NCBI ROFL: What is this I don't even (facial hair edition).

By ncbi rofl | May 16, 2011 7:00 pm

Unwanted intrusive thoughts and the growth of facial hair: a cognitive analysis.

“The functional connection between unwanted intrusive hair growth and negative automatic cognitions is described and illustrated by case-material. Treatment by cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) is recommended as generally successful except when certain facts are denied.”

Bonus quotes from the full text:

“There is a similarity between unwanted intrusive thoughts and unwanted intrusive facial hair. Recent research from the All-Bulgaria Agricultural College (Organic) in the former Wandsworth, proves conclusively that the two phenomena are not merely similar, but fundamentally interconnected. And interestingly, the causal sequence can operate in either direction. An increase in hair production on the end of one’s nose or ear can produce an automatic negative cognition. Equally, a negative automatic thought can produce an immediate increase in hair growth on the outer surface at the tip of the nose or on the pinna…

The negative cognitions are identified and the person is asked to  keep a daily record of these cognitions, and of any increase in unruly facial hairs. (Clients/patients should be urged to  record in moderation and warned to avoid the fate of C.P. who was carried away by his enthusiasm and sat up all night  in front of the bathroom mirror, his face lit up by powerful lamps, ready to track the growth of a particularly fat nasal  hair). In some cases, it is desirable to collect more detailed information, such as the gloss of the hair, its thickness, temerity, geographical location and its thrust. Colour is important only if it is anomalous. A single blonde strand appearing on the edge of a brunette’s nose may give rise to suspicion or worse, and a patch of black hairs peeking out of a blonde’s ear is bound to provoke a burst of automatic negative cognitions.”

Photo: flickr/ altemark

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NCBI ROFL is the brainchild of two Molecular and Cell Biology graduate students at UC Berkeley and features real research articles from the PubMed database (which is housed by the National Center for Biotechnology information, aka NCBI) that they find amusing (ROFL is a commonly-used internet acronym for "rolling on the floor, laughing"). Follow us on twitter: @ncbirofl

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