The end is nigh! Let’s relive our most viral moments: That’s one miraculous conception.

By Seriously Science | August 6, 2018 6:00 am

[Note from the authors of “Seriously, Science?”: After nine years with Discover, we’ve been informed that this will be our last month blogging on this platform. Despite being (usually) objective scientists, we have a sentimental streak, and we have spent the last few days reminiscing about the crazy, and often funny, science we have highlighted. Therefore, we hereby begin a month-long feast of our favorite science papers, starting with the first paper we ever blogged about here at Discover (with a title that was loved and hated by our readers): “That’s one miraculous conception.”]

How can a woman without a vagina become pregnant? By getting stabbed in the abdomen after performing oral sex, setting free the sperm from her stomach, of course. This incredible case report was published more than 20 years ago (and similar stories have been circulating since well before then), but we think it’s worth revisiting. Read to the end to hear how cattle were involved!

Oral conception. Impregnation via the proximal gastrointestinal tract in a patient with an aplastic distal vagina. Case report.

“Case report:
The patient was a 15-year-old girl employed in a local bar. She was admitted to hospital after a knife fight involving her, a former lover and a new boyfriend. Who stabbed whom was not quite clear but all three participants in the small war were admitted with knife injuries.

The girl had some minor lacerations of the left hand and a single stab-wound in the upper abdomen. Under general anaesthesia, laparotomy was performed through an upper midline abdominal incision to reveal two holes in the stomach. These two wounds had resulted from the single stab-wound through the abdominal wall. The two defects were repaired in two layers. The stomach was noted empty at the time of surgery and no gastric contents were seen in the abdomen. Nevertheless, the abdominal cavity was lavaged with normal saline before closure. The condition of the patient improved rapidly following routine postoperative care and she was discharged home after 10 days.

Precisely 278 days later the patient was admitted again to hospital with acute, intermittent abdominal pain. Abdominal examination revealed a term pregnancy with a cephalic fetal presentation. The uterus was contracting regularly and the fetal heart was heard. Inspection of the vulva showed no vagina, only a shallow skin dimple was present below the external urethral meatus and between the labia minora. An emergency lower segment caesarean section was performed under spinal anaesthesia and a live male infant weighing 2800 g was born…

…While closing the abdominal wall, curiosity could not be contained any longer and the patient was interviewed with the help of a sympathetic nursing sister. The whole story did not become completely clear during that day but, with some subsequent inquiries, the whole saga emerged.

The patient was well aware of the fact that she had no vagina and she had started oral experiments after disappointing attempts at conventional intercourse. Just before she was stabbed in the abdomen she had practised fellatio with her new boyfriend and was caught in the act by her former lover. The fight with knives ensued. She had never had a period and there was no trace of lochia after the caesarean section. She had been worried about the increase in her abdominal size but could not believe she was pregnant although it had crossed her mind more often as her girth increased and as people around her suggested that she was pregnant. She did recall several episodes of lower abdominal pain during the previous year. The young mother, her family, and the likely father adapted themselves rapidly to the new situation and some cattle changed hands to prove that there were no hard feelings.

Comments
A plausible explanation for this pregnancy is that spermatozoa gained access to the reproductive organs via the injured gastrointestinal tract. It is known that spermatozoa do not survive long in an environment with a low pH (Jeffcoate1975), but it is also known that saliva has a high pH and that a starved person does not produce acid under normal circumstances (Bernards & Bouman 1976). It is likely that the patient became pregnant with her first or nearly first ovulation otherwise one would expect that inspissated blood in the uterus and salpinges would have made fertilization difficult. The fact that the son resembled the father excludes an even more miraculous conception.”

Related content:
NCBI ROFL: [Insert oral sex joke here].
NCBI ROFL: Does semen have antidepressant properties?
NCBI ROFL: Cunnilingus increases duration of copulation in the Indian flying fox.

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  • OWilson

    To prevent miraculous conceptions (and an host of other undesirable communicable maladies) young ladies were once taught to scrupulously avoid actually sitting on public toilet seats.

    This practice is still observed in some quarters.

    On another note, sorry to hear that this blog has gone the way of the “Order of the Golden Fleece, a prestigious chivalric award created in the late-15th Century”, and made humorously popular in the U.S. by the late United States Democrat Senator William Proxmire.

    Ye shall be missed!

  • http://www.mazepath.com/uncleal/EquivPrinFail.pdf Uncle Al

    Was she a giant bedbug (“traumatic insemination”)? “This process makes it more likely that a bed bug that hitchhikes on personal belongings like luggage, backpacks and pocketbooks will be a pregnant female.” We must build a Wall against that.

  • http://www.bartking.net Bart King

    Wait, this is terrible news! Is there a NEW platform that Seriously, Science? is migrating to?

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Seriously, Science?

Seriously, Science?, formerly known as NCBI ROFL, is the brainchild of two prone-to-distraction biologists. We highlight the funniest, oddest, and just plain craziest research from the PubMed research database and beyond. Because nobody said serious science couldn't be silly!
Follow us on Twitter: @srslyscience.
Send us paper suggestions: srslyscience[at]gmail.com.
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