Friday flashback: That’s one miraculous conception.

By Seriously Science | August 9, 2013 12:00 pm

Photo: flickr/quinet

How can a woman without a vagina become pregnant? By getting stabbed in the abdomen after performing oral sex, setting free the sperm from her stomach, of course. This incredible case report was published more than 20 years ago (and similar stories have been circulating since well before then), but we think it’s worth revisiting. Read to the end to hear how cattle were involved!

Oral conception. Impregnation via the proximal gastrointestinal tract in a patient with an aplastic distal vagina. Case report.

“Case report:
The patient was a 15-year-old girl employed in a local bar. She was admitted to hospital after a knife fight involving her, a former lover and a new boyfriend. Who stabbed whom was not quite clear but all three participants in the small war were admitted with knife injuries.

The girl had some minor lacerations of the left hand and a single stab-wound in the upper abdomen. Under general anaesthesia, laparotomy was performed through an upper midline abdominal incision to reveal two holes in the stomach. These two wounds had resulted from the single stab-wound through the abdominal wall. The two defects were repaired in two layers. The stomach was noted empty at the time of surgery and no gastric contents were seen in the abdomen. Nevertheless, the abdominal cavity was lavaged with normal saline before closure. The condition of the patient improved rapidly following routine postoperative care and she was discharged home after 10 days.

Precisely 278 days later the patient was admitted again to hospital with acute, intermittent abdominal pain. Abdominal examination revealed a term pregnancy with a cephalic fetal presentation. The uterus was contracting regularly and the fetal heart was heard. Inspection of the vulva showed no vagina, only a shallow skin dimple was present below the external urethral meatus and between the labia minora. An emergency lower segment caesarean section was performed under spinal anaesthesia and a live male infant weighing 2800 g was born…

…While closing the abdominal wall, curiosity could not be contained any longer and the patient was interviewed with the help of a sympathetic nursing sister. The whole story did not become completely clear during that day but, with some subsequent inquiries, the whole saga emerged.

The patient was well aware of the fact that she had no vagina and she had started oral experiments after disappointing attempts at conventional intercourse. Just before she was stabbed in the abdomen she had practised fellatio with her new boyfriend and was caught in the act by her former lover. The fight with knives ensued. She had never had a period and there was no trace of lochia after the caesarean section. She had been worried about the increase in her abdominal size but could not believe she was pregnant although it had crossed her mind more often as her girth increased and as people around her suggested that she was pregnant. She did recall several episodes of lower abdominal pain during the previous year. The young mother, her family, and the likely father adapted themselves rapidly to the new situation and some cattle changed hands to prove that there were no hard feelings.

A plausible explanation for this pregnancy is that spermatozoa gained access to the reproductive organs via the injured gastrointestinal tract. It is known that spermatozoa do not survive long in an environment with a low pH (Jeffcoate1975), but it is also known that saliva has a high pH and that a starved person does not produce acid under normal circumstances (Bernards & Bouman 1976). It is likely that the patient became pregnant with her first or nearly first ovulation otherwise one would expect that inspissated blood in the uterus and salpinges would have made fertilization difficult. The fact that the son resembled the father excludes an even more miraculous conception.”

Related content:
NCBI ROFL: [Insert oral sex joke here].
NCBI ROFL: Does semen have antidepressant properties?
NCBI ROFL: Cunnilingus increases duration of copulation in the Indian flying fox.

  • Daniel Lowe

    Call the Pope, we’ve explained the Immaculate Conception?

    • Ali K

      I think you’re confusing the supposed Immaculate Conception of Mary with the supposed virginal conception of Jesus.

      • Guest

        I think you’re confusing this with another joke you were supposed to ruin

    • alisha652

      like James responded I didn’t know that anybody able to earn $9769 in a few weeks on the computer. did you read this link w­w­w.K­E­P­2.c­o­m

    • TheOven

      The Pope will hang up on you because you don’t know what immaculate means.

      Immaculate conception is when you’re born without original sin – not born of a virgin. The virgin Mary was born without original sin. It was her son that was conceived without help from any man.

      • Calladus

        Oh, just like me! I was also born without original sin!

        • TheOven

          And still a virgin too!

          (Sorry but you walked right into that one.)

      • Guest

        “It was her son that was conceived without help from any man.”

        And yet that son somehow still manages to be descended from King David via “dad” Joseph. THE SYSTEM WORKS!

        • TheOven

          I know, right? Wait… are you calling God a liar?

        • Steve

          For the record, Mary was also descended from King David.

      • Brunskii

        Yada …yada, yada.. and the pied piper marches on.

        • TheOven

          What does that even mean?

      • Timothy J Guinan

        Will the Pope explain why he knowingly let priests rape and sodomize little boys, hide the evidence, let it continue to happen, and when caught, they didn’t get rid of the priests or turn them in to the authorities. They hid the evidence and moved them somewhere else to do it to more innocent little kids. Maybe that scumbag should answer that first!

    • Brunskii

      Me thinks they wouldn’t want to be distracted from their.. inadequate deception.

  • Congslop

    What the bloody hell

  • Timothy James Rogers

    I just don’t understand the whole not having a vagina thing. Is that a disorder or something?

    • Valeria Ortu

      The upper third of the vagina has a different embryological origin from the lower and external part. Sometimes it happens that during the foetal life the upper extremity does not grow as it is supposed to do, so: normal external genitalia, no vagina or short/incomplete vagina in depth.
      The reason? There are many… but there are no certanties about it.

  • datafox

    “The fact that the son resembled the father excludes an even more miraculous conception.”

    I wonder how much of that is a funny and how much of it was serious.

  • Mike Shefler

    Here in Pittsburgh all we care about is the immaculate reception.

  • Ian Brodrick

    Oh aye back in my day we ad’ a bloody knife fight of every Friday, bloody Southern softies. Come up T’North and well show you how to receive a knife between your ribs with style.

  • emjaysea

    For pity’s sake, someone give that girl a vagina!


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