Can’t be 100% sure, but that last joke sounds like most any episode of SNL’s Celebrity Jeopardy with fake Sean Connery ragging on fake Alex Trebec.

There is either a lot lost in translation of those jokes- or they were written by the ancestors of modern Finland.

Vince Vaughn

zing!

‘auxiliary forces’ – these days we say ‘ups’  XD

“auxiliary forces” is clearly “somebody else has been messing around with your girl” or “she’s been lying”

Riddles are not jokes.

Most jokes have a cultural context. Without living in the culture, you can’t understand many of them.   And then there is the fact that translating a dead language is an iffy thing at best…if they only have an idea of how things were pronounced (and possibly a completely incorrect one, like when English speakers try to pronounce Latin)  they might be missing a whole layer of  humor that the jokes have. Certain expressions do not translate and are not really understood by people who have not experienced the culture.

I’m afraid I must disagree: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?  ’Ell if I know!  

This is a classic joke, but it looks like a riddle.  The same could be said for virtually *any* joke of the variety commonly referred to as “call and answer” humor.  

Old Mr. B! riddle-me-ree Flour of England,fruit of Spain,
Met together in a shower of rain ;
Put in a bag tied round with a string,
If you’ll tell me this riddle,
I’ll give you a ring ! ‘

This isn’t a joke. It’s a riddle. There’s a difference.

I’m guessing the first one might go something like this… what is it? A liar, of course (the undeflowered was sleeping around, and the deflowered aborted the baby or something quietly). But they write “auxiliary forces” as the answer.

Roughly: What do you call someone who lies? George [Bush].

of your mother…is by the one who has intercourse.   Is this an old way of calling some one a mother fucker?  You know like the cerved index finger, is like of old kind of flipping someone the bird?

“Auxiliary forces”? Some informal assistance? A little help from a friend? The husband couldn’t get it up on the wedding night so his best friend helped out? Sadly, we can’t say.
Now, what do you get when you cross Rogaine and Viagra? don King.
As old Don fades from public consciousness, the number of people who get that one is already diminishing. We can only imagine what they will make out of it in five hundred years.

Regarding George Bus and his Texas:
Question:  How do you tell when a Texan is lying?Ans:  His mouth is moving.Regarding Citizens United (The Supreme Court ruling which states corporations are people):”I’ll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one.”

That last joke properly translated is “Your mother is a whore”

You’re probably right. If you’ve ever tried to learn another language, you know the first things you learn are “hello”, “goodbye”, “how are you?”, “I am fine”, “where is…?”, “there is…”, and “your mother is a whore”.

I am so embarrassed to admit that this is EXACTLY what I first learned in 3 of the languages I now speak. The” yo mama is a w***e” insult is the one statement that remains perfectly understood in every language.

Not certain, but I think the punchline ends with “…and the camel you rode in on.”

That’s what she said.

Thought the first one was Jesus or Mary

These tablets are over 3500 years old. I’m afraid that’s before Mary or Jesus.

Same Legend?

Those darn idioms.

Still better than Mock The Week, to be fair

“Auxiliary forces” could be something like, say, “Government report”. They are so stupid / inefficient that they report that the virgin is pregnant and the girl who had sex is not.

Förstår inte