This is a bull elephant firmly establishing why it is he, and not the lion, who is king of beasts. The elephant’s penis is not only massive but prehensile. As we watched in baffled amusement (and the faintest tinge of inadequacy), he used his penis to prop himself up (as in the photo), swat flies from his side and scratch himself on his stomach. David Attenborough never showed us that…
There’s good reason for elephants to have prehensile penises. It’s hard enough for a six-tonne animal to get into the right position for sex, let alone having to do the rhythmic thrusting that’s required. So he let’s his penis do all the work for him.
You’ll also note the dark stain behind his eye – that’s a leak from his temporal gland. It means that this male was entering musth, the period when their testosterone shoots through the roof and they get incredibly horny and aggressive. We tried to drive round this male and he basically charged us. Tramply doom was averted by our driver who slammed his palm against the car door as hard as he could. The elephant stopped and huffed and puffed. We did our best to not soil ourselves.
This picture gives you an idea of how close he was. After a seemingly infinite standstill, he moved aside, extended his enormous penis and had a wee. It’s amazing how terror can convert into comedy so quickly…
November 7th, 2009 at 7:57 am
I was once accosted on the stairs of the old geology building in Helsinki by Michael Fortelius. He pressed a paper into my hand and ran off with a smile. The paper was about testicondy in elephants – their balls don’t drop.
The point of the paper was that because of this they have a higher mutation rate, and this might explain the high rate of diversification of the elephants, mammoths etc. in the fossil record.
I just thought you might like to know this.
November 7th, 2009 at 8:11 am
Oh. my. heavens.
November 7th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
If not for the testicondy, there might be some “tusks” accompanying that ‘trunk’?
November 8th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
Reminds me of doing research in Botswana – we used to sex the fresh dung by the pattern of urine deposited with it. In males the urine was in front of the dung (for obvious reasons), sometimes by a looong way… I can definitely confirm that being charged by a male in musth is a very scary experience, especially when you are on foot not too far away from it!
November 9th, 2009 at 9:00 am
….. and even more so if you happen to turn your back on the elephant…..
November 9th, 2009 at 11:37 am
“tramply doom”
My favourite term for today.
November 13th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
It looks to me like the first photo is of an elephant with a deformed back left leg.
You’re pulling our leg, aren’t you?!
December 15th, 2009 at 10:36 am
Was redirected here from an article on Cracked.com and I must say, your writing style rocks. Loved it as much as the article content.
December 15th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
I love that Cracked.com is citing me as an expert in elephant todgers.
December 16th, 2009 at 12:08 am
CRACKED!!!!!!!
December 16th, 2009 at 10:42 am
Well now i know how to linked on cracked.com
December 19th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Directed here from CRACKED.com as well. I too appreciate your writing style and will henceforth be a regular visitor.
Cheers
January 9th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
I would really like to put my ex-husband in the pen with this bull. They behave similarly.
February 17th, 2010 at 10:05 pm
Also linked here from cracked. Just added your blog to my bookmarks tab next to Pharyngula
February 25th, 2010 at 6:59 pm
I enjoyed your writing style, too.
I also linked here from Cracked.