Astronauts can’t be all business all the time; sometimes you just have to cut loose. Well that’s exactly what billionaire red-nosed clown Guy Laliberte intends to help the astronauts do when they blast into space tomorrow.
From the AP:
The man who hopes to be the first clown in space, Cirque du Soleil founder Guy Laliberte, said Tuesday he would tickle fellow astronauts as they sleep aboard the International Space Station.
The crew must be ecstatic to have him aboard. Laliberte might want to stick to handing out red noses and let the astronauts rest up so they can, um, fly a space shuttle.
MSNBC.com compiled a slideshow of their top nine space antics, a list that will surely include Laliberte’s ticklefest in the future. But for now it seems that astronauts’ favorite pastimes involve playing space golf, eating space fast-food, and dumping space trash.
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It seems hygiene in space is all the rage. First, it was the odor-resistant underwear that one astronaut wore for a month. Now, China’s space program has come up with 100 rules for potential ‘nauts—and anyone with bad breath, dental cavities, body odor, or a family history of serious disease within the past three generations need not apply (apparently the program is looking only for “super human beings”).
The BBC reports:
Shi Bing Bing, a doctor at the 454th Air Force Hospital in Nanjing, eastern China, said the new rules will help China send the best of the best into space.
“Bad body odour will affect fellow colleagues in the narrow confines of a space shuttle,” he said. “These astronauts could be regarded as super human beings.”
Mr Shi’s hospital has now carried out a first screening of candidates to weed out those who fell foul of the 100 rules. A further two screenings will whittle hopefuls down to the small band who will follow in the footsteps of China’s space pioneers, chosen in 1997.
We hate to say it, but sometimes discrimination stinks.
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If you think changing your underwear day after day gets tedious, try doing it while orbiting the Earth. What better opportunity is there, then, to test a new type of undies that are anti-odor, anti-bacterial and water-absorbent—and that allowed an astronaut on the shuttle Endeavour to wear the same pair for a month straight.
Koichi Wakata, who was in orbit for four-and-a-half months, also tested socks, pants, and shirts that use the same technology. The AP reports:
NASA’s space station program manager, Mike Suffredini, stressed the importance of testing new products, especially those aimed at improving astronauts’ quality of life. There’s no way to wash clothes in space. Station residents simply ditch dirty outfits, along with other garbage, in cargo ships no longer needed that are sent plunging in flames through the atmosphere.
Scientists say they are excited to examine Wakata’s high-tech underthings to see how well they worked. For their sake, let’s hope that the undies are, in fact, as odor-resistant as the manufacturers claim.
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Image: flickr / hans s
Former U.S. Pres. Richard Nixon may or may not have been a crook, but one thing’s for sure: He had a backup plan in case the astronauts of the first manned mission to the moon never returned to Earth. Nixon had a speech and a plan of action prepared in the event of a spacebound disaster, according to The Smoking Gun:
After making condolence calls to the “widows-to-be,” Nixon would have said, “Fate has ordained that the men who went to the moon to explore in peace will stay on the moon to rest in peace.” We’ve also included a second memo–prepared by NASA for the president and vice president–suggesting statements in the event of Apollo “crew fatalities.” The presidential lamentation ended by noting that the dead men “have followed a star, in night of space, and we for whom they went will not forget.”
He even had a statement to the families of the space explorers of Apollo XI, complete with blanks to fill in with the astronauts’ names.
Luckily, as we’re all aware, the mission went smoothly. But this just-in-case plan (you can read the actual memo here) gives us the creepy feeling of reading the obituary of someone who is still alive.
Addendum: This memo was first published on The Smoking Gun in August of 2005.
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In reality Chris Pine’s character in Star Trek might well have looked more like Seinfeld’s George Costanza—that is, if the makers of the sci-fi flick had considered the fact that long-term space travel is likely to make a person look fat and ugly.
