If you feel immobilized by the latest bump in gas prices, just follow these five simple steps:
- scour through the rotting dregs of your kitchen’s garbage cans, collect all animal and plant products (the fouler the better)
- toss a few billion garbage-loving bacteria into the decaying sludge
- give the microbes a few days to breed and ferment
- discard gelatinous muck, save all gases emitted
- enjoy your environmentally friendly energy!

