Comments on: Is sorting mysterious to Jesse Bering?

By: omar

omar — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 21:42:22 +0000

As others have stated, the true number of people who don’t care enough about religion to have it come in the way of everyday happiness is actually huge. Fanatics who are absolutely sure that Allah will smite them if they dont make their spouse do X or Y is much smaller. Vocal atheists who really really hate the notion of doing anything “religious” should not marry a vocal religious person who really really believes in doing everything his or her religion orders; all other combinations are possible on a case by case basis..
About believer wives and their need submit, I have seen cases in Pakistan where the injunction to submit to the husband was interpreted to mean that a religious wife will not drink alcohol with him and will not approve of his drinking, but will go so far as to bring glasses and ice for drinking alcohol. Humans are adaptable. Even religious people adapt. So do atheists.
America, with relentless instruction to “be true to yourself” is a relatively less hypocritical/accomodating society, but even here some compromise may be seen. In most “traditional” societies, compromise and mild hypocrisy are a way of life. An interesting side note: youngsters who grow up in religious households in the US are sometimes far more intolerant in practice than their parents. Something about an American education teaches them that if X is true, then you must live by X. That is NOT the message in Pakistan. X is true, but life is more important, at least until the wahabis and true believers take over.

By: Chris T

Chris T — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 16:35:34 +0000

People here actually read Slate? I gave up on the site due to the quality of the articles and commenters a while ago.

By: Charles Nydorf

Charles Nydorf — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 13:37:20 +0000

The primary meaning of ‘godless’ is ‘wicked or unprincipled’. It should not be used as a synonym for ‘atheistic.’

By: Spike Gomes

Spike Gomes — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 04:53:49 +0000

April:

That’s why you gotta love okcupid’s system of not only marking one’s religion on the profile but one’s level of adherence to it.

For me a level of adherence that says “laughing about it” is far more important than “atheist” matching. I don’t want to date someone like the Skepchick anymore than I want to date Michelle Bachmann.

By: April Brown

April Brown — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 01:51:43 +0000

Practically, in terms of relationships, the definition for ‘aetheist’ should really be broadened to include those who don’t think a diety is relevant, even if it does exist. That accounts for all the people who mark down a religion on the census but aren’t religious. That’s basically the same thing as aetheist when being married and raising kids, etc.

By: Darkseid

Darkseid — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 00:00:36 +0000

yeah, he’s a horrible troll of a science “writer.” definitely my least favorite on the web

By: ohwilleke

ohwilleke — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 23:02:40 +0000

In practice, there are lots of ways to smooth over the differences with a bit of compromise. Religion’s salience is not the same to every person; and different parts of religion matter to different people. Giving up some recognition of Christmas is much harder than giving up weekly attendance at religious ceremonies, for example.

By: Tomasz R.

Tomasz R. — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 22:40:30 +0000

Is it bad when an atheist man marries a believer woman? If she believes in being submissive to her husband and sees some attractive “bad boy” features in his atheism? I suppose the worst combination is a bossy religious man + enlightened liberal woman: that spells conflict.

By: pconroy

pconroy — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 21:48:09 +0000

Interesting!

I’m an Atheist, which I don’t mind publicly admitting, except I play it down in work situations – if my boss is very religious for instance – as sometimes people can get upset by this.

My first wife was a Polish Atheist, the second a French Atheist and the third an American Atheist. The first was raised Atheist and cryptically Catholic as a child, the second nominally Catholic as a child, the third strictly Catholic as a child, and flirted with Buddhism as a younger adult, before becoming Atheist.

As a user of dating sites, I discovered a long time ago that for optimal matching, it was better for me to exclude all religiously affiliated girls, then the remainder “miraculously” happened to match my interests, abilities much better… though not necessarily politics.

By: Kirk

Kirk — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 21:44:50 +0000

A man in Cairo is probably going to marry a woman in Cairo and both are most likely native Egyptians. Men/Women, Men/Men or Women/Women in coffee shops in Portland, Madison and Austin have a damn good chance of connecting with another Atheist (or anarchist or pagan…) much like any two snails in my garden will get together with each other and not a snail from Portugal.

By: ackbark

ackbark — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 21:34:22 +0000

Have you ever read Bering in Mind? He’ll take an interesting topic and milk in the most ungodly, hideous way.

Like a National Geographic article wrapped around a nugget of fact, rather than photos.

By: Razib Khan

Razib Khan — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 21:30:22 +0000

fixed.

By: marcel

marcel — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 21:08:50 +0000

Your comment about the sex ratio problem looks interesting: however, clicking on it currently generates a 404 error.