Besides food and water, humans need gravity in order to look normal—without it, our muscles would wither away, our bones wouldn’t develop properly, and our faces would become bloated. According to astrobiologist Lewis Dartnell at the University College London, when a person is in space for an extended amount of time, fluids that are normally kept in the lower limbs start to accumulate in the head, causing it to swell up. The hair would fall out, because hair is no longer needed to help keep the bodywarm. To top it all off, astronauts could expect the onset of space-obesity, the result of a lack of exercise in microgravity.
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It takes Sandra Magnus more than two hours and a roll of duct tape to cook garlic and onions. Granted, she’s doing it all in space, where for the last four months she has been practicing orbital cooking. It’s not the easiest of tasks in a low-gravity environment, where even the tiniest crumbs can get lodged in a shuttle vent or even float into an astronaut’s nose, posing a breathing hazard.
One of Magnus’s first space culinary efforts: pesto canned chicken with vegetables, olives, and sun-dried tomatoes. The result? “Mediocre,” she said. She kept a journal of her cooking experiences, jotting down observations that are sure to come in handy for astronaut posterity. She noted that mixing was most easily done with sealed plastic bags, duct tape proved useful as a way to keep items (especially waste) in place, and when slicing, large pieces were most practical.
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Astronauts make plenty of sacrifices to stay alive in space—including drinking their own urine if they have to. But when it comes to underwear, they need to change it every few days or else their briefs could turn into a bacterial mess, according to the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA). Newcomer astronaut Koichi Wakata will pack 45 pairs of underwear for his trip to space, so he can help JAXA make some upgrades to its space under garments—including making it odor-free and bacteria-resistant in zero-g.
JAXA, Japan Women’s University, and five Japanese companies have given Wakata a week’s worth of underwear and other clothing to test in space. The clothes are easier on the skin, fitted for someone crouched in zero gravity, have Velcro to prevent static, and are made of antibacterial threads.
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Space travel isn’t exactly known for its culinary pleasures. But astronauts in the future may have a fresh alternative to freeze dried food: A team of Chinese scientists are proposing that silkworms—the mulberry-leaf-munching larvae of silkmoths—can be easily reared on long-term space flights and provide valuable protein (as in, meals) for astronauts.
On missions that may last several years, astronauts will need a sustainable, renewable source of animal protein. Researchers have considered everything from poultry to fish to sea urchin larvae. Chicken, they decided, would require too much room and food, and would generate too much excrement. Fish are too sensitive to water conditions—H20 being of such limited supply in space that astronauts drink recycled urine and sweat.
Silkworms, on the other hand, require minimal space, food, and water, and produce very little excrement. The critters are packed with protein and rich in amino acids (twice the amount in pork and four times the amount in milk and eggs). Even the silk that the pupae use to spin their cocoons can be chemically processed to become edible.
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Tomorrow, most of America will gather in front of a table to ingest massive quantities of carb- and fat-driven foodstuffs. But what about the few Americans currently in space? Not to worry: Lest the seven astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavour go without their requisite servings of turkey, stuffing, and candied yams, NASA is providing a Thanksgiving meal.
The six Americans on board and one Russian—who, in the spirit of inclusion, is also joining the meal—will float through their feast (literally), eating their feast from individual pouches with Velcro tags, which they can affix to metal trays that can be attached to their laps or the wall. Each tray is equipped with a tethered spoon, fork, knife, and pair of scissors for cutting open the food pouches.
While the flavor ranges in space are somewhat limited, NASA works hard to engineer a varied menu. Of course, the results aren’t always so successful, according to reports:
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· After weeks of only eating freeze-dried food, astronauts returning from space say their space suits smell like steak. Turns out, they’re not making it up.
· Underage scientists at Rice University are trying to brew a beer that fights cancer.
· The Daddy of long legs: the world’s longest insect.
· Look what Iran is building: the world’s longest ostrich meat sandwich.
· In honor of the first Global Handwashing Day this past Wednesday and reports that British men have filthy fingers, we suggest reading up on personal hygiene.
