmet actually makes a significant improvement in night vision by doubling the field of view compared to—and making that view much sharper than—the view through current goggles.

Called the High Resolution Night Vision System (HRNVS), these helmets are designed to give U.S. Air Force pilots higher-resolution images and an over-80-degree field of view, which is much better than the fuzzy, 40-degree field of view of conventional goggles. With the helmet in place, a pilot simply flips the viewers over his eyes to peer into the night. Each eyepiece is fed a synced image from two digital night-vision sensors. In addition to seeing more, the pilot also receives a crisper image because the helmet is programmed to enhance edges and contrasts, says SA Photonics, the company that developed the device. And as he spies another aircraft, a HUD-like digital overlay tells him how high it is and how fast it’s moving; and he can even record what he’s seeing as a video.

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CATEGORIZED UNDER: Technology Attacks!

My JELL-O Says I'm Pancreatitis-Free

By Patrick Morgan | April 28, 2011 10:42 am

Grad students are a notoriously impoverished group, and so it’s only fitting that one has invented a pancreatitis test using a dollar’s worth of materials. In less than an hour, Reynolds Wrap, JELL-O, and milk can tell you whether you have pancreatitis, a sudden pancreas inflammation that can cause nausea, fever, shock, and even death.

Invented by biochemistry grad student Brian Zaccheo, this match-box-sized test detects high levels of trypsin, a pancreatic enzyme that’s abundant in pancreatitic patients. The diagnosis involves two simple steps: First, you drip some blood from a patient onto a gelatin and milk-protein layer, which breaks down in the presence of trypsin. Second, you add a drop of sodium hydroxide, or lye, which—if the trypsin has reacted through the entire gelatin layer—dissolves the Reynolds wrap that’s underneath the gelatin; the dissolved foil frees up a connection between a magnesium anode and an iron salt cathode, which creates enough current to light a red LED. “In essence, the device is a battery having a trypsin-selective switch that closes the circuit between the anode and cathode,” Zaccheo writes in a paper published in Analytical Chemistry.  The patients know if they have pancreatitis if the LED lights up within an hour.

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NCBI ROFL: Pooping while lying down is not as easy as you might think.

By ncbi rofl | April 27, 2011 7:00 pm

Influence of body position and stool characteristics on defecation in humans.

“Whether defecation is influenced by body position or stool characteristics is unclear. We investigated effects of body position, presence of stool-like sensation, and stool form on defecation patterns and manometric profiles. Rectal and anal pressures were assessed in 25 healthy volunteers during attempted defecation either in the lying or sitting positions and with balloon-filled or empty rectum. Read More

CATEGORIZED UNDER: ha ha poop, NCBI ROFL

NCBI ROFL: Grad students eating hot wings: now this is science worth doing!

By ncbi rofl | April 26, 2011 7:00 pm

Counting bones: environmental cues that decrease food intake.

“At an all-you-can eat buffet in a sports bar, it was tested whether people would eat less if they knew how much they had already eaten. 50 graduate students (34 women; M age = 24.1 yr.) were seated at 21 tables randomly assigned to be bussed (leftover wings removed) or unbussed (wings left on table). Read More

CATEGORIZED UNDER: duh, eat me, NCBI ROFL

NCBI ROFL: How the hell does one end up as a doggy breath odor judge?

By ncbi rofl | April 25, 2011 7:00 pm

Assessment of oral malodor in dogs.

“This paper describes a methodology for measuring and assessing changes in canine oral malodor with the intent that it can be used to evaluate products designed to make pets’ breath more acceptable to their owners. Ten judges, able to discriminate and rank malodorous chemical compounds, were trained as a formal sensory panel by an expert in sensory evaluation techniques. Read More

Me First! Flesh-Harvesting, Hair-Transplanting Robot Gets FDA Approval

By Patrick Morgan | April 25, 2011 10:31 am

Some bald men are willing to go to great lengths to grow hair, including paying a robot to punch holes through their scalp skin. Recently approved by the FDA, a new robot takes out tiny pieces of your flesh in order to harvest hair follicles that can then be manually implanted into your bald spots.

Dubbed the ARTAS System, this automated robot images your head to single out a follicular unit, and then uses its robotic arm to make 1 mm-diameter “dermal punches” into your scalp. It continues extracting hair follicles from parts of your head that have sufficient amounts of hair (a process known as follicular unit extraction, or FUE), and these bits of flesh and hair are then stored until a doctor implants them into your bald and thinning areas. Within a few months, these newly-planted hairs start growing just like your other ones.

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NCBI ROFL: Easter special: Stigmata? Or legitimate post-mortem exam?

By ncbi rofl | April 22, 2011 7:00 pm

The crucifixion and death of a man called Jesus

“In summary, I would suggest that Jesus was unable to carry his cross because of his cruel treatment and scourging. He then fell with the 100 pound crosspiece on his back and was unable to break the fall because his outstretched hands were tied to the crosspiece. This resulted in blunt chest trauma and a contused heart. Read More

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